I will be breaking from the norm with this RaUM entry. I came across this post through a friend on FB and felt it was worth repeating (or - depending on your frame of mind - borrowing, or stealing, or sharing):
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"Teachers' hefty salaries are driving up taxes, and they only work 9 or10 months a year! It's time we put things in perspective and pay them for what they do - babysit! We can get that for less than minimum wage.
That's right. Let's give them $3.00 an hour and only the hours they worked; not any of that silly planning time, or any time they spend before or after school. That would be $19.50 a day (7:45 to 3:00 PM with 45 min. off for lunch and plan-- that equals 6 1/2 hours).
Each parent should pay $19.50 a day for these teachers to baby-sit their children. Now how many students do they teach in a day...maybe 30? So that's $19.50 x 30 = $585.00 a day.
However, remember they only work 180 days a year!!! I am not going to pay them for any vacations.
LET'S SEE.... That's $585 X 180= $105,300 per year. (Hold on! My calculator needs new batteries).
What about those special education teachers and the ones with Master's degrees? Well, we could pay them minimum wage ($7.75), and just to be fair, round it off to $8.00 an hour. That would be $8 X 6 1/2 hours X 30 children X 180 days = $280,800 per year.
Wait a minute -- there's something wrong here! There sure is!
The average teacher's salary (nationwide) is $50,000. $50,000/180 days = $277.77/per day/30 students = $9.25/6.5 hours = $1.42 per hour per student--a very inexpensive baby-sitter and they even EDUCATE your kids!
WHAT A DEAL!!!!"
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As a fellow educator, I post this in solidarity with individuals who are already teaching and those who are working hard towards their degrees in education. It's a tough road and a career path that isn't for everyone. But, for those of us who love what we do (and stick with it), this is a fresh perspective on an old argument.
Until next time, faithful reader......
Showing posts with label rant. Show all posts
Showing posts with label rant. Show all posts
Monday, February 21, 2011
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
My Light Bulb Moment (or Consider It a 2011 Resolution)
Welcome back!!
It's no coincidence that the time spent on this blog decreased dramatically when I started going out with my girlfriend last spring.
I found it hard to be open and honest on the blog while simultaneously trying to remain guarded and not open up "too soon" with her at the start of the relationship.
Why the sudden change now? Am I single?? No. No. It's nothing of the sort.
I just realized what this blog meant to me and my sanity. My mental health has taken a toll lately by keeping a lot of my "random" thoughts in my head. Purging my brian of these thoughts that have weighed heavy on my conscience has been cathartic. I've been depriving myself of the opportunity to be less stressed, less overwhelmed, and less helpless for the better part of 2010, which was a challenging year. I refuse to let that happen in 2011.
Those closest to me know that I am not one to open up or share my emotions/feelings very easily. That's what makes this blog rather unique. I don't really hold much back when writing here. There is something inherently impersonal in blogging that makes it easier to write whatever I feel without censoring the content. I do happen to know some of you that visit here, whether it's occassionally or immediately after every post. For the most part, I consider my "audience" to be anonymous. I admit there are times when I want to know EVERYONE that reads this blog. Nevertheless, I truly enjoy writing for the unknown readers (including the future me).
This time away has also forced me to accept something that is probably obvious to most folks. When in a relationship, you cannot force your significant other to like the person you want to be, or the person you try to be around them. They need to accept you for who you are. For better or worse, this blog is an extension of me and maybe even a bigger piece of who I am than I care to admit. After all, a lot of who I am is left in every entry of this blog.
I kept myself from writing much in 2010. That will change going forward. It's not as if I have anything to hide. ;)
For your continued readership and patience throughout 2010, I thank you.
For those of you new to RaUM, I hope you enjoy the sneak peeks into my life.
Until next time, faithful reader......
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Addendum (2 hours after posting):
For the record, those who know me well (and that is a very short list, folks) know that I don't share my emotions/feelings very well in the "real world". Blame it on my troubled childhood or poor social skills as a youth. Perhaps, it was never learning how to deal with rejection or never understanding how to accept that life can be fucked up sometimes.
That being said, I want to be clear that the issue with the gf and my blogging had to do with my perception of how she might (or might not) react to things I had to write about. I can be very self-conscious about what I post sometimes (believe it or not!) which can make me more sensitive to any potential feedback I might get from those close to me. I hope you didn't think I was using her as a scapegoat.
It's no coincidence that the time spent on this blog decreased dramatically when I started going out with my girlfriend last spring.
I found it hard to be open and honest on the blog while simultaneously trying to remain guarded and not open up "too soon" with her at the start of the relationship.
Why the sudden change now? Am I single?? No. No. It's nothing of the sort.
I just realized what this blog meant to me and my sanity. My mental health has taken a toll lately by keeping a lot of my "random" thoughts in my head. Purging my brian of these thoughts that have weighed heavy on my conscience has been cathartic. I've been depriving myself of the opportunity to be less stressed, less overwhelmed, and less helpless for the better part of 2010, which was a challenging year. I refuse to let that happen in 2011.
Those closest to me know that I am not one to open up or share my emotions/feelings very easily. That's what makes this blog rather unique. I don't really hold much back when writing here. There is something inherently impersonal in blogging that makes it easier to write whatever I feel without censoring the content. I do happen to know some of you that visit here, whether it's occassionally or immediately after every post. For the most part, I consider my "audience" to be anonymous. I admit there are times when I want to know EVERYONE that reads this blog. Nevertheless, I truly enjoy writing for the unknown readers (including the future me).
This time away has also forced me to accept something that is probably obvious to most folks. When in a relationship, you cannot force your significant other to like the person you want to be, or the person you try to be around them. They need to accept you for who you are. For better or worse, this blog is an extension of me and maybe even a bigger piece of who I am than I care to admit. After all, a lot of who I am is left in every entry of this blog.
I kept myself from writing much in 2010. That will change going forward. It's not as if I have anything to hide. ;)
For your continued readership and patience throughout 2010, I thank you.
For those of you new to RaUM, I hope you enjoy the sneak peeks into my life.
Until next time, faithful reader......
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Addendum (2 hours after posting):
For the record, those who know me well (and that is a very short list, folks) know that I don't share my emotions/feelings very well in the "real world". Blame it on my troubled childhood or poor social skills as a youth. Perhaps, it was never learning how to deal with rejection or never understanding how to accept that life can be fucked up sometimes.
That being said, I want to be clear that the issue with the gf and my blogging had to do with my perception of how she might (or might not) react to things I had to write about. I can be very self-conscious about what I post sometimes (believe it or not!) which can make me more sensitive to any potential feedback I might get from those close to me. I hope you didn't think I was using her as a scapegoat.
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
English Language Miscues (or Another Pet Peeve Unveiled)
My nerves are severely frayed and I can sense all of the muscles in my body tense up as I think about what I'm going to write now...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(1) "Humbleness":
Have you ever heard someone speak a word and do a mental double take? You can make sense of what they said after quickly (or not so quickly) deciphering the mangled portion of what they uttered.
We get what they're trying to say. Sadly, we accept these mispronunciations and move on. After all, our own über-important lives are filled with serious concerns. Why should we bother bruising someone's ego and correct them when we have bigger fish to fry? Am I right?
A word already exists for what you're trying to say here, champ: 'humility'! <For some strange reason, right after I typed it, I read the word as humidity and giggled for a bit.> You cannot take any adjective and add the suffix '-ness' to the end of it and think everything is OK. It's as bad as those folks who think they can convert any English word to Spanish by adding an '-o' at the end. It doesn't work! Understand-o?
If you don't believe me, why not tell me how stupid 'strongness' sounds to you? Perhaps 'teachableness' suits your limited English language needs?
I rest my case.
[Side note: To be fair, I know the word 'humbleness' does actually exist but it isn't commonly used. After all, we do use the word humility more than humbleness. Keep up with modern society, please.]
(2) "At the end of the day, ...":
Ahhhh yes. The hot new saying that everyone seems to be using. It's one of the most overused phrases I have heard in a long time! (It's only rivaled nowadays by 'epic', IMO.) When a person starts every other statement with this phrase, my brain goes to two places (depending on my mood): either the person has nothing of value to share and is trying to sound more interesting or the person genuinely believes the BS that's coming out of their mouths which makes me wonder what the end of their days are like. Well, not really. At the end of the day, they're not that interesting to begin with.
Damn it!!! It's contagious!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
OKOKOKOKOKOK....
I'll stop venting now. Do you have any other words or sayings that rub you the wrong way? Do share below in the comments section!!
I hope to hear from you.
Until next time, faithful reader......
P.S. On second thought, those people that add an 'o' to the end of English words are worse. Instead of trying to learn the proper word, they decide that Spanish isn't important enough to make an effort for. In fact, they're devaluing the language and, by proxy and perhaps unintentionally, insulting an entire culture.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(1) "Humbleness":
Have you ever heard someone speak a word and do a mental double take? You can make sense of what they said after quickly (or not so quickly) deciphering the mangled portion of what they uttered.
We get what they're trying to say. Sadly, we accept these mispronunciations and move on. After all, our own über-important lives are filled with serious concerns. Why should we bother bruising someone's ego and correct them when we have bigger fish to fry? Am I right?
A word already exists for what you're trying to say here, champ: 'humility'! <For some strange reason, right after I typed it, I read the word as humidity and giggled for a bit.> You cannot take any adjective and add the suffix '-ness' to the end of it and think everything is OK. It's as bad as those folks who think they can convert any English word to Spanish by adding an '-o' at the end. It doesn't work! Understand-o?
If you don't believe me, why not tell me how stupid 'strongness' sounds to you? Perhaps 'teachableness' suits your limited English language needs?
I rest my case.
[Side note: To be fair, I know the word 'humbleness' does actually exist but it isn't commonly used. After all, we do use the word humility more than humbleness. Keep up with modern society, please.]
(2) "At the end of the day, ...":
Ahhhh yes. The hot new saying that everyone seems to be using. It's one of the most overused phrases I have heard in a long time! (It's only rivaled nowadays by 'epic', IMO.) When a person starts every other statement with this phrase, my brain goes to two places (depending on my mood): either the person has nothing of value to share and is trying to sound more interesting or the person genuinely believes the BS that's coming out of their mouths which makes me wonder what the end of their days are like. Well, not really. At the end of the day, they're not that interesting to begin with.
Damn it!!! It's contagious!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
OKOKOKOKOKOK....
I'll stop venting now. Do you have any other words or sayings that rub you the wrong way? Do share below in the comments section!!
I hope to hear from you.
Until next time, faithful reader......
P.S. On second thought, those people that add an 'o' to the end of English words are worse. Instead of trying to learn the proper word, they decide that Spanish isn't important enough to make an effort for. In fact, they're devaluing the language and, by proxy and perhaps unintentionally, insulting an entire culture.
Saturday, January 23, 2010
Work in Progress
Welcome back,
I went on a bit of a Twitter rant this morning. I'm not sure if it was appropriate or not but I felt that I needed to get those thoughts off my chest. And since I've been dedicating this blog to that very action, I feel it is only fair to re-post the tweets here:
(Around 8:15am)
'Was startled by some news in my dream & woke up. I didnt get the whole story. Now I'm wide awake wishing I could sleep & re-enter my dream.'
[In my dream, someone started telling me about their experience the night before and it seemed like it was leading to an 'interesting' story. I couldn't even begin to imagine what it could be. But I woke up with my heart racing and all I wanted was to go back to sleep and get back into that dream]
'I can't take complements well b/c I never thought I was that special. Still makes me feel a little awkward. May come off as false modesty.'
[Annoyed and frustrated at being wide awake, I got to thinking about the night before when I was told I have a 'brilliant mind'. I've always felt I was fairly normal and to know that I might be "better" than I thought I was - in any capacity - is something that is very humbling and at the same time depressing.]
'It's probably why I don't know how to complement others even when I think they deserve it. I'm working on it. #ivegotlotstolearn'
[I think this is true. If I don't know how to take a complement then I can't easily pass them on to others. Plus, I think too damned much and, at times, I am too passive.]
'There's no pressure becoming friends w/some1 but once I'm attracted to some1 I second guess myself. What do I possibly have to offer her?'
[Some of the "old me" creeping back, I suppose. I shoot myself in the foot before I even get started. It's quite frustrating.]
'But who am I to decide what someone else wants or needs? Ultimately, it's on them.'
[Even though I feel I understand this, I still don't have that selfish edge to go after what I want and/or need. Instead, I'm more empathetic to what I perceive to be other people's needs/wants. A classic case of self-sabotage actually.]
Perhaps writing about it (and acknowledging these ideas) would make it easier for me to reconcile what's going on inside my mind and heart. These are my preliminary thoughts to my tweets from this morning. I will come back to them when I'm not as distracted by things.
Until next time, faithful reader......
I went on a bit of a Twitter rant this morning. I'm not sure if it was appropriate or not but I felt that I needed to get those thoughts off my chest. And since I've been dedicating this blog to that very action, I feel it is only fair to re-post the tweets here:
(Around 8:15am)
'Was startled by some news in my dream & woke up. I didnt get the whole story. Now I'm wide awake wishing I could sleep & re-enter my dream.'
[In my dream, someone started telling me about their experience the night before and it seemed like it was leading to an 'interesting' story. I couldn't even begin to imagine what it could be. But I woke up with my heart racing and all I wanted was to go back to sleep and get back into that dream]
'I can't take complements well b/c I never thought I was that special. Still makes me feel a little awkward. May come off as false modesty.'
[Annoyed and frustrated at being wide awake, I got to thinking about the night before when I was told I have a 'brilliant mind'. I've always felt I was fairly normal and to know that I might be "better" than I thought I was - in any capacity - is something that is very humbling and at the same time depressing.]
'It's probably why I don't know how to complement others even when I think they deserve it. I'm working on it. #ivegotlotstolearn'
[I think this is true. If I don't know how to take a complement then I can't easily pass them on to others. Plus, I think too damned much and, at times, I am too passive.]
'There's no pressure becoming friends w/some1 but once I'm attracted to some1 I second guess myself. What do I possibly have to offer her?'
[Some of the "old me" creeping back, I suppose. I shoot myself in the foot before I even get started. It's quite frustrating.]
'But who am I to decide what someone else wants or needs? Ultimately, it's on them.'
[Even though I feel I understand this, I still don't have that selfish edge to go after what I want and/or need. Instead, I'm more empathetic to what I perceive to be other people's needs/wants. A classic case of self-sabotage actually.]
Perhaps writing about it (and acknowledging these ideas) would make it easier for me to reconcile what's going on inside my mind and heart. These are my preliminary thoughts to my tweets from this morning. I will come back to them when I'm not as distracted by things.
Until next time, faithful reader......
Saturday, July 18, 2009
Venting and Reflecting (or Getting Something Off My Chest)
[Note: For those of you who read my "A Peek Inside My Soul" post from a few weeks ago, consider this a follow-up post.]
I need to get this off my chest. Bear with me as I open up a little...
There have been times this year where I would become insanely furious with my ex-fiancé. I didn't understand why. I knew I was angry at her and thought it would be better to stay quiet. I wasn't exactly sure what it was that set me off each of those times. I had pieces of the puzzle but I think I now have a clear picture as to what I was feeling.
Ultimately, I can't shake the feeling that we wasted time being together. Not for the duration of the relationship but for the latter part of it. It could be due, partly, to convenience since we lived together and we got along just fine so cohabiting was easy. Part of it is also the convenience of simply being together. There's a saying in Spanish "el costumbre es mas fuerte que el amor" (a roughly translation of the idiom could read "routine is stronger than love"). I think that's what happened to us.
What actually caused us to 'fall out of love' is likely different for us both though I feel like I was the only one willing to speak up about our situation. And we DID try to make it work for a little while but I sensed it was probably too late. I didn't feel like there was any real effort on her part to make things work. I stopped trying to force things work. I succumbed to the inevitable and suggested we break up.
As I mentioned months ago, the feeling was mutual. Ultimately, our decision to split was based on the premise that we were both unhappy. The split would allow us to move on and find our own happiness. We still get along great and I'm glad (and admittedly a bit relieved) that she's moved on.
So why is it then that I have had these moments of bitterness, anger, and regret? It's because there is a part of me that feels I wasted time being with her. What really gnaws at me is being stuck with wondering whether I lost months or years staying with her for as long as I did.
When DID she start 'losing that loving feeling'? Why didn't she say anything to me if she sensed any trouble? The more I think about these things the more I feel like I was taken advantage of. I feel bad feeling that way but it's hard to shake that thought.
I'm willing to bet she doesn't know why, or when she knew, the love was gone. These aren't the types of feelings that are tied in to one occasion or specific event. It's a process that occurs over an extended period of time and slowly erodes the foundation of a relationship. I'm not completely innocent and I'm sure I helped contribute to it in some way.
I am not posting this to simply air out my dirty laundry or to reveal some emotional vulnerability. Putting this on paper helps me process my thoughts and allows me to sort things out. I can say with the same certainty as I said it back in the winter, I'm ready to move on and, looking back on things, I wish the break-up had happened sooner.
['Broken record' warning!!] Throughout my life, I was never really comfortable being single. In the past, it was due to insecurities and low self-esteem. Now, I don't feel like I know what to do. I was never good at flirting and don't feel like I would even be able to do it effectively. Also, I'm "socially stupid" when it comes to interpersonal relationships. I don't pick up on signals, signs, etc. from women so I don't even know if I'd be able to recognize when someone is interested in me unless she was blatant about her interest. Ultimately, the relationships will come in due time and I'm in no hurry - even though there are times where I feel like the sands in my hourglass are running out.
My primary focus this year has been enjoying my life. There's so much I haven't done, places I haven't seen, people to reconnect with, and once-in-a-lifetime experiences to revel in. My long-time friends have taken to calling me "Alan 2.0" because of how much I've changed in the past few years. I'm more carefree and I make time to go out more. I may not have made the most of my life to date but, in some ways, I am making up for lost time. I don't want any regrets when I look back on my life.
After all, isn't that what it's all about in the end? Live and enjoy life, ladies and gents! Don't settle for less than you feel you deserve.
Until next time, faithful reader......
I need to get this off my chest. Bear with me as I open up a little...
There have been times this year where I would become insanely furious with my ex-fiancé. I didn't understand why. I knew I was angry at her and thought it would be better to stay quiet. I wasn't exactly sure what it was that set me off each of those times. I had pieces of the puzzle but I think I now have a clear picture as to what I was feeling.
Ultimately, I can't shake the feeling that we wasted time being together. Not for the duration of the relationship but for the latter part of it. It could be due, partly, to convenience since we lived together and we got along just fine so cohabiting was easy. Part of it is also the convenience of simply being together. There's a saying in Spanish "el costumbre es mas fuerte que el amor" (a roughly translation of the idiom could read "routine is stronger than love"). I think that's what happened to us.
What actually caused us to 'fall out of love' is likely different for us both though I feel like I was the only one willing to speak up about our situation. And we DID try to make it work for a little while but I sensed it was probably too late. I didn't feel like there was any real effort on her part to make things work. I stopped trying to force things work. I succumbed to the inevitable and suggested we break up.
As I mentioned months ago, the feeling was mutual. Ultimately, our decision to split was based on the premise that we were both unhappy. The split would allow us to move on and find our own happiness. We still get along great and I'm glad (and admittedly a bit relieved) that she's moved on.
So why is it then that I have had these moments of bitterness, anger, and regret? It's because there is a part of me that feels I wasted time being with her. What really gnaws at me is being stuck with wondering whether I lost months or years staying with her for as long as I did.
When DID she start 'losing that loving feeling'? Why didn't she say anything to me if she sensed any trouble? The more I think about these things the more I feel like I was taken advantage of. I feel bad feeling that way but it's hard to shake that thought.
I'm willing to bet she doesn't know why, or when she knew, the love was gone. These aren't the types of feelings that are tied in to one occasion or specific event. It's a process that occurs over an extended period of time and slowly erodes the foundation of a relationship. I'm not completely innocent and I'm sure I helped contribute to it in some way.
I am not posting this to simply air out my dirty laundry or to reveal some emotional vulnerability. Putting this on paper helps me process my thoughts and allows me to sort things out. I can say with the same certainty as I said it back in the winter, I'm ready to move on and, looking back on things, I wish the break-up had happened sooner.
['Broken record' warning!!] Throughout my life, I was never really comfortable being single. In the past, it was due to insecurities and low self-esteem. Now, I don't feel like I know what to do. I was never good at flirting and don't feel like I would even be able to do it effectively. Also, I'm "socially stupid" when it comes to interpersonal relationships. I don't pick up on signals, signs, etc. from women so I don't even know if I'd be able to recognize when someone is interested in me unless she was blatant about her interest. Ultimately, the relationships will come in due time and I'm in no hurry - even though there are times where I feel like the sands in my hourglass are running out.
My primary focus this year has been enjoying my life. There's so much I haven't done, places I haven't seen, people to reconnect with, and once-in-a-lifetime experiences to revel in. My long-time friends have taken to calling me "Alan 2.0" because of how much I've changed in the past few years. I'm more carefree and I make time to go out more. I may not have made the most of my life to date but, in some ways, I am making up for lost time. I don't want any regrets when I look back on my life.
After all, isn't that what it's all about in the end? Live and enjoy life, ladies and gents! Don't settle for less than you feel you deserve.
Until next time, faithful reader......
Friday, July 3, 2009
Manny on Manny (a Chat About the Steroids Era )
With the return of Manny Ramirez to the LA Dodgers today, I thought it would be appropriate to post a conversation had with a good friend of mine recently about Ramirez' suspension for 'performance enhancing drugs' a few weeks ago.
This is transcript of our conversation:
[14:47] Manny: my question is : What percentage of players you think are dirty?
[14:49] Alan: oh man... define dirty? do you mean based on what is tested for now? or anyone trying to find an edge?
[14:50] Manny: anything that gives you an edge is unfair to the game
[14:50] Manny: therefore dirty
[14:51] Manny: if you use anything on a test that helps you pass that test is consider cheating
[14:51] Manny: unless specified by rules - disclaimer
[14:51] Alan: ok... then i'll say this... other than mechanical adjustments and studying your opponent's behaviors, patterns, etc, focusing simply on injecting, ingesting, or in any way consuming some drug to help your game....
[14:52] Alan: i'd say it is more likely that batters would be dirty than pitchers
[14:52] Manny: watching the game is just like studying for a test so that's fair
[14:53] Alan: pitchers make up approx 33% of MLB rosters so looking only at batters... from the bench players to the stars.... i'd be willing to be roughly half of the batters are "dirty" which would mean about 1/3 of MLB is dirty
[14:53] Manny: injecting, ingesting or any mechanical help is dirty
[14:53] Alan: but i don't think it's more than that
[14:53] Alan: by mechanical i meant body mechanics (adjustments to body motions to be more efficient, etc)
[14:54] Alan: not like cyborg attachments, etc... lol
[14:54] Manny: that's adapting yourself to a movement to improve so that's studying
[14:54] Alan: right...
[14:54] Manny: corked bats falls under mechanical help
[14:55] Manny: bats LOOOL
[14:55] Alan: yes!!!
[14:55] Alan: ugh... i HATE that more than anything else...
[14:55] Manny: yeah that's f-up
[14:55] Alan: they should have one type of wood... and the ONLY difference would be weight/length....
[14:55] Manny: grease balls
[14:55] Manny: that's the worse
[14:56] Manny: or mechanical helps
[14:58] Manny: if I want an unrealistic game - just like the game of baseball we see everyday - then I would just turn my PS3 on and play any MLB game - at the end of the day I know for a fact that the players are going to be the same !
[14:59] Alan: lol... good point...
[14:59] Manny: and not even that -
[14:59] Alan: but you know what? why should we abandon the game when we have players that ARE out there playing the game the "right way"
[14:59] Alan: it's not fair to those players who ARE clean
[14:59] Manny: what makes you think they are playing the right way?
[15:05] Alan: the right way meaning the clean ones...
[15:05] Manny: credibility is an unknown word for the sport of baseball - I guess I go back to playing video games and spending my $50 baseball ticket money on something else
[15:05] Alan: they worked their way up to the majors with hard work, dedication, and love for the game
[15:05] Alan: and now they have to pay for the sins of the cheaters
[15:06] Manny: isn't that what happened when Adam and Eve?
[15:06] Alan: HAHA!
[15:06] Manny: not to be religious or anything
[15:07] Alan: no not at all... i understand
[15:08] Alan: but it's a fair point...
On an added note, I don't feel that Manny should be allowed to play in the All Star Game primarily because he was suspended for "cheating". MLB can always justify the decision to freeze him out of the big game by saying he didn't play that many games in the first part of the season to warrant being selected over other players who did play the majority of games this season.
Until next time, faithful reader......
This is transcript of our conversation:
[14:32] Manny: manny ramirez suspended for 50 games for being so maricon taken enhancement drugs fu** bitch me pissed now
[14:33] Alan: lol... i know!!!
[14:34] Manny: that's why I don't watch the game anymore
[14:34] Manny: lost faith in baseball
[14:34] Alan: but he says it was something his doctor gave him and neither him nor his doctor knew it violated the drug policy
[14:34] Manny: yeah Ok
[14:34] Alan: (and it wasn't confirmed to NOT BE steroids)
[14:34] Manny: like the rest of them
[14:34] Alan: i know... makes the average fan very cynical
[14:34] Alan: it's too bad but good that it's happening...
[14:34] Alan: in about 10 years there will be more confidence in the players as being more "natural" athletes
[14:34] Manny: im done with baseball
[14:34] Manny: long time i have my gloves in the attic
[14:34] Manny: inside a bag inside another bag
[14:35] Alan: haha!
[14:35] Alan: damn man!
[14:35] Manny: in another 10 years there will be another way to cheat the game that's untraceable
[14:36] Alan: that may be true but for as long as there has been sports (of any kind) there has been someone looking to find the one thing that would give them the competitive advantage
[14:36] Manny: credibility is down the toilet - i followed the game but I wont waste my time anymore
[14:36] Alan: nothing new in mankind's history
[14:36] Alan: will you abandon all sports because of this?
[14:37] Manny: credibility - I follow something to be true if it's not true then why follow
[14:37] Manny: it becomes a fictitious game
[14:38] Alan: so my question again is, will you give up on all sports?
[14:38] Alan: b/c they're really all the same no matter what era you talk about
[14:38] Manny: if they are not true yes
[14:38] Manny: i will - then just believe in my game and what I'm capable of
[14:38] Alan: I'm telling you there is no sport immune to the effects of mankind wanting to make themselves just a little better than the rest
[14:38] Alan: the issue is have they been caught or not
[14:40] Alan: the only game you can truly rely on and have 100% confidence in is your own
[14:40] Manny: just like the others - every single big player has something
[14:40] Manny: proven!
[14:42] Alan: true
[14:42] Manny: is like going to school to become a janitor@
[14:42] Alan: but big players and small alike are not immune to trying to find an edge somehow
[14:42] Alan: why don't we get upset at the scrubs that get caught but give up on baseball when manny and a-rod get caught?
[14:43] Manny: if you are a big player you don't need to try anything because you are already BIG
[14:44] Alan: HAHA.... ok so this argument only applies to players you like?
[14:44] Manny: A-Rod is a different case - didn't like the guy from the get go! So I don't care about him
[14:44] Manny: never did - has too much ego going on - But Manny? cmon ? is there a true player out there?
[14:44] Alan: lol... good to know
[14:44] Manny: nooo actually
[14:45] Manny: to all players
[14:45] Alan: i never liked a-rod but i respected his talent
[14:45] Alan: manny i liked and respected (even if he was a bit of a character)
[14:45] Alan: i mean let's be honest... the Rome that baseball built after the players strike in '93 is finally burning
[14:45] Manny: I always thought bout A-Rod using steroids
[14:46] Manny: just like McGuire and Sosa
[14:46] Alan: you know what? i actually NEVER did... i thought alex was clean from the beginning... so it upset me to learn he used steroids
[14:46] Manny: and Bond c'mon? Barry !
[14:47] Manny: my question is : What percentage of players you think are dirty?
[14:49] Alan: oh man... define dirty? do you mean based on what is tested for now? or anyone trying to find an edge?
[14:50] Manny: anything that gives you an edge is unfair to the game
[14:50] Manny: therefore dirty
[14:51] Manny: if you use anything on a test that helps you pass that test is consider cheating
[14:51] Manny: unless specified by rules - disclaimer
[14:51] Alan: ok... then i'll say this... other than mechanical adjustments and studying your opponent's behaviors, patterns, etc, focusing simply on injecting, ingesting, or in any way consuming some drug to help your game....
[14:52] Alan: i'd say it is more likely that batters would be dirty than pitchers
[14:52] Manny: watching the game is just like studying for a test so that's fair
[14:53] Alan: pitchers make up approx 33% of MLB rosters so looking only at batters... from the bench players to the stars.... i'd be willing to be roughly half of the batters are "dirty" which would mean about 1/3 of MLB is dirty
[14:53] Manny: injecting, ingesting or any mechanical help is dirty
[14:53] Alan: but i don't think it's more than that
[14:53] Alan: by mechanical i meant body mechanics (adjustments to body motions to be more efficient, etc)
[14:54] Alan: not like cyborg attachments, etc... lol
[14:54] Manny: that's adapting yourself to a movement to improve so that's studying
[14:54] Alan: right...
[14:54] Manny: corked bats falls under mechanical help
[14:55] Manny: bats LOOOL
[14:55] Alan: yes!!!
[14:55] Alan: ugh... i HATE that more than anything else...
[14:55] Manny: yeah that's f-up
[14:55] Alan: they should have one type of wood... and the ONLY difference would be weight/length....
[14:55] Manny: grease balls
[14:55] Manny: that's the worse
[14:56] Manny: or mechanical helps
[14:58] Manny: if I want an unrealistic game - just like the game of baseball we see everyday - then I would just turn my PS3 on and play any MLB game - at the end of the day I know for a fact that the players are going to be the same !
[14:59] Alan: lol... good point...
[14:59] Manny: and not even that -
[14:59] Alan: but you know what? why should we abandon the game when we have players that ARE out there playing the game the "right way"
[14:59] Alan: it's not fair to those players who ARE clean
[14:59] Manny: what makes you think they are playing the right way?
[15:05] Alan: the right way meaning the clean ones...
[15:05] Manny: credibility is an unknown word for the sport of baseball - I guess I go back to playing video games and spending my $50 baseball ticket money on something else
[15:05] Alan: they worked their way up to the majors with hard work, dedication, and love for the game
[15:05] Alan: and now they have to pay for the sins of the cheaters
[15:06] Manny: isn't that what happened when Adam and Eve?
[15:06] Alan: HAHA!
[15:06] Manny: not to be religious or anything
[15:07] Alan: no not at all... i understand
[15:08] Alan: but it's a fair point...
On an added note, I don't feel that Manny should be allowed to play in the All Star Game primarily because he was suspended for "cheating". MLB can always justify the decision to freeze him out of the big game by saying he didn't play that many games in the first part of the season to warrant being selected over other players who did play the majority of games this season.
Until next time, faithful reader......
Thursday, June 18, 2009
A Peek Inside My Soul (or Opening Up Some More)
"In a world full of everything, there are still days where I feel I have nothing." - my tweet from Jun 17, 2009 @ 4:43PM
I hate to admit it but I'm starting to think this rainy weather has begun to take it's toll on me. I've been really moody lately and hadn't been able to put my finger on what was causing it. Little insignificant things have set me off. I've gotten angry really easily lately. I've gotten extremely ecstatic very quickly. I've also become quite melancholy at the drop of a dime. I am trying hard to keep my emotions in check but for this past week it has been a challenge at times. Maybe some sun will do me some good. Thankfully, my workouts have helped a little over the past few days.
I've been known to sometimes wear my heart on my sleeve. I have slowly realized, over the years, that it is mainly because I don't know how to let my emotions out verbally. I often find myself tongue tied and don't know how to express myself. Some people have told me it's as simple as saying 'X', 'Y', and 'Z', but it isn't. Not for me, anyway.
If we ever share a moment where I express any gratitude, show appreciation for something you did or said, or I'm in the unfortunate circumstance to tell you how sorry I am for your loss... understand that it is one of the most difficult things for me to do. I find it hard to find the right words to convey the message I have deep inside. The feeling is there but the words aren't always.
This blog of mine helps me get over this character flaw a little. There are no faces looking back at me. Although, I will see some of you in person, I feel like I can get away with saying some things here that I may not be able (or have the nerve) to say in person - whether it is meant for you directly or not.
Nevertheless, there are still some things that I will keep close to the vest. Things that are either too personal to share or that will violate someone else's privacy. I try hard to keep the focus on me in this blog. This is not out of some sense of narcissism. I just feel like the only person I can really sound off on, or open up about, with reckless abandon is myself.
I even have some blog entries that I have written than remain unpublished. These entries will stay unpublished for the immediate future. Posting them would be inappropriate until I actually talk to the individual(s) that the posts are about. Only then will I know whether it's ok to publish it for all the world to see, or not. Also, some of my unpublished entries were written as a form of catharsis. Writing about that experience/feeling/moment was simply an exercise in letting things out. Those entries are meant for my eyes only... for now. ;)
Now that I've gotten THAT off my chest...
At this time next week, I will be having fun under the bright lights of Las Vegas!!
I'm super excited and am looking forward to this trip! Not just because it gets me out of NYC (and this dreary weather) but it's one of the places I have been wanting to visit (did I remember to put that on my "to do list" blog entry a few months ago?). I always figured one day I would have the balls to actually enter into one of the WSOP tournaments and that would be at the heart of my Vegas trip. Now, it's all about leisure!
Preliminary plans include seeing Blue Man Group, dinner (and partying) at Tao, and getting a tan. Vegas weather forecasts for next week show sunny skies with highs in the low 100's and nighttime temps in the low 80's. It's a lot hotter than I would like but it's not going to keep me from enjoying myself.
If any of you have been there before and have any advice, suggestions, tips, etc. for things to do, places to see, etc., please comment.
I hope to get one more entry in before I leave for Vegas.
Until next time, faithful reader......
I hate to admit it but I'm starting to think this rainy weather has begun to take it's toll on me. I've been really moody lately and hadn't been able to put my finger on what was causing it. Little insignificant things have set me off. I've gotten angry really easily lately. I've gotten extremely ecstatic very quickly. I've also become quite melancholy at the drop of a dime. I am trying hard to keep my emotions in check but for this past week it has been a challenge at times. Maybe some sun will do me some good. Thankfully, my workouts have helped a little over the past few days.
I've been known to sometimes wear my heart on my sleeve. I have slowly realized, over the years, that it is mainly because I don't know how to let my emotions out verbally. I often find myself tongue tied and don't know how to express myself. Some people have told me it's as simple as saying 'X', 'Y', and 'Z', but it isn't. Not for me, anyway.
If we ever share a moment where I express any gratitude, show appreciation for something you did or said, or I'm in the unfortunate circumstance to tell you how sorry I am for your loss... understand that it is one of the most difficult things for me to do. I find it hard to find the right words to convey the message I have deep inside. The feeling is there but the words aren't always.
This blog of mine helps me get over this character flaw a little. There are no faces looking back at me. Although, I will see some of you in person, I feel like I can get away with saying some things here that I may not be able (or have the nerve) to say in person - whether it is meant for you directly or not.
Nevertheless, there are still some things that I will keep close to the vest. Things that are either too personal to share or that will violate someone else's privacy. I try hard to keep the focus on me in this blog. This is not out of some sense of narcissism. I just feel like the only person I can really sound off on, or open up about, with reckless abandon is myself.
I even have some blog entries that I have written than remain unpublished. These entries will stay unpublished for the immediate future. Posting them would be inappropriate until I actually talk to the individual(s) that the posts are about. Only then will I know whether it's ok to publish it for all the world to see, or not. Also, some of my unpublished entries were written as a form of catharsis. Writing about that experience/feeling/moment was simply an exercise in letting things out. Those entries are meant for my eyes only... for now. ;)
Now that I've gotten THAT off my chest...
At this time next week, I will be having fun under the bright lights of Las Vegas!!
I'm super excited and am looking forward to this trip! Not just because it gets me out of NYC (and this dreary weather) but it's one of the places I have been wanting to visit (did I remember to put that on my "to do list" blog entry a few months ago?). I always figured one day I would have the balls to actually enter into one of the WSOP tournaments and that would be at the heart of my Vegas trip. Now, it's all about leisure!
Preliminary plans include seeing Blue Man Group, dinner (and partying) at Tao, and getting a tan. Vegas weather forecasts for next week show sunny skies with highs in the low 100's and nighttime temps in the low 80's. It's a lot hotter than I would like but it's not going to keep me from enjoying myself.
If any of you have been there before and have any advice, suggestions, tips, etc. for things to do, places to see, etc., please comment.
I hope to get one more entry in before I leave for Vegas.
Until next time, faithful reader......
Monday, March 23, 2009
Unexpected Motivation
I've plateaued at 198 lbs, y'all. I've been stuck at that weight (approximately) for over a month now. I figure my body has gotten accustomed to my training and I need to make a change in my routine.
Sunday morning, I was going to play soccer at 8AM - which I hope will become a weekly ritual and will be a great way to shake my body up a little. Sadly, I forgot to set my alarm after getting home Saturday night just before 2AM (early for some, late for others). I overslept and didn't make it to the field in time to actually play but I got to check out the surface (astroturf... that'll be a first), scout some of the better players (as a defender, I would like to see who I'm up against... I can take these guys), and got a sense of their style of play. I was introduced to some of the players and they know to expect me next week. Should be fun!
I may also have the opportunity to play 'enforcer' once in a while. This should be fun as well and would allow me to release some pent up aggression. I pity the first man to earn my wrath on the pitch - and I DO mean 'earn'. I don't lash out at fellow players simply for the sake of it. We're not professionals and we're not getting paid so I'm not looking to hurt anyone. Yet I'm not against policing players on the field, especially when they get overly aggressive with my teammates.
Last night, while hanging out with some old friends, plans were also set to play handball in the afternoon today. I had decided I would play soccer in the morning and handball afterwards. When I left my friends last night, I mentioned that I was playing soccer early so I needed to sleep a little. After all, I'm not in my 20's any more... haha.
Turns out my friends were 'concerned' about me playing soccer and handball. They reasoned that since that is something they can't do now at their age - since they feel they are fitter than I am - that for me to try the 'doubleheader' would be ridiculous. I was offended when I found out about this and now have added motivation to push myself even harder, both in preparation for the High Rock Challenge in April and for my continued fitness goals. I'm so insulted that I'm upset that they judged my determination and how DARE they question my dedication.
I am certain I will be insanely sore after next Sunday. The aches and pains are worst after the first time. But the body adapts and I know I will get accustomed to that level of physical exertion. I am also sure that there will be a weekend or two where I will pass on one or both of the sports to take a break during on some random Sunday. But I'll be damned if I sit here and let these friends of mine question whether I can do this!!
You know what drives me?
- At my age, things are pretty much going downhill. I'm even more convinced of the accuracy of the old saying "Youth is wasted on the young." This is because many things are taken for granted by young people, especially when it comes to the body. Once the body starts to slow down, there are two options available to you: (1) accept it or (2) balance it the negative effects of aging with added physical activity.
- The need to be healthier. This is where my diet comes into play. I don't eat as badly as I did in the past. I've eliminated many eating bad habits (overeating at meals, emotional eating, 'blind' snacking), I snack less often, when I snack I eat smarter, and I eat a more balanced diet. I, by no means, follow the plan perfectly 100% of the time but I make a conscious effort to eat well whenever I can.
- Finally, when my weight first reached 200 lbs. I was stunned. I was weight training hard at the time and simply attributed it to the muscle mass I may have gained during my training. I can't say for sure whether it was true or not but I know that it was nearly 10 years ago that I hit that milestone and it wasn't until recently that I dropped below 200. I don't ever want to be 200+ again. Simple as that.
Until next time, faithful reader.....
Sunday morning, I was going to play soccer at 8AM - which I hope will become a weekly ritual and will be a great way to shake my body up a little. Sadly, I forgot to set my alarm after getting home Saturday night just before 2AM (early for some, late for others). I overslept and didn't make it to the field in time to actually play but I got to check out the surface (astroturf... that'll be a first), scout some of the better players (as a defender, I would like to see who I'm up against... I can take these guys), and got a sense of their style of play. I was introduced to some of the players and they know to expect me next week. Should be fun!
I may also have the opportunity to play 'enforcer' once in a while. This should be fun as well and would allow me to release some pent up aggression. I pity the first man to earn my wrath on the pitch - and I DO mean 'earn'. I don't lash out at fellow players simply for the sake of it. We're not professionals and we're not getting paid so I'm not looking to hurt anyone. Yet I'm not against policing players on the field, especially when they get overly aggressive with my teammates.
Last night, while hanging out with some old friends, plans were also set to play handball in the afternoon today. I had decided I would play soccer in the morning and handball afterwards. When I left my friends last night, I mentioned that I was playing soccer early so I needed to sleep a little. After all, I'm not in my 20's any more... haha.
Turns out my friends were 'concerned' about me playing soccer and handball. They reasoned that since that is something they can't do now at their age - since they feel they are fitter than I am - that for me to try the 'doubleheader' would be ridiculous. I was offended when I found out about this and now have added motivation to push myself even harder, both in preparation for the High Rock Challenge in April and for my continued fitness goals. I'm so insulted that I'm upset that they judged my determination and how DARE they question my dedication.
I am certain I will be insanely sore after next Sunday. The aches and pains are worst after the first time. But the body adapts and I know I will get accustomed to that level of physical exertion. I am also sure that there will be a weekend or two where I will pass on one or both of the sports to take a break during on some random Sunday. But I'll be damned if I sit here and let these friends of mine question whether I can do this!!
You know what drives me?
- At my age, things are pretty much going downhill. I'm even more convinced of the accuracy of the old saying "Youth is wasted on the young." This is because many things are taken for granted by young people, especially when it comes to the body. Once the body starts to slow down, there are two options available to you: (1) accept it or (2) balance it the negative effects of aging with added physical activity.
- The need to be healthier. This is where my diet comes into play. I don't eat as badly as I did in the past. I've eliminated many eating bad habits (overeating at meals, emotional eating, 'blind' snacking), I snack less often, when I snack I eat smarter, and I eat a more balanced diet. I, by no means, follow the plan perfectly 100% of the time but I make a conscious effort to eat well whenever I can.
- Finally, when my weight first reached 200 lbs. I was stunned. I was weight training hard at the time and simply attributed it to the muscle mass I may have gained during my training. I can't say for sure whether it was true or not but I know that it was nearly 10 years ago that I hit that milestone and it wasn't until recently that I dropped below 200. I don't ever want to be 200+ again. Simple as that.
Until next time, faithful reader.....
Saturday, February 7, 2009
Close Call
I write to you now while agitated and still on edge from what just happened to me. I suspect parts of this story may seem incoherent or unclear. But I need to get this story off my chest and I don't plan to edit it once I'm done. Tonight was the first time I have ever felt as if my fate was not in my own hands when driving my car. It is a scary feeling.
Typically, I try hard to be conscientious of those around me and try to anticipate the actions of others. Heck, my driving pet peeves list is based on behaviors that I have trouble understanding. Then, there are the few times where you are in a situation that is unavoidable no matter how many contingency plans you may have in place, no matter how much you "anticipate" the actions of other, and regardless of how "careful" you are as a driver. Tonight, I experienced one of those moments.
I went out to dinner with a few friends and, for the most part, had a good time (the company was good but it didn't make up for the terrible food). It didn't take long for me to get home but parking, apparently, was an ordeal. It was taking me longer to find a parking spot than it did to actually get to the neighborhood!
I went around my usual spots to no avail. I decided to go back to one of my old stand-by's from when I first moved to the neighborhood. On the way to that side street, I came across an intersection that I cross practically every time I'm driving. Though I am always on the street with the stop sign, tonight I was on the cross street that doesn't require you to stop.
My gut reaction was to come to a full stop. The cynic in me feels it is necessary to say that it could also have been my familiarity with the intersection that caused me to stop. I stopped at the intersection despite: not having a stop sign to have to stop on; there being NO sign of a car coming on the cross street; and the clear violation of one of my own pet peeves (though there was no one around me to prove I did it). When I realized what I had done, I figured I could use that chance to look around for a parking spot but there was none in sight so I moved on to the area where I used to park.
One of these streets is a one way road that is parallel to train tracks (not MTA). On this road, there is a curve that redirects traffic back to the grid where my residence is. Typically, as I approached the curve, I tend to coast into the curve and begin accelerating halfway through it. Tonight, however, I approached it at a much more "casual" speed than I'm used to driving at and didn't even consider accelerating as I entered it. I am now grateful for this change in routine because for some inexplicable reason there was a car coming in the opposite direction along this one way street. We both came to an abrupt stop and came within a few inches of hitting each other. If it was a parking spot, even the skinniest of my friends would have had trouble walking between our cars.
My heart was in my throat and I could feel it pounding harder than it ever has in my adult life. I felt my blood rushing through every vein and artery in my body as the other car began the slow retreat in reverse up the street to give me room to pass. I took several deep breaths - it was all my body would allow me to take - and closed my eyes. At that moment, I decided to not let my anger take a hold of me. I was grateful for the fortuitous turn of events and would simply drive past the fool that nearly changed my life (to varying degrees, of course, but I'll leave that up to your interpretation). As I passed the car, I didn't look at the driver. I didn't want to have a reason to hate someone with the intense passion that I knew I would be feeling later.
I drove past the curve and did not find a spot to park in which made me resentful for even going to that area to begin with. I drove around the neighborhood for a few minutes more before finding a space several blocks further than I'm used to parking around. My nerves were still rattled but I was beginning to calm down.
I walk up the sloped street on the way to my house. On this street, the sidewalks are slippery - due to irresponsible neighbors - making them fairly treacherous to walk on. Pedestrians have the option of taking their chances walking through that (might I remind you, on an incline) or walking in the street. I chose to walk on the street. Just mere moments after I set foot on the cold asphalt, a car turns onto the street from the top of the slope and approaches me slowly. I immediately recognized the car! It was the same one that almost hit me just a few minutes prior!
As the car comes to a stop next to me, several thoughts race through my head: maybe the driver wants to apologize for being a complete asshole; maybe it's the exact opposite and he wants to give ME shit for nearly crashing into HIM; or maybe the guy is having trouble finding an address (considering there is a 60th Road, 60th Avenue, and 60th Place in the immediate area, I can imagine someone being easily confused). As he rolls down his window, it becomes instantly clear to me that he doesn't know me from Adam and he proceeds to ask me how to get to a street that he is NOWHERE nearby! This was a slight relief as I wasn't in mood for his shit but I also was repressing a lot of anger and just wanted to ask him what the fuck he was thinking back there on the curve. I gave him very general directions since I feared any additional use of my voice would result in me reading him the riot act and I wasn't really eager to start a fight (verbal or otherwise) when all I wanted to do was get home. The man thanks me and drives off in his POS car as I continue up the 'hill'.
My hands weren't quite as shaky as they were when I parked but I still felt my blood coursing through my body and my breathing had only steadied slightly. I decided to update my facebook status to reflect my mood: "Alan is grateful for his instincts and, on nights like tonight, believes there are spirits watching over him". As a believer of the occult, I truly feel fortunate and these occasions make me think again about the existence of entities in realms/dimensions/planes of existence other than our own. I'm thankful I have the opportunity to vent about a close call and not recalling a story of how my car needed to be repaired (or worse yet, me needing to be repaired).
It also brought to light many things that I've taken for granted. I hope to not put myself in a position where I may live to regret my actions (or inaction) should something more serious and devastating ever happen to me in the future.
Until next time, faithful reader... (there will be a next time)
UPDATE: For those of you who are curious to see the intersection in question:
View Larger Map
Typically, I try hard to be conscientious of those around me and try to anticipate the actions of others. Heck, my driving pet peeves list is based on behaviors that I have trouble understanding. Then, there are the few times where you are in a situation that is unavoidable no matter how many contingency plans you may have in place, no matter how much you "anticipate" the actions of other, and regardless of how "careful" you are as a driver. Tonight, I experienced one of those moments.
I went out to dinner with a few friends and, for the most part, had a good time (the company was good but it didn't make up for the terrible food). It didn't take long for me to get home but parking, apparently, was an ordeal. It was taking me longer to find a parking spot than it did to actually get to the neighborhood!
I went around my usual spots to no avail. I decided to go back to one of my old stand-by's from when I first moved to the neighborhood. On the way to that side street, I came across an intersection that I cross practically every time I'm driving. Though I am always on the street with the stop sign, tonight I was on the cross street that doesn't require you to stop.
My gut reaction was to come to a full stop. The cynic in me feels it is necessary to say that it could also have been my familiarity with the intersection that caused me to stop. I stopped at the intersection despite: not having a stop sign to have to stop on; there being NO sign of a car coming on the cross street; and the clear violation of one of my own pet peeves (though there was no one around me to prove I did it). When I realized what I had done, I figured I could use that chance to look around for a parking spot but there was none in sight so I moved on to the area where I used to park.
One of these streets is a one way road that is parallel to train tracks (not MTA). On this road, there is a curve that redirects traffic back to the grid where my residence is. Typically, as I approached the curve, I tend to coast into the curve and begin accelerating halfway through it. Tonight, however, I approached it at a much more "casual" speed than I'm used to driving at and didn't even consider accelerating as I entered it. I am now grateful for this change in routine because for some inexplicable reason there was a car coming in the opposite direction along this one way street. We both came to an abrupt stop and came within a few inches of hitting each other. If it was a parking spot, even the skinniest of my friends would have had trouble walking between our cars.
My heart was in my throat and I could feel it pounding harder than it ever has in my adult life. I felt my blood rushing through every vein and artery in my body as the other car began the slow retreat in reverse up the street to give me room to pass. I took several deep breaths - it was all my body would allow me to take - and closed my eyes. At that moment, I decided to not let my anger take a hold of me. I was grateful for the fortuitous turn of events and would simply drive past the fool that nearly changed my life (to varying degrees, of course, but I'll leave that up to your interpretation). As I passed the car, I didn't look at the driver. I didn't want to have a reason to hate someone with the intense passion that I knew I would be feeling later.
I drove past the curve and did not find a spot to park in which made me resentful for even going to that area to begin with. I drove around the neighborhood for a few minutes more before finding a space several blocks further than I'm used to parking around. My nerves were still rattled but I was beginning to calm down.
I walk up the sloped street on the way to my house. On this street, the sidewalks are slippery - due to irresponsible neighbors - making them fairly treacherous to walk on. Pedestrians have the option of taking their chances walking through that (might I remind you, on an incline) or walking in the street. I chose to walk on the street. Just mere moments after I set foot on the cold asphalt, a car turns onto the street from the top of the slope and approaches me slowly. I immediately recognized the car! It was the same one that almost hit me just a few minutes prior!
As the car comes to a stop next to me, several thoughts race through my head: maybe the driver wants to apologize for being a complete asshole; maybe it's the exact opposite and he wants to give ME shit for nearly crashing into HIM; or maybe the guy is having trouble finding an address (considering there is a 60th Road, 60th Avenue, and 60th Place in the immediate area, I can imagine someone being easily confused). As he rolls down his window, it becomes instantly clear to me that he doesn't know me from Adam and he proceeds to ask me how to get to a street that he is NOWHERE nearby! This was a slight relief as I wasn't in mood for his shit but I also was repressing a lot of anger and just wanted to ask him what the fuck he was thinking back there on the curve. I gave him very general directions since I feared any additional use of my voice would result in me reading him the riot act and I wasn't really eager to start a fight (verbal or otherwise) when all I wanted to do was get home. The man thanks me and drives off in his POS car as I continue up the 'hill'.
My hands weren't quite as shaky as they were when I parked but I still felt my blood coursing through my body and my breathing had only steadied slightly. I decided to update my facebook status to reflect my mood: "Alan is grateful for his instincts and, on nights like tonight, believes there are spirits watching over him". As a believer of the occult, I truly feel fortunate and these occasions make me think again about the existence of entities in realms/dimensions/planes of existence other than our own. I'm thankful I have the opportunity to vent about a close call and not recalling a story of how my car needed to be repaired (or worse yet, me needing to be repaired).
It also brought to light many things that I've taken for granted. I hope to not put myself in a position where I may live to regret my actions (or inaction) should something more serious and devastating ever happen to me in the future.
Until next time, faithful reader... (there will be a next time)
UPDATE: For those of you who are curious to see the intersection in question:
View Larger Map
Thursday, January 8, 2009
Playlist # 6 (Freestyle Follow-up) + Driving Pet Peeves (the short list)
Hello there,
I've gotten bit by the "list" bug... so for today's entry I'm offering you the follow-up to my Ultimate Freestyle Playlist and a few selections from my list of Driving Pet Peeves.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I took you back with the original list of Freestyle songs... this one revisits some of the freestyle songs we all vibed to when they were out. These artists didn't stay on the scene long and essentially these songs were their only hits. Some you may know by song title, some you may know by artist (but I doubt it), but they're all freestyle hits...
This is Playlist #6.
These are your Freestyle One Hit Wonders:
Dzyre - Forever Amor
Laissez Faire - In Paradise
Linear - Sending All My Love
Taana Gardner - Heartbeat
Jaya (featuring Stevie B.) - If You Leave Me Now
Jellybean (featuring India) - Dancing on the Fire
Nyasia - Who's Got Your Love
Shana - I Want You
Stacey Q - Two of Hearts
Denise Lopez - Sayin' Sorry Don't Make It Right
Information Society - Running
Amoretto - Clave Rocks
Hanson & Davis - Hungry For Your Love
Nocera - Summertime Summertime
Company B - Fascinated
Pretty Poison - Catch Me I'm Fallin'
Seduction - Two To Make It Right
Rockell - In A Dream
Jocelyn Enriquez - Do You Miss Me?
Lina Santiago - Feels So Good
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I know there are many MANY M-A-N-Y that set me off when I'm on the road. Stupid behavior, bad decision making, and general idiocy make up the list of my pet peeves. I will not list them all here but I will pick off items from my list and post them as I see them. There is no ranking or order importance to them so don't over-analyze and misinterpret the #'s of the pet peeves.
My Driving Pet Peeves
#1 - Seeing anyone on the road that validates my Three Group Theory! Just the fear of being around bad driving behavior gets me on edge with these folks. (Granted any of these other behaviors may - and typically - are exhibited by drivers in this category)
#27 - Signal blinking but not changing lanes or turning anywhere!! Seriously?? You don't hear the click-click-click-click inside your vehicle? Either put down the phone or turn down your music because you're being a real douche to the rest of us out there behind you!!
#18 - I certainly cannot and should not expect others to speed (as soon as I pass you, I will. You can count on it!) but can we at least COME CLOSE TO THE FREAKING speed limit when driving on local roads!! WTF is up with driving straight down a street at 18mph in a 30mph zone!!! I'd get it if you were turning at the next intersection but if not... move aside, grandma! You're keeping us from our destinations over here!!
#9 - Drivers who cut you off so that you can't pass them... only to see said vehicle passed by about a dozen cars that were behind you!!
#11 - Hiccup drivers. You know who they are. They hesitate and drive as if their car was hiccuping. Are they going to take advantage of the space I'm giving them on the highway so they can change into my lane? (e.g. There they go... oh no... false alarm. Let me speed up then and let them get behind me... WTF... you almost hit me you crazy hippie!!! Oh sorry... little old Asian lady!! Watch where you're going!)
#6 - Drivers that cannot stay in their God-forsaken, mother-f***king lane!!! The lines really are there for a reason!!! Pick a freaking lane!! (Sometimes these folks are also guilty of #9)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
*sigh* OK. I feel better now.
Thanks for stopping by again. I appreciate you taking the time to visit my little digital hole in the wall.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Until next time, faithful reader.......
I've gotten bit by the "list" bug... so for today's entry I'm offering you the follow-up to my Ultimate Freestyle Playlist and a few selections from my list of Driving Pet Peeves.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I took you back with the original list of Freestyle songs... this one revisits some of the freestyle songs we all vibed to when they were out. These artists didn't stay on the scene long and essentially these songs were their only hits. Some you may know by song title, some you may know by artist (but I doubt it), but they're all freestyle hits...
This is Playlist #6.
These are your Freestyle One Hit Wonders:
Dzyre - Forever Amor
Laissez Faire - In Paradise
Linear - Sending All My Love
Taana Gardner - Heartbeat
Jaya (featuring Stevie B.) - If You Leave Me Now
Jellybean (featuring India) - Dancing on the Fire
Nyasia - Who's Got Your Love
Shana - I Want You
Stacey Q - Two of Hearts
Denise Lopez - Sayin' Sorry Don't Make It Right
Information Society - Running
Amoretto - Clave Rocks
Hanson & Davis - Hungry For Your Love
Nocera - Summertime Summertime
Company B - Fascinated
Pretty Poison - Catch Me I'm Fallin'
Seduction - Two To Make It Right
Rockell - In A Dream
Jocelyn Enriquez - Do You Miss Me?
Lina Santiago - Feels So Good
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I know there are many MANY M-A-N-Y that set me off when I'm on the road. Stupid behavior, bad decision making, and general idiocy make up the list of my pet peeves. I will not list them all here but I will pick off items from my list and post them as I see them. There is no ranking or order importance to them so don't over-analyze and misinterpret the #'s of the pet peeves.
My Driving Pet Peeves
#1 - Seeing anyone on the road that validates my Three Group Theory! Just the fear of being around bad driving behavior gets me on edge with these folks. (Granted any of these other behaviors may - and typically - are exhibited by drivers in this category)
#27 - Signal blinking but not changing lanes or turning anywhere!! Seriously?? You don't hear the click-click-click-click inside your vehicle? Either put down the phone or turn down your music because you're being a real douche to the rest of us out there behind you!!
#18 - I certainly cannot and should not expect others to speed (as soon as I pass you, I will. You can count on it!) but can we at least COME CLOSE TO THE FREAKING speed limit when driving on local roads!! WTF is up with driving straight down a street at 18mph in a 30mph zone!!! I'd get it if you were turning at the next intersection but if not... move aside, grandma! You're keeping us from our destinations over here!!
#9 - Drivers who cut you off so that you can't pass them... only to see said vehicle passed by about a dozen cars that were behind you!!
#11 - Hiccup drivers. You know who they are. They hesitate and drive as if their car was hiccuping. Are they going to take advantage of the space I'm giving them on the highway so they can change into my lane? (e.g. There they go... oh no... false alarm. Let me speed up then and let them get behind me... WTF... you almost hit me you crazy hippie!!! Oh sorry... little old Asian lady!! Watch where you're going!)
#6 - Drivers that cannot stay in their God-forsaken, mother-f***king lane!!! The lines really are there for a reason!!! Pick a freaking lane!! (Sometimes these folks are also guilty of #9)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
*sigh* OK. I feel better now.
Thanks for stopping by again. I appreciate you taking the time to visit my little digital hole in the wall.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Until next time, faithful reader.......
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
I shaved my beard and WTF!...
Hello once again as I usher you through the inner workings of my scrambled brain.
I've had some people asking me about my beard lately. During finals week, when I was in college, I would get superstitious and once classes ended for the semester I would not shave until I took all my finals. But I'm not in school any more and for some odd reason I decided to grow my hair out a little (on the top of my head AND on my face)... for no legitimate reason. I didn't even know when I would end up shaving again.
I figured the timing was right for it to serve as an Evan Tanner tribute beard (oh, just Google it if you don't know who or what I'm talking about) but that wasn't it. Maybe I could use the election as my cover story. For a while I even vowed that if John McCain were to win, I would continue growing my hair - including facial hair - for 4 more years until the next presidential election. But the election came and went and I didn't shave. Eventually, I just got tired of it (as I often am when it comes to my facial hair). I find myself cycling through facial "looks": sporting the goatee, being clean shaven, growing the beard... and other variations in between (except the stand-alone mustache... looks funny on me).
So I shaved my beard. I took pictures of the carnage in my bathroom sink but decided to spare you all the details so there will be no posting of the evidence here. You'll just have to take my word for it. Lets just say if there was a "Locks of Love" for facial hair, I would have TOTALLY donated it... but it was just trashcan-bound.
But you know... all this talk of waste and useless things reminds me of something I've heard lately. It's gotten so deep under my skin... I can't keep it inside any more!!
Through all the political coverage for days after Election Day all I kept hearing was how Barack Obama's win was historically significant. I am not disagree with that (how can one dispute that??). What I am hating is the mangling of the English language in the process!!! This is a historic event in American history NOT "an historic" event. WTF is 'anistoric' anyway!?!??!! Anistoric isn't proper use of the article "a/an"!! Oh, I'm sorry... is this a new dialect of English? I didn't realize the 'h' in historic (or historical) was silent!!
I mean with the world wide inter-web nets available to us, can't an editor or assistant producer look up the grammar rules??? I was able to find 2 reputable resources after 35 seconds of searching online: (1) http://www.learnenglish.de/grammar/articlestext.htm and (2) http://owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/resource/540/01/
Folks, this misuse and blatant disregard of the English language is ridiculous. It also happens to be one of my many pet peeves. (For a wonderful list of other modernbutchering "modifications" of the English language, click here. Definitely worth a look.)
*sigh*
Sadly, that's all I have for you today but....
SPOILER ALERT:: Tomorrow's SPECIAL weekend entry will be a preview of UFC 91 (along with guest commentary and predictions) and why it matters EVEN to those of you who don't know - or care - about MMA.
I've had some people asking me about my beard lately. During finals week, when I was in college, I would get superstitious and once classes ended for the semester I would not shave until I took all my finals. But I'm not in school any more and for some odd reason I decided to grow my hair out a little (on the top of my head AND on my face)... for no legitimate reason. I didn't even know when I would end up shaving again.
I figured the timing was right for it to serve as an Evan Tanner tribute beard (oh, just Google it if you don't know who or what I'm talking about) but that wasn't it. Maybe I could use the election as my cover story. For a while I even vowed that if John McCain were to win, I would continue growing my hair - including facial hair - for 4 more years until the next presidential election. But the election came and went and I didn't shave. Eventually, I just got tired of it (as I often am when it comes to my facial hair). I find myself cycling through facial "looks": sporting the goatee, being clean shaven, growing the beard... and other variations in between (except the stand-alone mustache... looks funny on me).
So I shaved my beard. I took pictures of the carnage in my bathroom sink but decided to spare you all the details so there will be no posting of the evidence here. You'll just have to take my word for it. Lets just say if there was a "Locks of Love" for facial hair, I would have TOTALLY donated it... but it was just trashcan-bound.
But you know... all this talk of waste and useless things reminds me of something I've heard lately. It's gotten so deep under my skin... I can't keep it inside any more!!
Through all the political coverage for days after Election Day all I kept hearing was how Barack Obama's win was historically significant. I am not disagree with that (how can one dispute that??). What I am hating is the mangling of the English language in the process!!! This is a historic event in American history NOT "an historic" event. WTF is 'anistoric' anyway!?!??!! Anistoric isn't proper use of the article "a/an"!! Oh, I'm sorry... is this a new dialect of English? I didn't realize the 'h' in historic (or historical) was silent!!
I mean with the world wide inter-web nets available to us, can't an editor or assistant producer look up the grammar rules??? I was able to find 2 reputable resources after 35 seconds of searching online: (1) http://www.learnenglish.de/grammar/articlestext.htm and (2) http://owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/resource/540/01/
Folks, this misuse and blatant disregard of the English language is ridiculous. It also happens to be one of my many pet peeves. (For a wonderful list of other modern
*sigh*
Sadly, that's all I have for you today but....
SPOILER ALERT:: Tomorrow's SPECIAL weekend entry will be a preview of UFC 91 (along with guest commentary and predictions) and why it matters EVEN to those of you who don't know - or care - about MMA.
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