Hey there,
I'll start by saying that I am not a hoarder though I do have pack rat tendencies. This morning, I was going through a pile of papers that I've kept from my high school years. It was nice to purge my apartment of the excess clutter that had gone unchecked all these years. There were so many memories that came rushing back to me (soccer on the Quad, the prom, that odd year where I had 3 different Chem teachers b/c my original Chem teacher - what was his name again?? - broke his hip after falling off of a stool).
In that chaos of dusty papers and old notebooks, I found this poem. There is a chance it may be from junior high school but the silliness of it brought a smile to my face! Enjoy y'all!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Roses are red.
Violets are blue.
There's no chance in hell.
I'd go out with you.
Sugar is sweet.
Coal is black.
Do me a favor.
Go sit on a tack.
Snow is white.
Grass is green.
With you, in public,
I'd never be seen.
Flowers bloom.
The river flows.
What do you think I am?
One of your cheap hoes!?
Water is water.
Grass is grass.
Do me a favor
and wipe your ass.
You smell real bad.
You smell like shit.
Go take a bath.
You REALLY need it!
All in all,
what I have to say
is get a life
and have a nice day!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
[FYI, this was NOT written to me nor is it about me.]
=)
Hope you all go out and make the most of this Memorial Day weekend! And please take a moment this weekend to remember those folks who have served our country.
Until next time, faithful reader......
Showing posts with label random. Show all posts
Showing posts with label random. Show all posts
Saturday, May 28, 2011
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
My Light Bulb Moment (or Consider It a 2011 Resolution)
Welcome back!!
It's no coincidence that the time spent on this blog decreased dramatically when I started going out with my girlfriend last spring.
I found it hard to be open and honest on the blog while simultaneously trying to remain guarded and not open up "too soon" with her at the start of the relationship.
Why the sudden change now? Am I single?? No. No. It's nothing of the sort.
I just realized what this blog meant to me and my sanity. My mental health has taken a toll lately by keeping a lot of my "random" thoughts in my head. Purging my brian of these thoughts that have weighed heavy on my conscience has been cathartic. I've been depriving myself of the opportunity to be less stressed, less overwhelmed, and less helpless for the better part of 2010, which was a challenging year. I refuse to let that happen in 2011.
Those closest to me know that I am not one to open up or share my emotions/feelings very easily. That's what makes this blog rather unique. I don't really hold much back when writing here. There is something inherently impersonal in blogging that makes it easier to write whatever I feel without censoring the content. I do happen to know some of you that visit here, whether it's occassionally or immediately after every post. For the most part, I consider my "audience" to be anonymous. I admit there are times when I want to know EVERYONE that reads this blog. Nevertheless, I truly enjoy writing for the unknown readers (including the future me).
This time away has also forced me to accept something that is probably obvious to most folks. When in a relationship, you cannot force your significant other to like the person you want to be, or the person you try to be around them. They need to accept you for who you are. For better or worse, this blog is an extension of me and maybe even a bigger piece of who I am than I care to admit. After all, a lot of who I am is left in every entry of this blog.
I kept myself from writing much in 2010. That will change going forward. It's not as if I have anything to hide. ;)
For your continued readership and patience throughout 2010, I thank you.
For those of you new to RaUM, I hope you enjoy the sneak peeks into my life.
Until next time, faithful reader......
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Addendum (2 hours after posting):
For the record, those who know me well (and that is a very short list, folks) know that I don't share my emotions/feelings very well in the "real world". Blame it on my troubled childhood or poor social skills as a youth. Perhaps, it was never learning how to deal with rejection or never understanding how to accept that life can be fucked up sometimes.
That being said, I want to be clear that the issue with the gf and my blogging had to do with my perception of how she might (or might not) react to things I had to write about. I can be very self-conscious about what I post sometimes (believe it or not!) which can make me more sensitive to any potential feedback I might get from those close to me. I hope you didn't think I was using her as a scapegoat.
It's no coincidence that the time spent on this blog decreased dramatically when I started going out with my girlfriend last spring.
I found it hard to be open and honest on the blog while simultaneously trying to remain guarded and not open up "too soon" with her at the start of the relationship.
Why the sudden change now? Am I single?? No. No. It's nothing of the sort.
I just realized what this blog meant to me and my sanity. My mental health has taken a toll lately by keeping a lot of my "random" thoughts in my head. Purging my brian of these thoughts that have weighed heavy on my conscience has been cathartic. I've been depriving myself of the opportunity to be less stressed, less overwhelmed, and less helpless for the better part of 2010, which was a challenging year. I refuse to let that happen in 2011.
Those closest to me know that I am not one to open up or share my emotions/feelings very easily. That's what makes this blog rather unique. I don't really hold much back when writing here. There is something inherently impersonal in blogging that makes it easier to write whatever I feel without censoring the content. I do happen to know some of you that visit here, whether it's occassionally or immediately after every post. For the most part, I consider my "audience" to be anonymous. I admit there are times when I want to know EVERYONE that reads this blog. Nevertheless, I truly enjoy writing for the unknown readers (including the future me).
This time away has also forced me to accept something that is probably obvious to most folks. When in a relationship, you cannot force your significant other to like the person you want to be, or the person you try to be around them. They need to accept you for who you are. For better or worse, this blog is an extension of me and maybe even a bigger piece of who I am than I care to admit. After all, a lot of who I am is left in every entry of this blog.
I kept myself from writing much in 2010. That will change going forward. It's not as if I have anything to hide. ;)
For your continued readership and patience throughout 2010, I thank you.
For those of you new to RaUM, I hope you enjoy the sneak peeks into my life.
Until next time, faithful reader......
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Addendum (2 hours after posting):
For the record, those who know me well (and that is a very short list, folks) know that I don't share my emotions/feelings very well in the "real world". Blame it on my troubled childhood or poor social skills as a youth. Perhaps, it was never learning how to deal with rejection or never understanding how to accept that life can be fucked up sometimes.
That being said, I want to be clear that the issue with the gf and my blogging had to do with my perception of how she might (or might not) react to things I had to write about. I can be very self-conscious about what I post sometimes (believe it or not!) which can make me more sensitive to any potential feedback I might get from those close to me. I hope you didn't think I was using her as a scapegoat.
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
English Language Miscues (or Another Pet Peeve Unveiled)
My nerves are severely frayed and I can sense all of the muscles in my body tense up as I think about what I'm going to write now...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(1) "Humbleness":
Have you ever heard someone speak a word and do a mental double take? You can make sense of what they said after quickly (or not so quickly) deciphering the mangled portion of what they uttered.
We get what they're trying to say. Sadly, we accept these mispronunciations and move on. After all, our own über-important lives are filled with serious concerns. Why should we bother bruising someone's ego and correct them when we have bigger fish to fry? Am I right?
A word already exists for what you're trying to say here, champ: 'humility'! <For some strange reason, right after I typed it, I read the word as humidity and giggled for a bit.> You cannot take any adjective and add the suffix '-ness' to the end of it and think everything is OK. It's as bad as those folks who think they can convert any English word to Spanish by adding an '-o' at the end. It doesn't work! Understand-o?
If you don't believe me, why not tell me how stupid 'strongness' sounds to you? Perhaps 'teachableness' suits your limited English language needs?
I rest my case.
[Side note: To be fair, I know the word 'humbleness' does actually exist but it isn't commonly used. After all, we do use the word humility more than humbleness. Keep up with modern society, please.]
(2) "At the end of the day, ...":
Ahhhh yes. The hot new saying that everyone seems to be using. It's one of the most overused phrases I have heard in a long time! (It's only rivaled nowadays by 'epic', IMO.) When a person starts every other statement with this phrase, my brain goes to two places (depending on my mood): either the person has nothing of value to share and is trying to sound more interesting or the person genuinely believes the BS that's coming out of their mouths which makes me wonder what the end of their days are like. Well, not really. At the end of the day, they're not that interesting to begin with.
Damn it!!! It's contagious!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
OKOKOKOKOKOK....
I'll stop venting now. Do you have any other words or sayings that rub you the wrong way? Do share below in the comments section!!
I hope to hear from you.
Until next time, faithful reader......
P.S. On second thought, those people that add an 'o' to the end of English words are worse. Instead of trying to learn the proper word, they decide that Spanish isn't important enough to make an effort for. In fact, they're devaluing the language and, by proxy and perhaps unintentionally, insulting an entire culture.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(1) "Humbleness":
Have you ever heard someone speak a word and do a mental double take? You can make sense of what they said after quickly (or not so quickly) deciphering the mangled portion of what they uttered.
We get what they're trying to say. Sadly, we accept these mispronunciations and move on. After all, our own über-important lives are filled with serious concerns. Why should we bother bruising someone's ego and correct them when we have bigger fish to fry? Am I right?
A word already exists for what you're trying to say here, champ: 'humility'! <For some strange reason, right after I typed it, I read the word as humidity and giggled for a bit.> You cannot take any adjective and add the suffix '-ness' to the end of it and think everything is OK. It's as bad as those folks who think they can convert any English word to Spanish by adding an '-o' at the end. It doesn't work! Understand-o?
If you don't believe me, why not tell me how stupid 'strongness' sounds to you? Perhaps 'teachableness' suits your limited English language needs?
I rest my case.
[Side note: To be fair, I know the word 'humbleness' does actually exist but it isn't commonly used. After all, we do use the word humility more than humbleness. Keep up with modern society, please.]
(2) "At the end of the day, ...":
Ahhhh yes. The hot new saying that everyone seems to be using. It's one of the most overused phrases I have heard in a long time! (It's only rivaled nowadays by 'epic', IMO.) When a person starts every other statement with this phrase, my brain goes to two places (depending on my mood): either the person has nothing of value to share and is trying to sound more interesting or the person genuinely believes the BS that's coming out of their mouths which makes me wonder what the end of their days are like. Well, not really. At the end of the day, they're not that interesting to begin with.
Damn it!!! It's contagious!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
OKOKOKOKOKOK....
I'll stop venting now. Do you have any other words or sayings that rub you the wrong way? Do share below in the comments section!!
I hope to hear from you.
Until next time, faithful reader......
P.S. On second thought, those people that add an 'o' to the end of English words are worse. Instead of trying to learn the proper word, they decide that Spanish isn't important enough to make an effort for. In fact, they're devaluing the language and, by proxy and perhaps unintentionally, insulting an entire culture.
Thursday, July 16, 2009
Nothing Left To Do But Blog About It
Welcome to another installment of mindless drivel and nonsensical prose. Glad you could make it. Pull up a chair and I'll pour you a drink. We can share a drink or two... or ten.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
ROOOOOOOOOADTRIIIIIIIIPPPP!!!!!!
I'm really looking forward to this weekend's getaway. I'm driving down to VA to visit some old friends! The Northeast crew along with the Southeast crew is converging in a house in the Mid-Atlantic. We've got my boy Tito coming up from Miami, cats flying down from NYC, me and Matt driving down in my car... and we're all staying at JV's place outside of Richmond.
About half the crew that's meeting up are people I went to elementary school with and this will be the first time we have all been together under the same roof since high school. There are some additions to the group. Girlfriends will be traveling as well along with new friends that we have made through the years.
Of all the trips I've taken this year, this may be the one I'm most looking forward to. Gotta love reunions with people you genuinely care about! I just received the tentative itinerary for this weekend and I'm sure we won't get to HALF of the things on the list. Although, I'm hoping we all get some time under the sun. I haven't had many chances to bask in the sunshine lately as I have been faithful to my work obligations. My main wish for the weekend is that the weather cooperates and we, at least, have the chance to do everything on the itinerary. Well... that, and I hope they all like my sangria!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I started my summer gig at Queens College this week. For the remainder of the summer semester, I will be an all-purpose tutor for the Sociology department. I won't make as much as I do when I'm teaching. Next summer, I can assure you that I will be teaching some electives and, thus, making better money. Nevertheless, it's a good way to keep myself busy and ensure some form of additional income in the meantime.
I conducted a writing workshop last night where I broke down the writing process (from the initial phase of thinking of your topic to fine tuning the final draft of a paper). When I started the lesson, I was a bundle of nerves and I didn't loosen up as quickly as I would have liked. I feel I could have done much better. Part of my anxiety was due to having to do the presentation in front of a colleague as opposed to flying solo with my own class. Thankfully, we get along well and whatever feedback I get from him will be off the record. It will be good to know what I can work on for next semester. I can also apply that knowledge to other Sociology classes when I decide to branch out beyond my statistics classes
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
For those of you who are curious (and to foolishly provide some assistance to my stalkers), here are my other public profiles you may want to visit one day, if you're so inclined:
1 - www.twitter.com/agsilver51 (Where I get to sound off - and mouth off - about my life and experiences: 140 characters at a time)
2 - www.posterous.com/agsilver (I don't use it to blog... that's what THIS site is for, silly. But I do like to post pics here occasionally - typically those taken on my phone. Check it out when you have a chance and lemme know what you think)
3 - www.bedwetter.com (I'm just making sure you're still paying attention!)
4 - tiny.cc/lod7R (A link to my "Rate My Professors" page where you can find reviews I've gotten this far after just one semester)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I'm not sure when I will get back on the ol' blog again so expect a mini-hiatus (the usual 6-10 days) unless I get inspired this weekend.
Until next time, faithful reader......
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
ROOOOOOOOOADTRIIIIIIIIPPPP!!!!!!
I'm really looking forward to this weekend's getaway. I'm driving down to VA to visit some old friends! The Northeast crew along with the Southeast crew is converging in a house in the Mid-Atlantic. We've got my boy Tito coming up from Miami, cats flying down from NYC, me and Matt driving down in my car... and we're all staying at JV's place outside of Richmond.
About half the crew that's meeting up are people I went to elementary school with and this will be the first time we have all been together under the same roof since high school. There are some additions to the group. Girlfriends will be traveling as well along with new friends that we have made through the years.
Of all the trips I've taken this year, this may be the one I'm most looking forward to. Gotta love reunions with people you genuinely care about! I just received the tentative itinerary for this weekend and I'm sure we won't get to HALF of the things on the list. Although, I'm hoping we all get some time under the sun. I haven't had many chances to bask in the sunshine lately as I have been faithful to my work obligations. My main wish for the weekend is that the weather cooperates and we, at least, have the chance to do everything on the itinerary. Well... that, and I hope they all like my sangria!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I started my summer gig at Queens College this week. For the remainder of the summer semester, I will be an all-purpose tutor for the Sociology department. I won't make as much as I do when I'm teaching. Next summer, I can assure you that I will be teaching some electives and, thus, making better money. Nevertheless, it's a good way to keep myself busy and ensure some form of additional income in the meantime.
I conducted a writing workshop last night where I broke down the writing process (from the initial phase of thinking of your topic to fine tuning the final draft of a paper). When I started the lesson, I was a bundle of nerves and I didn't loosen up as quickly as I would have liked. I feel I could have done much better. Part of my anxiety was due to having to do the presentation in front of a colleague as opposed to flying solo with my own class. Thankfully, we get along well and whatever feedback I get from him will be off the record. It will be good to know what I can work on for next semester. I can also apply that knowledge to other Sociology classes when I decide to branch out beyond my statistics classes
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
For those of you who are curious (and to foolishly provide some assistance to my stalkers), here are my other public profiles you may want to visit one day, if you're so inclined:
1 - www.twitter.com/agsilver51 (Where I get to sound off - and mouth off - about my life and experiences: 140 characters at a time)
2 - www.posterous.com/agsilver (I don't use it to blog... that's what THIS site is for, silly. But I do like to post pics here occasionally - typically those taken on my phone. Check it out when you have a chance and lemme know what you think)
3 - www.bedwetter.com (I'm just making sure you're still paying attention!)
4 - tiny.cc/lod7R (A link to my "Rate My Professors" page where you can find reviews I've gotten this far after just one semester)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I'm not sure when I will get back on the ol' blog again so expect a mini-hiatus (the usual 6-10 days) unless I get inspired this weekend.
Until next time, faithful reader......
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
Back on the East Coast (or Viva Las Vegas)
Helloooooo there,
I got back from Las Vegas late Sunday night. I was exhausted and hated being back. I had a massive headache and didn't even feel like driving home. (Yes, for those of you wondering, I DID park at the airport. It was for a good reason, trust me on that one).
I was in Vegas for three days with some friends and had a great time. Three days wasn't nearly enough time and I need to go back soon.
I also found out they're building a bridge that will replace the roadway over the Hoover Dam! The bridge should be finished in a year or so. No one will be allowed to drive on the Hoover Dam once it's finished. We're on the clock, folks. Pretty soon we won't be able to stop at the Arizona-Nevada border and make a wish over the dam so now's the time to head out there.
AND if you're in the area, boys and girls, be sure to stop by Boulder City to check out the Bootleg Canyon Flightlines (website). Simply amazing! I'm afraid of heights and I can tell you wholeheartedly, this is a MUST for anyone whether you like thrill rides or not. Not a fan of roller coasters? This is soooo much safer and soooo much more fun. Beautiful landscape, great staff, and an exhilarating experience!!!
Here are some other tidbits I'll share from my trip --
Overheard at the Palms:
A guy, who was playing on the same craps table as me about an hour earlier, walks over to some women sitting at the penny slots and says to one of them, "Hey girl, I'll give you $10 if you get up so I can see your ass."
[The girl did not take him up on his offer.]
True story on the roulette table:
A woman was down to her last $8. She didn't know what to play and was convinced by a group of girls to play $8 on 8. Sure enough, 8 comes up on the wheel. She won $280 with that bet. Nice work, ladies! lol.
Last day on the craps table @ Caesar's Palace:
[I had been winning money on a bet I placed on 4-4, a.k.a. "hard eight". It was off the table when this conversation occurred.]
Dealer - Want to play hard eight again?
Me - No thanks. I'll pass this time.
[The next dice roll was 4-4]
Dealer - Told you you should have played hard eight (She smiles as if she knew something I didn't).
Me - Next time I'll get it.
[Yeah! Thanks lady!!! lol]
At McCarran International Airport:
A small boy, no taller than 2.5 feet - a little half pint, walks by me cheesin' with pride because he is pulling his own mini-suitcase by himself. It's a "Cars" Lightning McQueen bag with the #95 emblazoned on it. Too cute!!
Drink of the trip:
Vodka and RedBull - kept me awake long enough to do what I wanted to do each night in Vegas. We can sleep when we're dead, right?
Lesson learned:
NEVER (EVER!) get in a situation where you have to accept a dare from a group of girls. smh. (That's all I'm saying about THAT one!)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I came across a blog post the other day (click here to read it) and it claims that: "Much like single friends, I think that single bloggers are generally better bloggers."
This made me wonder if the reason this blog is even MILDLY entertaining is because I'm single. Hmmmm... I may not be posting stories of my dating experiences here or any "wild" nights with the guys but I definitely feel there is some truth to the claim. I have time to actually sit and write at the ol' laptop. Otherwise, this time writing blog posts could be spent with a girlfriend. Who knows... We'll see when that day comes.
Until next time, faithful reader......
I got back from Las Vegas late Sunday night. I was exhausted and hated being back. I had a massive headache and didn't even feel like driving home. (Yes, for those of you wondering, I DID park at the airport. It was for a good reason, trust me on that one).
I was in Vegas for three days with some friends and had a great time. Three days wasn't nearly enough time and I need to go back soon.
I also found out they're building a bridge that will replace the roadway over the Hoover Dam! The bridge should be finished in a year or so. No one will be allowed to drive on the Hoover Dam once it's finished. We're on the clock, folks. Pretty soon we won't be able to stop at the Arizona-Nevada border and make a wish over the dam so now's the time to head out there.
AND if you're in the area, boys and girls, be sure to stop by Boulder City to check out the Bootleg Canyon Flightlines (website). Simply amazing! I'm afraid of heights and I can tell you wholeheartedly, this is a MUST for anyone whether you like thrill rides or not. Not a fan of roller coasters? This is soooo much safer and soooo much more fun. Beautiful landscape, great staff, and an exhilarating experience!!!
Here are some other tidbits I'll share from my trip --
Overheard at the Palms:
A guy, who was playing on the same craps table as me about an hour earlier, walks over to some women sitting at the penny slots and says to one of them, "Hey girl, I'll give you $10 if you get up so I can see your ass."
[The girl did not take him up on his offer.]
True story on the roulette table:
A woman was down to her last $8. She didn't know what to play and was convinced by a group of girls to play $8 on 8. Sure enough, 8 comes up on the wheel. She won $280 with that bet. Nice work, ladies! lol.
Last day on the craps table @ Caesar's Palace:
[I had been winning money on a bet I placed on 4-4, a.k.a. "hard eight". It was off the table when this conversation occurred.]
Dealer - Want to play hard eight again?
Me - No thanks. I'll pass this time.
[The next dice roll was 4-4]
Dealer - Told you you should have played hard eight (She smiles as if she knew something I didn't).
Me - Next time I'll get it.
[Yeah! Thanks lady!!! lol]
At McCarran International Airport:
A small boy, no taller than 2.5 feet - a little half pint, walks by me cheesin' with pride because he is pulling his own mini-suitcase by himself. It's a "Cars" Lightning McQueen bag with the #95 emblazoned on it. Too cute!!
Drink of the trip:
Vodka and RedBull - kept me awake long enough to do what I wanted to do each night in Vegas. We can sleep when we're dead, right?
Lesson learned:
NEVER (EVER!) get in a situation where you have to accept a dare from a group of girls. smh. (That's all I'm saying about THAT one!)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I came across a blog post the other day (click here to read it) and it claims that: "Much like single friends, I think that single bloggers are generally better bloggers."
This made me wonder if the reason this blog is even MILDLY entertaining is because I'm single. Hmmmm... I may not be posting stories of my dating experiences here or any "wild" nights with the guys but I definitely feel there is some truth to the claim. I have time to actually sit and write at the ol' laptop. Otherwise, this time writing blog posts could be spent with a girlfriend. Who knows... We'll see when that day comes.
Until next time, faithful reader......
Sunday, June 21, 2009
What I Learned About Life from a Puppy
A mini-post for today:
Most of you who know me personally know I've always been more of a cat-person than a dog-person. However, after observing the behavior of a certain puppy this weekend, I had a quasi-epiphany.
The world could be a better place if we take time to learn a lesson, or two, from dogs when it comes to dealing with other people:
- All we really need in life is a roof over our heads, regular meals, some love and attention, and a daily walk outside. The rest is gravy.
- There is nothing wrong with running up to a person you like and acknowledge them wholeheartedly
- If you don't like or trust someone, there is no shame in snarling, growling, or barking at them to let them know how you truly feel about them (a.k.a. don't be fake. If you don't like/trust someone, don't pretend to like/trust them)
- If you want to play, share your toys.
- Getting in someone's face doesn't have to be a sign of aggression. It may just mean you really like that person.
- Take the time to size someone up before you decide, with good reason, whether you like them or not.
It certainly is food for thought. Does anyone out there have any more lessons we can learn from "man's best friend"?
Until next time, faithful reader......
Most of you who know me personally know I've always been more of a cat-person than a dog-person. However, after observing the behavior of a certain puppy this weekend, I had a quasi-epiphany.
The world could be a better place if we take time to learn a lesson, or two, from dogs when it comes to dealing with other people:
- All we really need in life is a roof over our heads, regular meals, some love and attention, and a daily walk outside. The rest is gravy.
- There is nothing wrong with running up to a person you like and acknowledge them wholeheartedly
- If you don't like or trust someone, there is no shame in snarling, growling, or barking at them to let them know how you truly feel about them (a.k.a. don't be fake. If you don't like/trust someone, don't pretend to like/trust them)
- If you want to play, share your toys.
- Getting in someone's face doesn't have to be a sign of aggression. It may just mean you really like that person.
- Take the time to size someone up before you decide, with good reason, whether you like them or not.
It certainly is food for thought. Does anyone out there have any more lessons we can learn from "man's best friend"?
Until next time, faithful reader......
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Bad Habit and Coincidences
Howdy friend,
I've been really upset with myself lately for developing a pretty bad habit which had manifested itself first via online chats and has been more evident as of late IMO. Unfortunately, it has permeated my vocabulary and everyday dialogue. I now have a tendency to start sentences with the word "so". Perfectly capable conversation starters such as "How are you today?" turn into the ugly "So how are you today?" Normal statements like "I ran into John the other day" devolve into "So I ran into John the other day." (... and? what happened?) It may not seem that bad at first... but when every other sentence starts with "So..." it can officially be labeled a problem. I think it may have started as a nervous tic that I got too accustomed to using.
I'm trying to snap out of it. Occasionally, I catch myself when I use it and delete the offending two letter word.
Oh well... we'll see what happens... maybe I can also work on my two other 'problems': my incessant 'lol'ing and '...'ing.
*ahem* moving right along...
What was it that I was saying about coincidences last week when I was half drunk (*cough*cough* half?) and slightly coherent?
Ah, yes...
I sometimes find myself saying profound crap and forgetting it minutes later when I'm extremely tired or intoxicated. Both conditions require a state of mind that is different from the way I normally think.
This time I reasoned that there are no such thing as... coincidences.
I can't say if this qualifies as a profound statement or not because I still have lots of my life to finish living - presumably - but it makes for an interesting conversation (argument?) starter. I feel 'coincidences' are like signs on the roadway of our life. When we're out driving, walking, riding, etc... we don't read each and every sign on the road but every now and then there is one that will stand out and make you take notice. These are the times where we may notice the 'sign' while in the presence of someone or something that sticks in our memory. That is what a coincidence is like. It's simply the recognition of some seemingly random occurrence around us that we interpret as conveniently fitting into the present situation. Maybe it was just meant to be.
Coincidences are simply:
- just another marker on the path/road
- "sign posts" on our individual lifepaths
Granted, sometimes the paths cross with others. The road is shared and the "coincidences" may also be shared. It's not unlike driving with other cars on the road. You're not all going to the same destination but you may share time on the road.
Well, boys and girls, this is my exit.
Until next time, faithful reader......
I've been really upset with myself lately for developing a pretty bad habit which had manifested itself first via online chats and has been more evident as of late IMO. Unfortunately, it has permeated my vocabulary and everyday dialogue. I now have a tendency to start sentences with the word "so". Perfectly capable conversation starters such as "How are you today?" turn into the ugly "So how are you today?" Normal statements like "I ran into John the other day" devolve into "So I ran into John the other day." (... and? what happened?) It may not seem that bad at first... but when every other sentence starts with "So..." it can officially be labeled a problem. I think it may have started as a nervous tic that I got too accustomed to using.
I'm trying to snap out of it. Occasionally, I catch myself when I use it and delete the offending two letter word.
Oh well... we'll see what happens... maybe I can also work on my two other 'problems': my incessant 'lol'ing and '...'ing.
*ahem* moving right along...
What was it that I was saying about coincidences last week when I was half drunk (*cough*cough* half?) and slightly coherent?
Ah, yes...
I sometimes find myself saying profound crap and forgetting it minutes later when I'm extremely tired or intoxicated. Both conditions require a state of mind that is different from the way I normally think.
This time I reasoned that there are no such thing as... coincidences.
I can't say if this qualifies as a profound statement or not because I still have lots of my life to finish living - presumably - but it makes for an interesting conversation (argument?) starter. I feel 'coincidences' are like signs on the roadway of our life. When we're out driving, walking, riding, etc... we don't read each and every sign on the road but every now and then there is one that will stand out and make you take notice. These are the times where we may notice the 'sign' while in the presence of someone or something that sticks in our memory. That is what a coincidence is like. It's simply the recognition of some seemingly random occurrence around us that we interpret as conveniently fitting into the present situation. Maybe it was just meant to be.
Coincidences are simply:
- just another marker on the path/road
- "sign posts" on our individual lifepaths
Granted, sometimes the paths cross with others. The road is shared and the "coincidences" may also be shared. It's not unlike driving with other cars on the road. You're not all going to the same destination but you may share time on the road.
Well, boys and girls, this is my exit.
Until next time, faithful reader......
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Introspective and Contemplative Musings...
I'm going to dig deep into 'me' today... You can always leave now before things get messy... This will not be a light-hearted entry or one filled with interesting anecdotes of my quotidian life...
Still here?
OK then. Suit yourself. You've been warned...
First off, I'm doing this because it's the only method I haven't tried yet to get over this mental funk that I feel I'm in. All the bravado and energy I started the year with is starting to fade just a little and I'm looking to recapture that spark.
You should also know that I hate opening up and exposing myself too much. I've always felt it wasn't in my nature to do so. However, I now feel it's not nature but nurture (or maybe the lack of it) that's at the heart of things.
Bear with me as I open up a little bit. As this is serving as a thought dump, I may end up all over the place and you're not obligated to connect the dots.
- Over the years, I've been told I have emotional barriers. (It happened as recently as a few days ago) Though this may be true, I've never given it much serious thought before today. You can consider this entry a rudimentary self-exploration to what's going on in my noggin. (More stalling? Damn...)
- I'm accustomed to repressing, hiding, or masking my true feelings on many occasions. So much so that I end up on one of two extremes: (1) not being able to open up when I really want to, or (2) I keep things inside to the point that I uncontrollably let out some emotion (usually anger but it's not limited to that).
- I have a constant need to feel like I have to do anything and everything to the best of my ability. If I put in a half-assed effort to something, I usually feel like I let myself down. This need, however, is coupled with a need to impress others. If I feel I'll fail at meeting either of the two needs, I usually abandon that activity altogether whenever possible. It's better for me to not do anything than to fuck it up. This can't be healthy... and being aware of it now, I hope to change it. I hope it this old dog can still learn some new tricks.
- I was talking to my sister about something the other day. Essentially, people don't understand the degree to which we were made to feel like sh*t growing up. This was because of our dad and his constant put-downs. We were never good enough in his eyes. (Except when we did something he could brag about to co-workers about, then we were HIS kids. Every other time we were our MOM'S kids.) He was very vocal in reminding us on a consistent basis that we wouldn't amount to much and that we weren't very good at anything.
One residual side-effect of this is that I find it hard to accept compliments or praise. I justify this by easily dismissing it because I feel I can always do better and/or be better. It's almost as if who I am or anything I do is not praise-worthy. I tend to devalue myself because that's what I grew up with. The positive application of this attitude has been to drive myself to strive for excellence - and, when possible, perfection - in anything I do. Though when I feel that I can't do things well I abandon it altogether (see above). However, I also find that I usually stop myself from even trying if I deem I cannot do things well.
- I feel there are many people who are okay with mediocrity and accept their own limitations. This bothers me greatly and, personally, I cannot. Maybe it's a matter of perspective and they feel they are the best they can be. Maybe they don't realize they can be more than they are. On the contrary, I constantly feel like I should be challenging myself to be better in all aspects of my life, to be a better son, a better brother, a better worker, a better friend, a better lover.
Some things are easier to envision and extremely difficult to put into practice for me. I wish I could throw caution to the wind and not give a damn about the consequences but all I seem to think about are the what if's.
I was reminded of a quote I once heard and I read it again recently: older people do not regret what they have done but rather what they have not. I really need to take charge of things and not put myself in a position where I will regret anything later in life.
- I have never learned to properly deal with failure because I was made to feel like it wasn't a natural part of life. It was either success or nothing. Failure never seemed like an option for me. This is why I think I don't take a chance on anything... I need to know what I'm doing and how I'm doing it so I don't mess things up... It's not matter of preparedness but just me not wanting to fail.
- I'm afraid to open up to people because I've been made to feel like it is a sign of weakness. I hate being this way and, at times, try very hard to not get sucked into that emotional black hole where I disconnect from others. It's difficult for me to gauge how much is too much when I finally manage to share my feelings with others. Which is why I fear opening up in the first place. My apologies to those who have been frustrated by my tight-lipped nature...
- "Sand is so overrated. It's just tiny little rocks."
I recently saw a movie that I hadn't seen in years (one of my faves, actually) and it got me to thinking about things. I empathize with Joel. He's a shy man who has a self-perceived dull and uninteresting life, yet he has a lot of pent-up creativity and a sense of craziness about him. For much of my life, I've routinized my life to going to work and going home (rinse and repeat). Even Joel's experience with "fall[ing] in love with every woman I see that shows me the least bit of attention” is something I can relate to.
Watching this movie made me think about my life again. As beautiful and exciting as it would be, I can't expect to just sit around waiting to run into my own Clementine in Montauk (though, is a road trip in order?). I'm content where I am now... but is it enough? . . . . . .
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
If I keep writing at this point, I'll veer off on a tangent that I don't want to go on now... so I'll leave you with a quote from the movie cited above.
Until next time, faithful reader...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Joel: [in the house on the beach] I really should go! I've gotta catch my ride.
Clementine: So go.
Joel: I did. I thought maybe you were a nut... but you were exciting.
Clementine: I wish you had stayed.
Joel: I wish I had stayed to. NOW I wish I had stayed. I wish I had done a lot of things. I wish I had... I wish I had stayed. I do.
Clementine: Well I came back downstairs and you were gone!
Joel: I walked out, I walked out the door!
Clementine: Why?
Joel: I don't know. I felt like I was a scared little kid, I was like... it was above my head, I don't know.
Clementine: You were scared?
Joel: Yeah. I thought you knew that about me. I ran back to the bonfire, trying to outrun my humiliation.
Clementine: Was it something I said?
Joel: Yeah, you said "so go." With such disdain, you know?
Clementine: Oh, I'm sorry.
Joel: It's okay.
[Walking Out]
Clementine: Joely? What if you stayed this time?
Joel: I walked out the door. There's no memory left.
Clementine: Come back and make up a good-bye at least. Let's pretend we had one.
[Joel comes back]
Clementine: Bye Joel.
Joel: I love you...
Clementine: Meet me... in Montauk...
Still here?
OK then. Suit yourself. You've been warned...
First off, I'm doing this because it's the only method I haven't tried yet to get over this mental funk that I feel I'm in. All the bravado and energy I started the year with is starting to fade just a little and I'm looking to recapture that spark.
You should also know that I hate opening up and exposing myself too much. I've always felt it wasn't in my nature to do so. However, I now feel it's not nature but nurture (or maybe the lack of it) that's at the heart of things.
Bear with me as I open up a little bit. As this is serving as a thought dump, I may end up all over the place and you're not obligated to connect the dots.
- Over the years, I've been told I have emotional barriers. (It happened as recently as a few days ago) Though this may be true, I've never given it much serious thought before today. You can consider this entry a rudimentary self-exploration to what's going on in my noggin. (More stalling? Damn...)
- I'm accustomed to repressing, hiding, or masking my true feelings on many occasions. So much so that I end up on one of two extremes: (1) not being able to open up when I really want to, or (2) I keep things inside to the point that I uncontrollably let out some emotion (usually anger but it's not limited to that).
- I have a constant need to feel like I have to do anything and everything to the best of my ability. If I put in a half-assed effort to something, I usually feel like I let myself down. This need, however, is coupled with a need to impress others. If I feel I'll fail at meeting either of the two needs, I usually abandon that activity altogether whenever possible. It's better for me to not do anything than to fuck it up. This can't be healthy... and being aware of it now, I hope to change it. I hope it this old dog can still learn some new tricks.
- I was talking to my sister about something the other day. Essentially, people don't understand the degree to which we were made to feel like sh*t growing up. This was because of our dad and his constant put-downs. We were never good enough in his eyes. (Except when we did something he could brag about to co-workers about, then we were HIS kids. Every other time we were our MOM'S kids.) He was very vocal in reminding us on a consistent basis that we wouldn't amount to much and that we weren't very good at anything.
One residual side-effect of this is that I find it hard to accept compliments or praise. I justify this by easily dismissing it because I feel I can always do better and/or be better. It's almost as if who I am or anything I do is not praise-worthy. I tend to devalue myself because that's what I grew up with. The positive application of this attitude has been to drive myself to strive for excellence - and, when possible, perfection - in anything I do. Though when I feel that I can't do things well I abandon it altogether (see above). However, I also find that I usually stop myself from even trying if I deem I cannot do things well.
- I feel there are many people who are okay with mediocrity and accept their own limitations. This bothers me greatly and, personally, I cannot. Maybe it's a matter of perspective and they feel they are the best they can be. Maybe they don't realize they can be more than they are. On the contrary, I constantly feel like I should be challenging myself to be better in all aspects of my life, to be a better son, a better brother, a better worker, a better friend, a better lover.
Some things are easier to envision and extremely difficult to put into practice for me. I wish I could throw caution to the wind and not give a damn about the consequences but all I seem to think about are the what if's.
I was reminded of a quote I once heard and I read it again recently: older people do not regret what they have done but rather what they have not. I really need to take charge of things and not put myself in a position where I will regret anything later in life.
- I have never learned to properly deal with failure because I was made to feel like it wasn't a natural part of life. It was either success or nothing. Failure never seemed like an option for me. This is why I think I don't take a chance on anything... I need to know what I'm doing and how I'm doing it so I don't mess things up... It's not matter of preparedness but just me not wanting to fail.
- I'm afraid to open up to people because I've been made to feel like it is a sign of weakness. I hate being this way and, at times, try very hard to not get sucked into that emotional black hole where I disconnect from others. It's difficult for me to gauge how much is too much when I finally manage to share my feelings with others. Which is why I fear opening up in the first place. My apologies to those who have been frustrated by my tight-lipped nature...
- "Sand is so overrated. It's just tiny little rocks."
I recently saw a movie that I hadn't seen in years (one of my faves, actually) and it got me to thinking about things. I empathize with Joel. He's a shy man who has a self-perceived dull and uninteresting life, yet he has a lot of pent-up creativity and a sense of craziness about him. For much of my life, I've routinized my life to going to work and going home (rinse and repeat). Even Joel's experience with "fall[ing] in love with every woman I see that shows me the least bit of attention” is something I can relate to.
Watching this movie made me think about my life again. As beautiful and exciting as it would be, I can't expect to just sit around waiting to run into my own Clementine in Montauk (though, is a road trip in order?). I'm content where I am now... but is it enough? . . . . . .
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
If I keep writing at this point, I'll veer off on a tangent that I don't want to go on now... so I'll leave you with a quote from the movie cited above.
Until next time, faithful reader...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Joel: [in the house on the beach] I really should go! I've gotta catch my ride.
Clementine: So go.
Joel: I did. I thought maybe you were a nut... but you were exciting.
Clementine: I wish you had stayed.
Joel: I wish I had stayed to. NOW I wish I had stayed. I wish I had done a lot of things. I wish I had... I wish I had stayed. I do.
Clementine: Well I came back downstairs and you were gone!
Joel: I walked out, I walked out the door!
Clementine: Why?
Joel: I don't know. I felt like I was a scared little kid, I was like... it was above my head, I don't know.
Clementine: You were scared?
Joel: Yeah. I thought you knew that about me. I ran back to the bonfire, trying to outrun my humiliation.
Clementine: Was it something I said?
Joel: Yeah, you said "so go." With such disdain, you know?
Clementine: Oh, I'm sorry.
Joel: It's okay.
[Walking Out]
Clementine: Joely? What if you stayed this time?
Joel: I walked out the door. There's no memory left.
Clementine: Come back and make up a good-bye at least. Let's pretend we had one.
[Joel comes back]
Clementine: Bye Joel.
Joel: I love you...
Clementine: Meet me... in Montauk...
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
Crazy text
Hey all,
So a few days ago, I received what has to be one of the strangest text messages I ever had the pleasure of reading (and responding to). Below is the transcript with excess and, at times, unnecessary commentary:
----------------------------------------------------
Unknown # (6:17 PM): Are u paying the daycare or I am being left paying it. It's the bitch bitchin
[Clearly, I was taken aback as I have no children - that I'm aware of - so I clearly had to diffuse the situation quickly without seeming like the idiot that didn't care about paying for the daycare expense of his kids. Either that or just ignore it... but I couldn't do that. This woman needs to know that I'm not the guy she thinks I am. Then again, why am I assuming it's a girl texting? How sexist of me.]
Me (6:23 PM): I don't know who u are and I don't know this #. I suspect your msg was not meant for me.
[This seemed like the best option for a reply. But I wish I had been able to come up with such a 'clever' and thoughtful response in less than 6 minutes. I'm losing my touch.]
Unknown # (6:27 PM): I am the mother of your kids. Don't worry we don't know you either.
[AW CRAP!!! Exactly what I was trying to avoid. I could see the venom oozing off the phone as I read this reply. I had tried to make her realize that she sent the message to the wrong person without having her interpret it as her man trying to skirt his responsibility - and thus upsetting her further. Instead, I got the EXACT reaction I was hoping to avoid. *sigh* What to do now? Let her cool off or reply immediately?]
Unknown # (6:29 PM): Sorry so sorry you're right wrong number truly sorry.
[THANK GOD!!! She figured it out without me replying and making her even more upset. *WHEW* wow... I hope she can get in touch with her baby daddy and get her $$]
Me (6:30 PM): No problem. I completely understand. Good luck.
[Eh... I figured I should reply and let her know it was no big deal... for me that is. It's still a big deal to her.]
Unknown # (6:37 PM): Thanks I need it. :)
['Nuff said]
----------------------------------------------------
Lesson learned:
The next time you find yourself with a random text message from an unknown number, it may not hurt to reply and give some encouragement to those in need.
'til next time faithful reader...
So a few days ago, I received what has to be one of the strangest text messages I ever had the pleasure of reading (and responding to). Below is the transcript with excess and, at times, unnecessary commentary:
----------------------------------------------------
Unknown # (6:17 PM): Are u paying the daycare or I am being left paying it. It's the bitch bitchin
[Clearly, I was taken aback as I have no children - that I'm aware of - so I clearly had to diffuse the situation quickly without seeming like the idiot that didn't care about paying for the daycare expense of his kids. Either that or just ignore it... but I couldn't do that. This woman needs to know that I'm not the guy she thinks I am. Then again, why am I assuming it's a girl texting? How sexist of me.]
Me (6:23 PM): I don't know who u are and I don't know this #. I suspect your msg was not meant for me.
[This seemed like the best option for a reply. But I wish I had been able to come up with such a 'clever' and thoughtful response in less than 6 minutes. I'm losing my touch.]
Unknown # (6:27 PM): I am the mother of your kids. Don't worry we don't know you either.
[AW CRAP!!! Exactly what I was trying to avoid. I could see the venom oozing off the phone as I read this reply. I had tried to make her realize that she sent the message to the wrong person without having her interpret it as her man trying to skirt his responsibility - and thus upsetting her further. Instead, I got the EXACT reaction I was hoping to avoid. *sigh* What to do now? Let her cool off or reply immediately?]
Unknown # (6:29 PM): Sorry so sorry you're right wrong number truly sorry.
[THANK GOD!!! She figured it out without me replying and making her even more upset. *WHEW* wow... I hope she can get in touch with her baby daddy and get her $$]
Me (6:30 PM): No problem. I completely understand. Good luck.
[Eh... I figured I should reply and let her know it was no big deal... for me that is. It's still a big deal to her.]
Unknown # (6:37 PM): Thanks I need it. :)
['Nuff said]
----------------------------------------------------
Lesson learned:
The next time you find yourself with a random text message from an unknown number, it may not hurt to reply and give some encouragement to those in need.
'til next time faithful reader...
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