Always the bridesmaid never the... Wait, that's not right (or You are NOT the Best Man)

(Bear with me. I need to get this off my chest.)

It shouldn't occupy so much of my time.

It really shouldn't be that big of a deal.

But, for some odd reason, it has lingered in my thoughts longer than I expected and I feel the need to exorcise this growing demon.

I don't have a brother. Not by blood, anyway. I have many close friends that I consider brothers in my heart. "Brother(s) from another mother", if you like that particular colloquialism.

Given that, there has always been a part of me that wished/hoped/imagined myself being the best man at one of their weddings. Once I got to an age when my friends started getting married, I realized that a lot of these men - my brothers - have actual brothers of their own. Being selected as a best man for any of their weddings was not something I honestly considered as a possible reality. The blood brothers have more of a right (a birthright, perhaps?), a more legitimate claim to being the best man and I'm OK with that. I have been OK with that.

So why am I feeling differently about it now? Why am I so fixated on not having the chance to be a best man? I think a large part of it comes down to my perceived value as a friend. I deeply appreciate the connections I've made with these great men I call brothers. Not being considered for "best man" duties makes me feel like I've somehow haven't held up my end of the friendship.

Now I look in the proverbial mirror and ask myself  "How could I have been a better friend?" But that type of revisionist history doesn't change what has happened and I can only use this introspection to change my behavior going forward. It's not as if we're going to stop being friends.  Like I said earlier, these are my brothers. Those are bonds that are not easily destroyed, especially not because of my own insecurities.

In the past, I've taken time to consider who would be on my list of 'contenders' for best man when it's my time to get married (should that day ever come... LOL). It's not an easy decision and I know that someone may feel slighted if I don't pick them. It almost makes me wish I had a brother (no offense, Eules!) but that's not my reality. I've come to realize that there really isn't a good choice or bad choice.

Also, being selected as a groomsman is not a consolation prize! That's as much an honor as being a best man, in my humble opinion. This is not to say that if I'm not asked to participate in any form in the ceremony that I should be upset or hurt. The tedium of being able on someone else's timetable (the wedding planner or photographer or even the bride and groom) can be draining and sap some of the enjoyment out of the occasion.

Yet, when I see guys from the same circle of friends - a circle that I consider myself a part of - go through the motions with rehearsals, taking photos, or just standing at the altar with the happy couple, it makes my heart sink a little and it makes me feel left out. For much of my childhood, I felt like an outsider so this problem is probably deeper rooted than I imagined when I first started writing this.

The lesson I'd like to impart on you today, faithful reader, is to take some time out of your busy week/weekend/life and contact those who you consider close to you. Reach out to your 'brothers' and 'sisters' and let them know how much you appreciate having them in your life. I'm not encouraging this to improve your chances at being chosen as 'best man' or 'maid of honor', do it as a favor to the friendships you hold dear. The unexpected phone call, visit, or even (dare I say it?) e-mail showing your appreciation will go a long way to picking that person, or those people, up.

Don't assume they know how you feel about them. Tell them yourself!
Brighten up their day today! And who knows, maybe it will be reciprocated!

Until next time......

Survey Results (or How To Lose Friends Quickly with Just One Message)

Helllllllooooooooo everyone,

Long time no see. I've been wanting to write this entry for several months now. I've been busy with my stats classes, keeping sane, and staying afloat financially. [Sidebar: When I say "staying afloat", I mean it like drowning... but managing to get your head above water JUST long enough to catch a quick breath before you go under long enough for your lungs to burn. Rinse and repeat.]

But enough of that... I have an interesting story to tell you all. [Trust me when I tell you that the pace with which I am typing these keys now is one that only compares to those all-nighters I would pull to write my 10+ page term papers as an undergrad... only with more of a purpose... and joy.]

Several months ago, I get the following text message from a female friend:
"So gentlemen,I was having a debate w/a male friend of mine...I know this isn't a hot topic of discussion,but if ur all not embarrassed 2 respond, I'd appreciate honest responses.1)would/do u mind having sex w/ ur girl when she has her period 2)would/do u mind doing "strategic" oral sex 2 ur girl if she has her period- ask if u need clarification on strategic 3)would/do u prefer just a bj to sex from ur girl when she has her period- this one was a hoot!"

[FYI, for those of you wondering, like I did... "strategic meaning: clitoral tongue action only. not necessarily tongue to vaginal opening"]

After mulling it over I replied by e-mail (since she needed written evidence). Then I got curious to know what my fellow XY chromosome comrades thought of these questions. I got busy contacting my buddies to get their feedback. Partly to give my friend some more content for her debate but the researcher in me was curious to see if there were any trends in the responses I'd get.

Here were the questions I asked my friends:
(1) Would you/do you mind having sex with your girl when she has her period?
(2) Would you/do you mind "strategic" oral sex to your girl if she has her period? ("strategic" = tongue-to-clitoris contact)
(3) Would you/do you prefer just a BJ to sex from your girl when she is on her period?
(Follow-up to Q3) Would you ask for the BJ or only take it if offered?

I had 21 friends reply (why did I think there were more??) and here are the results (with my answers included among the totals) along with any funny/quirky/insightful quotes to these yes/no questions added in.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - -
(1) Yes, they would have sex during period - 12
"My penis has no sense of smell or taste"
"only in the shower or covered bed"
"with a condom and if she cleans up"
"a shower takes care of that"
"but on a VERY slow day"

No, they would not - 9
"I'd try anything once but I wouldn't be enthusiastic about it"
"but sometimes you have to take one for the team to make her happy"

Depends on state of mind - 1
- - - - - - - - - - - - - -
(2) Yes, would perform "strategic" oral - 1

No "strategic" oral - 20
"NAY!!! Mouth stays fffffffaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrr away from that area until things clear up. lol"
- - - - - - - - - - - - - -
(3) Yes, they would prefer BJ over sex - 15
"If she's comfortable only"
"It's easier"
"It's all about reciprocating so I won't lose sleep if there is no BJ during this time"
"If I had a choice - which most of the time I don't - I would prefer a BJ over sex"

No to BJ over sex - 5
"Sex over BJ but a BJ or a handjob would do [if that's all there is]"

Depends on state of mind - 1
- - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Follow-up Q
Yes (would ask for a BJ) - 2
"whatever floats her boat"
"a BJ is good but would rather have sex"
"I would ask in a diplomatic way"

No (would not ask for it but would take it if offered) - 12
"only if she prefers that"
"asking for it ruins the experience"

Other - 2
"feel bad about getting and not giving"
"it depends on the girl. some are givers and some aren't"
- - - - - - - - - - - - - -

It would seem as if the guys are almost split evenly among those who would and would not do it during "that time of the month". There was a resounding, nearly unanimous NO on question 2 about the strategic oral. Also when given the choice, my pool of respondents would mainly prefer a BJ over sex during this time but acknowledged that it isn't up to them (us?). I suspect there was a case of "If I have to answer this question then..." and is not really a reflection of what would actually happen under those circumstances. Finally, most of the guys recognize that getting a BJ is a privilege and not something we should necessarily ask for per se (unless done "diplomatically"! LOL). Besides, there are plenty of women who refuse to do that (just like there are plenty of guy who won't reciprocate).

I'm considering revisiting these questions but from the female perspective. Any of my female friends reading this... you've been warned. Expect an e-mail/FB message from me in the near future.

For the guys reading this... are any of you brave enough to answer these questions? You could comment anonymously but any feedback would be welcome!

Until next time, faithful reader......

My New Apartment (Part 3)

(NOTE: Sorry that this took weeks to write. This arguably has been the hardest of the 3 parts to write...... I hope it was worth your wait.)

If you need to catch up on the story, here are the links to Part 1 and Part 2

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My last week in the old apartment was fairly uneventful. The one thing I should have been dedicating my time to was packing. I had found the new apartment relatively quickly and there was a very small window to get my things over to the new place.

Instead, I was overwhelmed and exhausted with my work schedule. After getting home late after teaching each night, the LAST thing I wanted to do was PACK. Each night that week, I reasoned I had time the next day. That line of thinking didn't work when it got to be Thursday and I knew I had friends helping me move Friday night. I started getting things together in earnest on Thursday night.

I had devised a GENIUS plan to move all of my things to the new place. I was going to recruit several of my male friends to help me take furniture and bulk items to the apartment on Friday night and another group of "volunteers" would come by on Saturday (for the morning and afternoon) to take everything else. This would afford me a little extra time to pack (last minute, of course) on Friday night and MAYBE even Saturday morning. It would also allow me to rent the truck for only 24 hours.

The one snag in the ill-conceived plan was the timing of it all. You see, for those of you who don't remember, Halloween fell on a Saturday this year. I was basically asking my friends to help me move on Halloween weekend. This didn't prove to be a problem on Friday night as I got several dudes to come by and help me with what I figured was the more difficult part. The problem I had was finding people willing to help me out on Saturday. In the end, I only had about 3 people helping me the entire day.

I picked up the keys to my new apartment on Friday afternoon and picked up the UHaul truck before 5pm. My friends began arriving shortly thereafter for the big move. After several hours of heavy lifting, I took my boys out for some pizza and wings. The next morning, with many things still left to pack, I was disappointed to find that very few people were available to help me. Everyone's Halloween plans was beginning to interfere with my moving plans (grrrr). Not that I blame them but I have to admit being a little disappointed with the lack of help.

Eventually, with the help of a select few, I managed to get everything moved to my new apartment by 2AM (yes, you read that correctly*)! Oh, did I forget to mention that this was also when daylight savings time ended? When I say I was done at 2AM, I mean 2AM AFTER the clock was turned back one hour (so I was done by 3AM by my internal clock). There was JUST enough time for me to wash up and head out to my friend's Halloween party.

......

The first few weeks in the new place took some getting used to. There were many things about the life I knew that had been disrupted by the move. For starters, I was always used to living with SOMEONE. For most of my life it was my mom and for a couple of years it was with my ex. There is a lot to be said about having someone in close proximity to you. A residual closeness that I had gotten so used to and found so comforting. I didn't have to speak to the person but knowing someone was around was a nice feeling.

Now that I was living on my own I was more aware of how alone I was. Being forced to a position of self-sufficiency wasn't the issue. It was not having anyone to talk to. Not having anyone ask me a question or even tell me about their day. I had gotten so accustomed to these things in my life that I didn't realize how important it was for me to have someone with me.

There was so much alcohol that I had brought from the old apartment I figured I either needed to start drinking it myself or plan for the housewarming party. I recall the first night in my apartment I decided to have a celebratory cocktail and I made myself a margarita. The next night, I mixed myself another drink which I had with dinner. The following day I was in the mood for my 'nightly' drink while I was cooking. I had a pre-dinner cocktail and another one with dinner. Over the next few days, my own personal Happy Hour progressed to the point where I would have at least 3 drinks a night. I would go to bed buzzed daily (there were a few nights were I can say I was legitimately drunk).

This couldn't continue long term and there were two factors that led me to stop drinking as much as I did those first two weeks on my own. The first was a practical reason and it was financial. Drinking is an expensive hobby if you do too much of it and I wasn't ready to commit to buying a bottle or two every week. The second factor was much more personal. I've alluded to my father in my blog before... and it is partly due to him that I was able to stop drinking as much as I did.

My father was an alcoholic. He was in severe denial and I suspect that to this day he probably still believes he never really had a drinking problem. Though he had his moments of kindness, overall he was not a good man to my family. His way of coping with the stress in his life was to drink. To be honest, he was a better person when he was drunk. But it was this realization that really hit home with me.

I was dealing with the loneliness I was experiencing by distracting myself with my daily drinks. Alcohol was incorporated into nearly every aspect of my nightly routine. Since I got home late after teaching, I would mix a drink before starting to prepare dinner. I'd drink during dinner. I'd drink after dinner. I'd regularly fall asleep on the futon in the living room and wake up to a TV that had been on all night and staring at a half empty glass by my side.

I've since stopped drinking in excess thought I still enjoy a drink or two every now and again. In the weeks leading up to my move (and even a little after), many people told me that a person starts learning a lot about themselves when they live on their own. I didn't quite see that learning process manifest itself until I managed to clear my head of some clutter that had been keeping me from discovering who I am. I understand that the process is an ongoing one. It's an awakening of sorts; a discovery, if you will. And it is one that I'm genuinely excited about and I cannot wait to see where this journey takes me.

Until next time, faithful reader......

* A special thank you goes out to Anthony for his help on my moving weekend. He was the only one who came to help me on both days and even helped me almost until midnight on Halloween. He was heading out to the same Halloween party I was going to and I felt guilty that it was my move that made him go to the party so late. I am eternally grateful for his help during my move and I hope to someday repay him in kind. From the bottom of my heart, thank you brother! I owe you big time!

Gratitude and Acknowledgments

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

In the spirit of the season, I'd like to take this time to express my gratitude and thank everyone who has had an impact in my life this past year (in no particular order, a.k.a. as you pop into my head):

My Twitter peeps - I shout you out first because in a year of craziness you guys and gals have provided me a modicum of sanity (by showing me how much crazier you all are!! LMAO). Thanks for letting me vent without judgment and criticism, for offering me feedback when I needed it, and for giving me my daily dose of entertainment.

INNER CIRCLE:
Alexis - To the man I've known the longest out of anyone in my entire life. We may not have our spontaneous Dunkin runs like we used to back in the day, but I still appreciate you being there for me at the end of 2008 when I was at an emotional low point (and when we broke the "Dunkin code"). Though we may not hang out as much as I'd like, I will always value our friendship and want you to know I will always have your back!

Jorge/Frans - These two guys are my road dogs for life. Words cannot adequately relate how much I value having you guys as friends. We have been there for each other through thick and thin for the majority of our lives and I hope this continues until we're old and gray.

Tito - You're irreplaceable, bro. Forever my Cuban/DR brother for life!! Thank you for always making me feel at home (going back to our PS148 days!). I don't see you nearly enough and plan to remedy that in the upcoming year. When will you be coming up to NYC?

JV - Despite all the time and distance between us, it still feels like yesterday every time we meet. Memories of Madrigal will never fail to bring a smile to my face. Hopefully, the New Year 2010 plans will pan out.

Liz - I'm always grateful for my 'twin' who is always there to lend an ear (and to come asking me for advice which she NEVER takes). When are you inviting me to one of your dozens of annual cruises?

Sofia - You aren't old enough to read this or even know what these words mean. But I need to tell you that you have no idea how much your smile brightens up my day. I can't help but laugh and smile every time I see the "Palpatine" video I took of you during one of my recent visits. Tio Alan loves you very much!

Valued Friends/Colleagues:
Jessie/Miko/Tara - I'm grateful for having you ladies back in my life. Even if it is only for a few drinks every few months, I feel grounded when hanging with you all and value your friendship as much today (if not more) I did back in the BxSci days.

ULF - For the road trips we took at the start of the year! I had a blast (even though it may not have seemed like it at times). OH... and for late-night murder burgers.

BJB - For Trivial Pursuit and Tanqueray (never again!!). I owe you a drink (at least one)! In loving memory of Jean Pierre... lol

ES/KL - For helping me out on the day I needed it most (when you could have been doing ANYTHING else) and for not throwing your relationship in my face.

J(w/a'K')D - a new friend who I've been comfortable enough to laugh with and share with. I hope we remain friends for years to come. May there be many more FU's in our future. =)

EZ/MdlS - For being my 'release valve' when I needed a shoulder to lean on or someone to listen when I was beginning to keep things inside again.

SL/JO - For Vegas. Nuff said.

CM - The greatest TA a professor could ask for. Thank you for making my life so much simpler this semester!!

D - For our weekly chats in the department that cause me to be late for class.

My colleagues at QC - To those of who who continue to support me and offer guidance when I need it, I am eternally grateful!

Family:
All my cousins (NMR, AR, NP, VP, among others) - I adore you all and am glad we've been able to reconnect this year. I hope we continue to grow closer.

Euli - Thank you for being a part of my life again. I'm sorry for the time I spent away from you and hope that we can continue growing closer and learning from each other for a very, very long time. Love you, baby sis.

Mom - For always keeping me grounded and reminding me how to love unconditionally. For showing me how to be strong in the face of adversity. For showing me how to remain positive even when the world seems to be crumbling down around you. For teaching me to appreciate the little things in life and to value contact with our family, even if it is only for a moment. I love you, Mom.

Dad - Wherever you are. I no longer hate you like I did before. And though I have not forgiven you, I often wonder what you're doing now. For better or worse, te quiero viejo. You helped shape who I am today. There's not a week that goes by that I don't think of you (though that's not always a good thing, sir).

~~~~~~~~~~

I am sure there are others who have been left off this list. Do not take offense for this does not mean I care for you any less. It was not a bout of negligence that led me to keep you off of this list but rather I blame my faulty memory. But those of you who have had a significant impact in my life this past year know who you are. If not, I'll do my best to remind you who you are in the coming days, weeks, and years.

I wish you all a happy and healthy Thanksgiving 2009. May your feast tonight be bountiful, your drinks plentiful, and your hearts full of love and joy this holiday weekend.

Until next time, faithful reader...

My New Apartment (Part 2)

Welcome back RaUM-nivores,

I need to back track for just a moment... There was one little detail that I may have overlooked in my previous post ("My New Apartment (Part 1)"). I had been looking for apartments for more than 6 weeks. But my search before those last 6 weeks had been half-hearted and full of optimism since the first apartment I viewed was a wonderful 1 bedroom apartment in Forest Hills. I assumed, having found that first apartment so quickly (and easily), that I would have no trouble finding another one JUST like it if I had to.

Now, I only had 2 weeks left in October and I needed to find an apartment ASAP. That Sunday (the 18th), I found a listing on craigslist.org for an apartment in Middle Village. It was less than $1,000/month and all the utilities were included. It was too good to be true in my opinion. My experience during this apartment hunt had been if it's too good to be true, it's because IT IS! But this place, though a little on the small side, was a nice little apartment with lots of natural light and it was in the same neighborhood (which I grew to love in my 3 years living there).

After meeting with the home owner, I practically committed to the place (after finding out that cable AND internet was also included at no additional charge). I was asked to come back to meet the owner's wife. I mentioned that my teaching schedule would prohibit me from stopping by at a reasonable hour in the evenings. We decided to meet later that week on Friday night.

The next day, Monday, after I was hit with a wave of curiosity I quickly browsed through a new list of apartments online. I saw a listing for a 1 BR apartment in Fresh Meadows which intrigued me. I decided to sneak a peek at an apartment in this neighborhood that I was somewhat familiar with since I had friends (Desiree and Carlos) that used to live there. I made an appointment to see the place on Tuesday before my evening class.

There must have been magic in the air that day. Or perhaps it was a convergence of cosmic forces. Something seemed to indicate it was a day I was destined to live through. A feeling more profound than deja vu. The one major surprise I had that day was running into Desiree while waiting for my appointment with the real estate broker. For some reason, she was in her old neighborhood (you see, her and Carlos had moved into their own home away from this area a while ago). She was in her car, her mom was riding shotgun, and her son was in his car seat in the back. I remember asking her what she was doing around there but she ended up asking me about why I was there, she told me about the broker I was meeting up with, and she gave me some tips on what to expect from him. It seemed like an odd coincidence at the time, but I've come to realize that in life we seldom experience mere coincidences. There is typically something more to those 'coincidences'. Why was it that I ran into her then and there, when I haven't seen her or spoken to her (or Carlos even) in several months?

A few minutes later, I was walking into a beautiful, spacious 1 BR apartment that I fell in love with immediately. The rent was reasonable and I liked everything about this place. It was the only apartment I had seen (other than the one in Forest Hills that I had seen a few months before) where I could envision myself living for years to come. Every other apartment I had seen had it's share of pros and cons. Ultimately they were all apartments that I knew I would either outgrow or get tired of living in after several months.

This was not a trivial detail. After all, this was the first apartment where I would be living on my own: my own space; my stuff; occupied by me, myself and I. Finding the right place was a huge decision for me. I've moved so much in my life that all I want is to feel settled, to have a place I can call my home. I didn't want to be hasty about selecting the "right" apartment.

This was the perfect fit. I knew it. Sure enough, in the span of an hour I had run into Des, I saw the apartment, and I was handing over a modest payment which was needed to 'hold' my apartment while they performed a credit and background check.

I remember running back to school that evening and wanting to share the news with someone. I didn't want to keep the news of my major decision to myself. Thankfully, I got to tell the good news to a friend of mine who happened to still be on campus that evening (and it was totally worth being late to my class for!)

Two days later, I was signing my lease (and also violating my #1 rule for apartment hunting, paying a broker's fee).

MY LEASE.

MY... LEASE...

...for my very own apartment. It was a moment of tremendous pride and joy for me.

~~~~~~~~~~

Stay tuned for the third (and final) part of my story where I regale you with tales from my last week in the old apartment, the move on Halloween weekend, and my first days in the new apartment.

Until next time, faithful reader......

My New Apartment (Part 1)

Hello there,

It certainly has been a while, hasn't it?

When I started writing this entry it was a week before Halloween. I was excited that I had finally found my next apartment. My bona fide bachelor pad. Then, the reality of having to pack, moving, and getting settled in the new place smacked me in the face. Hard!

Here's the story of my new apartment...

I had been actively looking for an apartment for almost 6 weeks. My roommate has found a place and moved out already. I was living alone in an apartment that was too big (and, frankly, too expensive) for just me. And even though I was alone, the apartment didn't feel like my own. It has been shared for several years and I couldn't shake the history that existed in that apartment. It would never be "MY" place no matter how long I lived there.

I spoke with my landlord in September and informed her I'd be forced to move (and thus breaking my lease). We agreed that, as long as they found someone to move in immediately, I wouldn't lose any part of my deposit.

I set a personal deadline of October 15th as my final day in the apartment. I figured I would find a place to move into by the 1st. This would give me two solid weeks to organized my things and move into the new apartment without having to rush. Well, Oct 1st passed and I started considering a quicker move. Perhaps I'd move on the weekend of the 15th instead. The stubborn old me wanted to stick to my self-imposed deadline. In the meantime, the landlord had people visiting my apartment every weekend. I didn't mind. If anything, I welcomed all the visitors. Every new person walking into my place was another potential resident who would assure me the full amount of my deposit.

Panic didn't set in until around the 15th. I hadn't been able to find a suitable apartment up to that point. Time was running out and I certainly didn't want to move in the winter. I've done a cold weather move before and it is BRUTAL. I definitely did NOT want to live through that again. Also, I didn't want my friends (those who would help me move) to deal with bad weather either.

That weekend, my landlord had set-up several appointments to view my apartment. I indicated to her that I wanted to move by Nov 1st. I had a concrete date now. A fixed deadline. I didn't want to back down on my word. I had to find a place... and soon!

(To be continued, faithful reader......)

My Fall Semester and Other Quick Hits

Fall is here and my second semester at Queens College has officially begun. My first impressions of the classes are mixed. They all seem interested in the material thus far, which is nice to see. Also, I was better at my opening day speech this semester because I was able to scare away about 5 students from my 2 classes. Nevertheless, I still have nearly a full course load since I approved 4 over-tallies (2 extra students per class).

My Monday/Wednesday class is similar to my 2 classes from last semester. They seem to take good notes and manage to keep up with a quicker pace (which I prefer since the class doesn't drag). The Tuesday/Thursday class asks lots of questions (not necessarily a bad thing when it happens occasionally). I need to offer a thorough explanation to repeat the answer in an alternate way so that they can understand the material better. The side effect of this is that I can see that I'm losing the attention of the students who 'get it' and then feel the class is dragging along.

I don't mind the questions since they're valid questions but every time we meet I get asked a lot of questions which then takes time from other things we need to go over. On a personal note, another consequence of this is that they keep me in the classroom until 9:20pm (the scheduled end time of the class)!! This is a bad for me but more so for them because the last hour of the class time needs to be dedicated to doing lab work (using SPSS, a program we have for statistical analysis). I have the Sociology department's computer lab reserved for my classes. What I tend to do is dismiss my classes after the lecture is completed and then hang around for the students who want to work in the department's computer lab. The more time we take in class, the less lab time they have (or the later they stay in school since this keeps them from having an early night).

We'll see how things shake out. First exam is tonight and tomorrow. =)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Disclaimer: Between classes (and grading of the first exam this week) along with finding my own place (among other things), I may end up having less time to dedicate to RaUM in the upcoming week or so. I'll do my best to write a short entry before another full week passes.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I'd like to offer birthday shout-outs to the Virgos in my life. My fellow earth signs are people I have gotten along with very well for most of my life. Had some fun with some Virgos this past weekend. For the record, I am STILL upset that my sister, also a Virgo, didn't tell me if she had anything going on for her b-day. I may have to tell her to her face since it's not as if she reads my blog anyway. I actually have no idea if she did anything or not. Maybe I should call her...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I feel sad for my best friend Jorge and his wife who had to give up their 3 kitties after their 21-month old daughter started having very bad allergic reactions to them. I know losing a pet is always hard whether it's because they die, are lost (and never found again) or given away for sudden (yet valid) reasons. However, given his daughter's reaction to them, the choice was clear. I know that given enough time, they'll learn to live without them. I just hope that day comes sooner than later.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I'm working on a RaUM entry (about Spanglish and my feelings about it) and hope to have it posted some time this weekend. I also hope it won't take me more than a week to finish it up.

Until next time, faithful reader......

Reunions and Looking Forward

Greetings,

It occurred to me today that I managed to upload pics from my trip to VA this past weekend to my Facebook profile but I still haven't posted my pics of my cousin Nelson's visit to NY yet!! What's wrong with me... smh. AH YES! I remember what happened now... Problems with the Facebook photo uploader. [Update: I managed to make it work while writing this blog entry. Hooray Beer!]

Speaking of VA, I HAD A BLAST this weekend catching up with old childhood friends in Richmond. This was the first time that all of us have been together under the same roof in almost a decade. We even made time (at the last possible minute, of course) to recreate the photo we took the last time we were together on that cold December night years ago back in T's house. This reunion also included a few new additions to the 'family' (a high school friend of T and Lex, and Lex's girlfriend, Cyn).

The only regret I have from this past weekend (it's a minor one, mind you) is that I missed out on the chance to check out the bar scene in downtown Richmond. I will say, though, that visiting Busch Gardens and spending time with childhood friends was a fair trade-off. On a related note, Busch Gardens was surprisingly fun and was better than Six Flags in NJ, if I do say so myself.

What else do I have planned, you ask? What's next for me?
Well... after talking with the fellas... we're trying set up a week-long cruise in Sept/Oct to the Caribbean. It'll be a chance for all the single guys of the crew to hang out and do our thing. Sorry Lex, though I'm sure you'd rather spend the time with Cyn anyway. =)

A few days ago, I had announced on Twitter that I was considering stopping by Atlantic City to get some money to go on this cruise (without having to tap into any savings) to which a friend responded: "geez vegas, road trips, ac, and a cruise! Lol crazy." I suppose it is... but I'm loving every second of it!!

To add to that "crazy" list of activities, I'm considering going skydiving in late August right before the Fall '09 semester starts. I'd prefer to do this with a friend but I'm willing to do it solo if no one steps up to join me. Anyone down?

I may also get my tattoo once the summer is over. I'll probably do it at the start of the school year (with that first paycheck of the semester). Some of you may have heard me talking about it since the start of the year but when deciding between ink or traveling, sight-seeing won over every time. I am serious about getting it so you can expect it to happen before the year's end.

There are a few things to sort out in my life between now and the end of the year but everything will happen in due time. Maybe I'll write about it next time, who knows.

Nevertheless, I have visions of craps tables in my head and may head out to Atlantic City soon. I've been dying to go since I've been back from Vegas. Wish me luck in case I decide to go!

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I added a new MCB playlist today. It's been a while and my apologies to those of you who actually tuned in weekly for them in the past. This week's playlist features Beatles songs. No real reason other than it's great music that will never go out of style.

I'm also working on some new "Ultimate" playlists so keep your eyes open for that. For those who haven't read some of my earlier writing, the 'Ultimate's are lists of quintessential songs that define a genre and are must-haves in anyone's mp3 collection. They're an excellent starting point for people that are new to a particular genre looking to build their musical collection. I've completed playlists for Salsa, Bachata and Freestyle thus far. The genres I plan to tackle next are Vallenatos, Merengue, and Samba. When considering 'Ultimate's for English music, it gets a little more complicated but I will probably work on songs by genre and decade (a.k.a. rock from the 80's, R&B from the 90's, etc)

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I'll leave you with this thought, borrowed from a blog I stumbled upon today:

"IF I HAD MY LIFE TO LIVE OVER

I'd dare to make more mistakes next time.
I'd relax, I'd limber up.
I would be sillier than I've been this trip.
I would take fewer things seriously, take more chances, take more trips.
I'd climb more mountains and swim more rivers.
I would eat more ice cream and fewer beans.
I would perhaps have more actual troubles, but I'd have fewer imaginary ones.
You see, I'm one of those people who lived seriously, sanely, hour after hour, day after day.
I've had my moments, and if I had to do over again, I'd have more of them.
I've been one of those persons who never goes anywhere without a thermometer, a hot water bottle, a raincoat, and a parachute.
If I had my life to live over, I would start going barefoot earlier in the spring, and stay that way later in the fall.
I would go to more dances, I would ride more merry-go-rounds, I would pick more daisies."

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Until next time, faithful reader......

Nothing Left To Do But Blog About It

Welcome to another installment of mindless drivel and nonsensical prose. Glad you could make it. Pull up a chair and I'll pour you a drink. We can share a drink or two... or ten.

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ROOOOOOOOOADTRIIIIIIIIPPPP!!!!!!

I'm really looking forward to this weekend's getaway. I'm driving down to VA to visit some old friends! The Northeast crew along with the Southeast crew is converging in a house in the Mid-Atlantic. We've got my boy Tito coming up from Miami, cats flying down from NYC, me and Matt driving down in my car... and we're all staying at JV's place outside of Richmond.

About half the crew that's meeting up are people I went to elementary school with and this will be the first time we have all been together under the same roof since high school. There are some additions to the group. Girlfriends will be traveling as well along with new friends that we have made through the years.

Of all the trips I've taken this year, this may be the one I'm most looking forward to. Gotta love reunions with people you genuinely care about! I just received the tentative itinerary for this weekend and I'm sure we won't get to HALF of the things on the list. Although, I'm hoping we all get some time under the sun. I haven't had many chances to bask in the sunshine lately as I have been faithful to my work obligations. My main wish for the weekend is that the weather cooperates and we, at least, have the chance to do everything on the itinerary. Well... that, and I hope they all like my sangria!

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I started my summer gig at Queens College this week. For the remainder of the summer semester, I will be an all-purpose tutor for the Sociology department. I won't make as much as I do when I'm teaching. Next summer, I can assure you that I will be teaching some electives and, thus, making better money. Nevertheless, it's a good way to keep myself busy and ensure some form of additional income in the meantime.

I conducted a writing workshop last night where I broke down the writing process (from the initial phase of thinking of your topic to fine tuning the final draft of a paper). When I started the lesson, I was a bundle of nerves and I didn't loosen up as quickly as I would have liked. I feel I could have done much better. Part of my anxiety was due to having to do the presentation in front of a colleague as opposed to flying solo with my own class. Thankfully, we get along well and whatever feedback I get from him will be off the record. It will be good to know what I can work on for next semester. I can also apply that knowledge to other Sociology classes when I decide to branch out beyond my statistics classes

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For those of you who are curious (and to foolishly provide some assistance to my stalkers), here are my other public profiles you may want to visit one day, if you're so inclined:
1 - www.twitter.com/agsilver51 (Where I get to sound off - and mouth off - about my life and experiences: 140 characters at a time)
2 - www.posterous.com/agsilver (I don't use it to blog... that's what THIS site is for, silly. But I do like to post pics here occasionally - typically those taken on my phone. Check it out when you have a chance and lemme know what you think)
3 - www.bedwetter.com (I'm just making sure you're still paying attention!)
4 - tiny.cc/lod7R (A link to my "Rate My Professors" page where you can find reviews I've gotten this far after just one semester)

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I'm not sure when I will get back on the ol' blog again so expect a mini-hiatus (the usual 6-10 days) unless I get inspired this weekend.

Until next time, faithful reader......

48 Hours (the June 6-7 Edition)

Ladies and gents, now that was one helluva weekend!!!

I had a pretty packed weekend and loved every second of it. I got to do 4 different activities with 4 different social circles! Apparently, diversity was the theme of the weekend!

Let's review how things went down:
Saturday (6/6) - MORNING:
Drove to Belmont Park to watch the 141st running of the Belmont Stakes (the 3rd leg of horse racing's Triple Crown)! An old HS friend had an extra ticket and I was the first to step up to take it off his hands. I've always wanted to go to the three major races of the year (Kentucky Derby and the Preakness are the other two for those of you who don't know) and finally got to check one off my To-Do-List. =)

There was also the chance that Calvin Borel would be the first person to win horse racing's Triple Crown on two different horses. He won the Kentucky Derby on Mine That Bird and won the Preakness riding Rachel Alexandra (the first filly to win at Pimlico in 85 years). On this day, Borel would be back on the morning favorite, Mine That Bird.

I arrived with plenty of time to go over the past performances for the horses in the first few races. Post time for the first race was roughly 11:30am and I stayed until the finish of the Belmont Stakes (race #11 on the day with a post time of 6:30pm). I did place some bets throughout the day. I won early and won some on the big race but overall it was a net loss. Oh well, that's why they call it gambling. There were 2 other races after the Belmont Stakes but I had plans for the night and wanted to get home, have a decent meal, get a workout in, before going out. The lack of funds with which to gamble also played a major role in that decision, sadly... haha.

[Oh, for those of you wondering, Calvin Borel was NOT able to make history on this evening. Mine That Bird's half-brother Summer Bird win the big race taking the lead with about 1/8 mile left. Mine That Bird finished 3rd.]

NIGHT:
Saturday was a friend's birthday and I had been looking to hang out with her and the rest of the crew. She's been working so hard finishing up grad school (Columbia University, tyvm) that she's pretty much been MIA for most of the last year and a half. If it wasn't for Facebook and the major gatherings in that time (the Asqui wedding, BBQ, etc), I may not have ever seen her at all in that time. I got a ride from my friend who agreed to be my designated driver for the night only because he says he's been boozing too much lately and wanted to keep his alcohol intake to a minimum (better for me!).

When we arrived at the bar/lounge, it was pretty empty and the DJ was mediocre at best. Not simply because of his song choices but his transitions were bad as well. Most of you who know me personally know I do NOT dance. I get more enjoyment from the people I'm around and the music that's being played. A bad DJ can ruin my night faster than a drunk chick vomiting on my leg (which thankfully has never happened to me). This was shaping up to be a difficult night for me because I love the people I was hanging with but the DJ was really ruining it for me. I realized that leaving to another spot was NOT an option so I only had two choices left: (1) drink MUCH more or (2) take a breather and regroup. I went with option #2.

I decided to leave the lounge for a few minutes and go for a walk to collect myself. I reminded myself I was there for my homegirl's b-day and shouldn't let one bad DJ ruin that. I also didn't want to be everyone else's buzzkill. I came back and decided to get another drink and make the most of the night.

When I got back something miraculous occurred. Around 2 am... the DJ actually developed some skills. I don't know if someone came by and handed him a CD with pre-recorded mixes or if he was "saving his good stuff" for the end of the night but I was having an AMAZING time! There was a good mix of all music... even a little Spanish Rock which warmed my soul ("...y yo estoy aquí... borracho y loco!!!....")

Keeping in touch on fb with new friends during my walk, enjoying good company in person at the lounge, and loving life by the end of the night! I can't expect Sunday to top this!

Sunday (6/7) - MORNING:
I get to finally play some softball this 2009 season!!! We were set to start at noon so I had the chance able to sleep in a little... or so I thought. That was until I woke up really really angry at 9:30am. I was upset because I had missed my flight on Lufthansa. And the stupid employee at the gate didn't even try and help me out when I was trying to figure out what my options were.

At least that's how things went down in my dream. I had such a vivid recollection of the dream, I swore it really happened to me. It wasn't until I was awake for a few minutes that I realized it was a dream. Very strange feeling... that's never happened to me before.

AFTERNOON:
Game time!! I barely got any warm-up throws and had NO BATTING practice whatsoever so, needless to say, the first game of our annual ALAS v Bookstore battle was not a shining moment for yours truly. I got overanxious at the plate, had very opportunities to make any defensive plays at third base (my fave position), and just felt really rusty in Game 1.

Game 2 was a different story as I swung the bat a little better and even had a chance to pitch as well. There were at least 2 innings I can recall clearly where my team got two quick outs to start the inning and then an error on a potential 3rd out led to rallies of three runs or more. Oh well, can't win 'em all!

Are we gonna do this again next week, fellas? Lemme know!!!

EVENING:
My sister was freaking out a little when she saw my Facebook status indicating I was playing softball. You see, folks. She had called me earlier in the week asking if I wanted to go with her to a concert at Jones Beach. I'm not one to turn down a free ticket and a chance to hang with the baby sis. I asked her who was performing and she tells me Nine Inch Nails and Jane's Addiction.

I know she's a huge JA fan (an old friend of hers put her on to them several years ago). I only knew a handful of songs by JA and NIN. I figured the best way to introduce myself to a full discography of these bands was to see them perform their songs live. The thought of being around crazed white kids with pent up rage did concern me for about 3 seconds but I told her "I'm down".

After reading my status on Facebook Sunday afternoon, my sis starts panicking as if I won't be able to make the show (now would be a good time to mention that she doesn't drive and didn't want to go alone). I reassured her that I would make it as long as she met me in Queens. All I would need is time to shower, eat something, and we'd be good to go.

I did just that and she met me at my place. Despite leaving "late", we got to the Jones Beach Theater at 7:30pm for a show that was scheduled to start at 7. I tried telling her 7:30 was NOT late but she just didn't want to miss JA. Needless to say, the show had not begun yet. I had overlooked one tiny detail that would come back to haunt me by the end of the night. I was underdressed for an outdoor, night time concert by the ocean. All I had on was a t-shirt and shorts. The shorts were not an issue but my upper body was FREEZING for more than half the show. My hoodie would have done me a world of good!

NIN opened the show at 7:50 and at one point in their set Trent Reznor told the crowd they were keeping the bullshit to a minimum so they could get in as much music as possible. Thank God for a band that GETS IT!!

I'd like to take this time to recognize the polite girl sitting in front of us who turned around to ask "Is the smell bothering you?" At first, I wondered "What smell?" Despite not smelling anything, I quickly realized what she meant. We're in an OUTDOOR venue. At a rock concert. I EXPECTED there to be a huge cloud over the seats (and not from the smoke machines)! I assured her it would not be a problem at all. She later turned around to ask (with her bloodshot blue eyes) if it would be alright for her to stand up. Really dude?? Go for it!!! Just don't be a dick about it and abuse it, you know? My sis is a short girl and if she stands up, she won't be able to see over you and your boyfriend. (FYI, they didn't abuse it)

Any who.... NIN did their thing... great start to the show!

About a half hour later, JA came on stage. But I was not in my seat. No. I was on a freaking line. For the men's room. For almost 25 minutes!!! How insane is that!?!? Thankfully, I was almost inside but I didn't get to see the excitement on my sis' face when they first came out. I have a mental picture of how it probably looked. I'll have to live with that.

I have to admit, despite how much fun JA's lead singer, Perry Farrell, had performing his set (my sis and I were SURE he was higher than the full moon), NIN was the better band on this night (Sorry, sis... lol).

After the contact high wore off, I drove my sis home (in Brooklyn) and made it back to my house (in Queens) around 1am. A great end to a wonderful weekend.

Until next time, faithful reader......

Citi Field and me (or The Streak That I Hope Never Ends)

Yes ladies and gents, the rumors are true.

The Mets have won all four games that I have seen in Citi Field (we will not EVER talk about those two games I went to this past April in Miami... played by the "pre-CitiField" Mets)

4 - 0 ! ! ! ! !

Unreal!!! The past few season when I've had the small ticket plans (6-8 tix), they've played terribly against everyone: the good teams and the bad teams alike. I think I can count on one hand how many games they won for me live the past 3 seasons in Shea Stadium. Nice to see the trend changing for the better in the new ballpark.

Game 1 - Marlins (April 27):
My first Mets game at Citi Field.
Gary Sheffield drops a routine fly ball in left in the top of the first and that runner was driven home by Jorge Cantu for the early 1-0 lead. It was shaping up to be one of those typical Mets games. But then Sheff makes up for the gaffe in the bottom half of the inning by driving in a run (with runners on 1st and 3rd) to tie the game. Several minutes later, with a 2-1 lead and the bases loaded, the #8 batter comes up to the plate. It's rookie catcher Omir Santos who is ONLY getting regular playing time because Brian Schneider is on the DL. What does the young man do?? Santos hits the first grand slam at Citi Field!!! A 6-1 lead in the first and the fans are going absolutely NUTS!!!

OH BTW, I HATE the new apple in center field. It doesn't have the same 'feel' as the old apple. And it also doesn't stay up long enough to take a picture of it. By the time you're done high fiving your fellow fans around you, the apple is already on it's way back into it's hole. I HATE IT!

As far as stadium noms, I was told I had to try Shake Shack. They did not disappoint! At first, I thought the burgers were a little overpriced but after a few bites, I can see why there was such a long line in the first place. The burgers were fantastic, the Shakemeister beer from Brooklyn Brewery was a nice compliment, and the vanilla shake... mmm mmm mmm. I decided I would hit up Shake Shack again next time at the ball park.

The game ends up being the Marlins 7th straight loss and gets the Mets to a game under .500 (9-10). Can it be that the Marlins really started the season 11-1 with the only loss coming to us in Miami at the start of the season?? Wow, the baseball gods are fickle.
Final Score: Marlins 1 - Mets 7

Game 2 - Pirates (May 8th):
My annual birthday game.
The Pirates always come to town during the Mets homestands around my birthday. The Amazins got off to an early start with 2 runs in the first only to give them right back to the Pirates in the 3rd. Going into the bottom of the 8th, it seemed certain this game would go to extra innings. It would be the first extra inning game at Citi Field but the Carlos-es had a different plan. Beltran singled in a run and Delgado followed up with a 3-run bomb to right center. K-Rod had been warming up while the Mets were batting but with another run driven in by rookie Omir Santos, the Mets brought out JJ Putz instead to finish up the game.

I had Shake Shack one again this game. Tried the Shack-cago dog. Not too bad. Not my first choice as their burgers are quite phenomenal but not too shabby. The Taqueria needs to be the next stop for me.

(Mets record is now 15-13: they're 6-3 since my last time in Citi Field)
Final Score: Pirates 3 - Mets 7

Game 3 - Nationals (May 26):
A drizzly Tuesday night at Citi Field. I was supposed to go to the game with someone and they flaked on me (you know who you are... I'm not about to name names). I was undecided about going to the game alone since no one was available to go at the last minute - perhaps they were afraid they'd melt in the rain(??). Who knows...

Nevertheless, I got up and went to the game alone. And I'm soooo glad I did. Not just because my streak remained intact but I got to see a glimpse of the old Livan Hernandez. The work horse who can throw nearly 120 pitches and go deep in a game. Turns out this was not only the Mets first complete game of the season but the Mets first complete game in CITI FIELD!! Good game, very little drizzle. You-who-shall-remain-nameless missed out!! (To be fair, this person did have a legitimate excuse for missing the game, so I'm not gonna hate too much)

I got to try the Taqueria food. The elotes are amazing (no Mets pun intended) but the tacos are very ho-hum. Nothing special and DEF not worth the price. Pleasantly surprised by one of the specialty beers though I cannot recall the name of the pilsner that I bought. My apologies to my beer connoisseurs, I'll get the name of the brew on my next trip to Citi Field.
(Mets record is now 25-20, they're 10-7 since my last visit to Citi Field)
Final Score: Nationals 1 - Mets 6

Game 4 - Marlins (May 29):
Last minute call from a friend on Facebook to check out a game. I was down and ended up meeting up with people at the Citi Field. I forgot my camera and was hoping that it wasn't the source of all the good luck I've had at Citi Field.

Big Pelf (Mets' starter Mike Pelfrey for those of you who don't know) had a great game as he went 7 2/3 innings and allowed only one run while throwing 108 pitches. The game was moving very quickly as both starters got some quick outs and allowed very few baserunners. It was already 2 hours into the game and we were tied 1-1 in the 8th. WTF!! Usually baseball games go about 3 innings every hour. Could this game be finished by 9:30? Not on this night since this time the game DID go to extra innings (unlike Game 2 against the Pirates). It was the 3rd extra inning game in Citi Field (the first two times were against Atlanta a few weeks ago).

In the 11th, after what felt like 20,000 throws over to first base, Sheffield steals 2nd and goes to third on a bad throw from the catcher. Tatis gets hit by the very next pitch by Sanches (which made me wonder if it was intentional but whatever... we've got runners on the corners, no double play plz!). Omir Santos comes to bat and hits the game winning single in the 11th. He is easily the player of the game as he drives in both runs today including a solo HR in the 5th.

I'm starting to think that maybe I'm Santos' good luck charm. lol. Let's check out the numbers for Santos in Citi Field:
With me sitting in Citi Field (4 games): 5 for 17 (.294), 3 runs, 2 HR, 7 RBIs, 2 SO
Without me in Citi Field (15 games): 10 for 36 (.278), 6 runs, 0 HR, 4 RBI, 7 SO

Santos hits his HR's at home when I'm there and he strikes out less. I'm just saying!!

I ate at Blue Smoke this time and had the pulled pork sandwich. Not too bad but slightly overpriced in my book considering it's served in a fairly small bun. Though it was quite filling so maybe it was worth it since I didn't eat lunch. I think I'll try the ribs at my next game.
(Mets record is now 27-20, they're 2-0 since my last time in Citi Field)
Final Score: Marlins 1 - Mets 2

My love affair with Citi Field has officially begun. I don't know when the honeymoon will be over but for now, I'm loving the new digs.

On a related side note, I'm still sitting here without Subway Series for the first time in a long time. *sigh* Let's see how that goes. LET'S GO METS!!!

Until next time, faithful reader......

Birthday Precursor (or B-day Hijinks - Part 1)

I've managed to finally recover from what had to have been the drunkest I've ever been (yes, my HS peeps, even more than that day on Harris Field) from one of the funnest and carefree birthday celebrations I've had.

The way early hours of my birthday went, I was seriously hoping that it would not be a foreshadowing of how the rest of the day would go.

A few days prior to my birthday, I had the bright idea to ring in the big day with a toast at midnight with several friends. Since it was all very last minute and people had to work the next morning (damn you, responsible folks! Killing my buzz before it even starts!), I ended up taking a ride to Brooklyn to enjoy a drink with my best bud, Jorge. It was likely that he wouldn't make my weekend festivities so I figured I'd bring the celebration to him. We've known each other for so long (damn, dude has it really been 20-plus years?!?!) and celebrating a b-day without him is still a foreign idea to me.

I made the drive down the BQE after teaching my night class (no, I did NOT let them out early, though I was tempted). My travel was somewhat delayed due to construction by the northern end of the Gowanus Expressway. Fortunately, I made it to Jorge's place around the time I had initially anticipated (close to 11PM).

Rather than hitting up one of the dive bars in Bay Ridge/Bensonhurst, I suggested we drive up to Park Slope for a place with a bit of ambiance. What I didn't consider was that there ARE NO actual BARS/PUBS in Park Slope. Almost all of the establishments in that area are restaurants/bars and when the kitchen closes, the place closes. I became increasingly frustrated as we drove up and down 5th and 7th Avenues seeing only closed storefronts. I found out later that just about every place closes at 11PM midweek in Park Slope. How annoying. I'm beginning to HATE Brooklyn.

Jorge then offered an excellent idea. Why not swing by downtown Brooklyn? We reasoned that there should be an open bar somewhere on Flatbush Avenue. After driving a few blocks on Flatbush, we began to question the logic behind this decision. That was, until we saw an Applebee's. Resigned to the fact that we may not find anything better, we pulled up and parked. When we tried to open the door we were surprised to find it locked. You see, all this driving around killed about an hour and it was now 5 minutes after midnight. On this particular night, Applebee's closed their doors at midnight.

All I wanted was a freaking drink at midnight. A midnight toast to ring in the ol' b-day. AAARRRGGGHHH!!!! (Yes, just like Charlie Brown... lol)

We decided the dive bars around his way were the last places we would visit but going to a diner may be the next best available option. On our first attempt, we found a diner where we could have a small meal and, thankfully, a drink or two from the bar. I ordered myself a Tequila Sunrise and J had a Whiskey Sour.

Shortly after ordering my drink, I proclaimed: "I have experienced so much disappointment after disappointment tonight, I'm just happy this drink will have some alcohol in it. But I still expect it to taste like ass."

Thankfully, the drink was wonderful. Good enough to order a second one, which I drank while eating my spinach/cheese omelette. I know that may not sound very appetizing to some of you but, trust me, it went surprisingly well.

My sister called me while we were eating and I got to speak to her for a little while which was nice. Don't get to speak to her as often as I would like. I'm just not a phone person. What can I say...

Reflecting back on the last night start to my birthday, although it didn't turn out the way I had originally planned, I had a great time with those close to me (even if one was via phone). I didn't know how the rest of the day would turn out, but I knew that if this was a foreshadowing, I was in for a fun-filled birthday.

But, I had to survive another work day first. Keep in mind, it was around 3AM when we left the diner (and close to 4 when I finally got home), I didn't expect to be productive at work the next day AT ALL.

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Other memorable quotes from the late night "pre b-day" outing:

(1) "That looks more less gay."

(2) "I don't think "Argh, fuck you motherfucker" is pirate speak."

(3) "Brooklyn is f'n whack!"

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Ahhhh... good times, good times. HAHAHA... I guess you had to have been there.

Until next time, faithful reader......

Legacy

I'd like to welcome to my new readers and welcome back my loyal followers,

A good friend started working with Jose Cuervo recently. Yes, the tequila company and not some individual with the same name. Earlier today, he commented (via his Facebook status) about how he tasted one of their brands of tequila and it made me think about my grandparents.

My maternal grandfather owned a plenty of land in Portugal when my mother was young. Included in his list of properties was a vineyard where he grew his own grapes and made his own wine. He had a large staff that would perform most of the manual labor in the vineyards - cultivating the grapes, picking them, and processing them. The wines were bottled and sold regionally. The family has since sold the vineyard and it's part of some large conglomerate in Portugal.

My paternal grandfather worked at the Bavaria brewery in Colombia. [If you're curious about the brewery's timeline in Colombia, click here] His position with the brewery is the equivalent of what would now be considered the Quality Control specialist. Essentially, he spent his days drinking different batches of beer and putting his stamp of approval on beer before it was bottled. The brewery is still there but I don't think any of my relatives are employed with them any more.

You'd figure with this legacy of wine and beer in my family's history I would be a connoisseur of either wine or beer, if not both. Sadly, I'm not. This is not to say I don't appreciate a good beer or wine but I know very little about the different varieties, types, styles, tastes, etc. of wine and/or beer.

Growing up, my parents didn't really have much of an influence on my ability to discern good wine/beer from bad ones. My parents had simple tastes and a limited budget. They drank what they liked and what they were familiar with. My father may have drank different types of alcohol but he drank the same brands. Also, his taste buds were shot from decades of smoking. If tabasco sauce barely registers on your tongue and you can eat jalapeño peppers (seeds, pith, and all) in a few bites, it's not merely being accustomed to the taste and 'heat'. He barely sensed it at all! My mother also had a select few brands of wines that she would drink and wasn't much of a beer/liquor drinker. She'd have the occasional cocktail at a party but wasn't adventurous at all.

When I first started going out, I also stuck with what I knew.
--Beers: Coronas. Coors Light. Sagres (if I was at a function with my mom's family). Budweiser (if nothing else was around - just to have a beer in hand).
--Wines: To me, all reds were the same and whites were kinda sissy even though they went decently with seafood dishes.
--Liquors: Long Island Iced Teas to get you f'd up quicker (an easy way to get the 'poor man's buzz'). Rum and Coke (because a friend once told me they're really easy to make and hard to mess up).

After a few years, I explored other alcoholic beverages... more on the liquor end of the alcoholic spectrum: Red Devils (an suitable, if somewhat girly, alternative to the LI Iced Teas); White Russians; Anything with Kahlua!; Mojitos (mint in a drink? I was perplexed at first since I couldn't imagine how it could possibly work); I discovered the wonders and horrors of tequila - I understood why so many people avoided it (taste and the 'next day' effects) and why so few liked it; also, Aguardiente (as an expression of my Colombian-ness!).

However, without a 'guide', I was a blind man being led by other blind folks. My friends knew what they liked and also didn't seem to explore beyond those boundaries. I did what I could to try new drinks: incorporating them into Jello was my initial fascination but learning how to make 'party' drinks was also fun (punch, margaritas, etc.)

In recent years, I've decided to take some initiative and try buying different types of red wines. I did this to explore the differences between each type of wine and also to see if there really IS a difference between 'cheap' and 'expensive' wines. I don't feel I'm ready for a wine tasting session yet but definitely have that in my sights for the near future.

Though I may be viniculturally challenged, it was my personal exploration into reds that led me to discover my sangria recipe. The BFS actually ("Best Fn Sangria"). It's a labor of love but everyone that has tried it has given me very positive feedback thus far. I'm constantly looking to improve upon the original recipe and some tweaks have worked while other haven't. Though I have friends who can whip up a quick sangria (and delicious) at the bar, I'm a big believer that a better sangria can be made if the ingredients are given the chance to sit and "get to know each other a little" - preferably overnight but it can be for as few as 4 hours or so.

I was also introduced to Belgian beers by a friend earlier this year (didn't 2009 just start?!?!?), . I realized I have a lot to learn about beer and may have to include a beer tasting in my future as well. Maybe a few beerfests are what I need this summer/fall. Not just to get sloshed but to enjoy the different tastes and qualities of each type of beer.

Maybe the ghosts of my grandfathers can stop by once in a while and provide me with some guidance as well. Or maybe that would be insanely creepy and would scare the bejeezus outta me!! (Hmmm... be careful what you wish for, Alan...) I'll be sure to let you all know if I get any 'late night visitors'.

Until next time, faithful reader.......

Unexpected Motivation

I've plateaued at 198 lbs, y'all. I've been stuck at that weight (approximately) for over a month now. I figure my body has gotten accustomed to my training and I need to make a change in my routine.

Sunday morning, I was going to play soccer at 8AM - which I hope will become a weekly ritual and will be a great way to shake my body up a little. Sadly, I forgot to set my alarm after getting home Saturday night just before 2AM (early for some, late for others). I overslept and didn't make it to the field in time to actually play but I got to check out the surface (astroturf... that'll be a first), scout some of the better players (as a defender, I would like to see who I'm up against... I can take these guys), and got a sense of their style of play. I was introduced to some of the players and they know to expect me next week. Should be fun!

I may also have the opportunity to play 'enforcer' once in a while. This should be fun as well and would allow me to release some pent up aggression. I pity the first man to earn my wrath on the pitch - and I DO mean 'earn'. I don't lash out at fellow players simply for the sake of it. We're not professionals and we're not getting paid so I'm not looking to hurt anyone. Yet I'm not against policing players on the field, especially when they get overly aggressive with my teammates.

Last night, while hanging out with some old friends, plans were also set to play handball in the afternoon today. I had decided I would play soccer in the morning and handball afterwards. When I left my friends last night, I mentioned that I was playing soccer early so I needed to sleep a little. After all, I'm not in my 20's any more... haha.

Turns out my friends were 'concerned' about me playing soccer and handball. They reasoned that since that is something they can't do now at their age - since they feel they are fitter than I am - that for me to try the 'doubleheader' would be ridiculous. I was offended when I found out about this and now have added motivation to push myself even harder, both in preparation for the High Rock Challenge in April and for my continued fitness goals. I'm so insulted that I'm upset that they judged my determination and how DARE they question my dedication.

I am certain I will be insanely sore after next Sunday. The aches and pains are worst after the first time. But the body adapts and I know I will get accustomed to that level of physical exertion. I am also sure that there will be a weekend or two where I will pass on one or both of the sports to take a break during on some random Sunday. But I'll be damned if I sit here and let these friends of mine question whether I can do this!!

You know what drives me?
- At my age, things are pretty much going downhill. I'm even more convinced of the accuracy of the old saying "Youth is wasted on the young." This is because many things are taken for granted by young people, especially when it comes to the body. Once the body starts to slow down, there are two options available to you: (1) accept it or (2) balance it the negative effects of aging with added physical activity.
- The need to be healthier. This is where my diet comes into play. I don't eat as badly as I did in the past. I've eliminated many eating bad habits (overeating at meals, emotional eating, 'blind' snacking), I snack less often, when I snack I eat smarter, and I eat a more balanced diet. I, by no means, follow the plan perfectly 100% of the time but I make a conscious effort to eat well whenever I can.
- Finally, when my weight first reached 200 lbs. I was stunned. I was weight training hard at the time and simply attributed it to the muscle mass I may have gained during my training. I can't say for sure whether it was true or not but I know that it was nearly 10 years ago that I hit that milestone and it wasn't until recently that I dropped below 200. I don't ever want to be 200+ again. Simple as that.

Until next time, faithful reader.....

Never again (at least for the forseeable future)

I swear I cannot look at another of bottle of Tangueray the same way again. No really, it's true. (I even considered removing the picture I placed in this post.)

My drink of choice lately has been Tangueray and tonic practically each and every time I've gone out. But after this weekend, the sight of that green bottle makes my stomach churn. Whatever is left in that bottle is still sitting in the black bag given to me at the liquor store. A whirlpool swirls in my belly at the memory of that clear elixir pouring into a glass, sans ice, that was much too large for the drink.

Saturday started out like any other day. OK ... not exactly. I got up early to help a friend move, as promised. I didn't sleep in as I normally do and I barely had enough time to have breakfast. I managed to make myself a cup of coffee and grabbed half a bagel on the way out the door. It was a cold morning but the move itself only took about 90 minutes. I stuck around her new studio apartment in the afternoon to help put together some Ikea furniture and tidy up a little bit.

For a few days, I was needing an escape and even considered driving a pretty long distance to get away from it all. I didn't do that but went for the next best option... drinking myself silly. Long story short... between a game of Trivial Pursuit - 90's Edition (don't ask, lol), a 1L bottle of Tangueray, Key Food brand tonic water (it was all I could find on such short notice), and an empty stomach, it all made for a very messy Saturday night and a hangover on Sunday morning.

For those of you who are curious, I am OK now but didn't do anything really productive this weekend. I also missed out on a little gathering at an old friend's house on Sunday which I truly regret. (I hear the food was awesome!) I'll be sure to make it up to her the next time she hosts another event.

With the snow day today, I was able to delay my lesson for the day class but I still need to finalize my lesson for the evening class tomorrow night. I also need to make tweaks to the syllabus for the day class. Shoot... I need to find time to grade the first lab assignment they've completed, as well. *sigh*

Ahhh... such is the life of a new adjunct. All this, while trying to maintain some semblance of a social life. It hasn't been easy but I'm managing somehow...

I've got some things to get back to here.

Until next time, faithful reader.

My wanderlust has been satiated ... for now

Hello,

You've probably been spoiled rotten by my many posts to start this year. Nevertheless, I've been keeping busy lately and haven't had as much time as I'd like to post this past week.

*sigh* Where to begin...

This past weekend, I had a severe case of wanderlust. I had originally planned out my weekend where I'd spend time with old friends (Saturday) and some family (Sunday). Unfortunately, I had gotten paid on Friday and felt the urge to get away from NY... away from everything and everyone... just get in the car and drive away... despite my plans.

I happened to be chatting with a friend online and told her of my need to getaway. I didn't have a destination in mind at the time and she had been very encouraging offering options for byways. I figured going back up to Boston, MA would do me some good. And perhaps a stop in Providence, RI on the way just to take in the vibe all over again would be refreshing to my soul. Ultimately, I'm not quite sure if it was through my powers of persuasion or simply kismet, she agreed to accompany me on this overnight trip. I grabbed my gym bag and packed it for the 2 day trip and went to her place.

As my friend walks over to the car, I wondered whether she really was prepared for the trip or maybe she just packs really light. When she sees my bag in the back seat, she looks at me and says "Oh, you were serious." Now, I know I tend to be pretty sarcastic, and it is difficult to gauge sarcasm in an IM, but I was devastated. I needed to leave!!

Just minutes ago, I was grateful to have a travel companion. Now this?? I was ready to tell her to just stay home so that I could head off alone. Much to my surprise, after explaining that I really was serious, she told me to give her 5 minutes to get a few things together in an overnight bag. I was back on my travel high and ready to hit the road.

At this point, snow had been falling for a few hours already and the roads were not only covered in dirty snow and slush but they were not salted or plowed yet. We driving in some terrible weather. Making matters worse (in terms of road conditions) was that we did not take the I-95 but rather the Merritt Parkway. Needless to say, we didn't quite make it to Providence on Saturday but we did stopped at an awesome little coffee shop in South Norwalk, CT called Caffeine. If you happen to be in the area, or driving through, take a load off and relax for a few. The decor is wildly clashing IMO but the place is quaint and cozy.

I also had the (guilty) pleasure of introducing my friend to the evil empire known as Ikea when we reached New Haven, CT. She had never been there and I was more than happy to take her inside to the Swedish wonderland. We didn't have time to hit the food court since we got there after they closed (they closed early due to the weather so we would have missed out either way). We did have some very helpful Ikea workers tell us where we could find lodging for the night and some eats nearby.

Sunday's leg of the trip started with more snow and more cleaning of the car (much as it had during practically EVERY stop on Saturday!). Yet this time things were a little different. The car wasn't covered in snow, as it had been the day before. No, on this morning, we had ice covering the entire car. Don't believe me?? See the pictures below.

OUTSIDE:











INSIDE:










Snow was no longer in the forecast for the day and after clearing off the car, we returned to Ikea for breakfast. Before you cast judgment, it was close by and the price was pretty good for the meals we got. The next stop was Mystic, CT. A fairly small town but one that my friend wanted to see so I showed her around as best I could (which, naturally, means we got somewhat lost... lol). Her love of anchors was rewarded as she managed to get a picture of a decent sized anchor on display near the harbor. After driving over the drawbridge over Mystic River, we made our way to Providence. (For those of you wondering, it wasn't JUST the name of a movie. It DOES actually exist.)

Providence is a city I happen to love dearly despite having only been there once before. Something about the small city vibe that seems to invigorate me. I'm not one to consider leaving NYC but if I ever did... Providence would be on my VERY short list of destinations. I wish I could tell you why. There isn't one specific thing. It's just the overall feel of the city. It's like a node of revitalizing energy emanates from the ground when I'm there. It's very strange but I love it. I applied to Brown for grad school in the hopes of entering their Demography program. After walking through the campus and visiting the local area, that desire extended to the entire city and not just that school. I almost felt like I needed to be there.

Now here I was a few years later... and I felt like I was back home.

The weather was not conducive to walking around but there really doesn't seem to be much to do in Providence but walk and admire the mismatched architecture. At least this was the case for us who arrived without an itinerary or destination in mind. There were no list of tourist attractions. Just Google Maps and an iPhone. An iPhone that needed to be charged!!

After walking down Benefit Street (and back on South/North Main St.), we decided to find a charger so that my navigator could have a functioning phone. Throughout Saturday, it proved to be indispensable and I was willing to go the extra mile to find a place where a car charger could be purchased (preferably one with audio playback capabilities). I was sure that we would need the phone on the ride back home.

To quote my friend: "Providence is all anchors and hills and bliss and NO FUCKING SIGNS but hey is that too much to ask for?"

After a few futile attempts at purchasing the charger at Radio Shack, Staples, and FYE, (not to mention futile attempts at FINDING the freaking strip mall where these stores were located!) we gave in and went to the Apple Store at a mall in Providence. With charger in hand and a rumbling in our bellies, we made our way to a restaurant on the other side of town. By now, we had driven back and forth often enough to know our way around the city already. We had dinner at a Portuguese restaurant - a Madeiran restaurant for those of you requesting more details.

On the ride home, we vibed to a variety of good music courtesy of the charging iPhone. We returned home much the same way we made it up to this area: down the I-95 until we could hop back onto the Merritt Parkway. Though the ride wasn't completely without incident.

My friend had to pee pretty badly... and when she mentioned it to me, I agreed to stop at the next rest area. I missed the exit... of course I did. What else would I do on this trip?? The next chance I had to get to off the highway... I got out one exit early. *SIGH* I should have expected something like that would happen.

We eventually made it to a Dunkin Donuts where you will find the worst men's room door in the history of any public establishment!! It starts easy to open, then it gets really hard to open. By the time you exert extra pressure to open the door completely, it loosens up again. It's a cruel practical joke on the customers of that Dunkin Donuts. I was looking around for the video cameras.

That's where the final pics in this photo set were taken and where I bought my final cup of coffee for the day. That coffee cup would only be half full by the time I managed to get a sip out of it because my travel buddy felt it was her prerogative to help herself to my coffee. Madness!! It was getting late on Sunday night and she dares deprive the driver of his coffee?? Someone has a death wish.

We made it back without incident (other than dodging two fools who decided to play a hybrid of chicken and leapfrog with their cars in the passing lane!). My friend had to pee yet again and she managed to get back upstairs with her Ikea booty and overnight bag in hand.

As for me... I came back relieved, revitalized, and refreshed. I had an amazing weekend and will be eternally grateful that my friend went with me. It wouldn't have been the same had I gone alone.

For the people I upset that day by flaking on our plans and for ignoring your phone calls and texts, I apologize. I needed this time to disconnect from everything that kept me grounded in NY. If you know me and care about my well-being, I know you will understand.

This was truly one of the best road trips I've ever had!!

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I bid you farewell for now. Until next time, faithful reader...

Happy Holidays and Thank You's

This is a special holiday blog:

I'm not one to get caught up in the holiday spirit but I felt this needed to be said:

First, I'd like to take this time to thank all of my readers for checking out my lil' ol' blog. I never expected to get any readers outside of my home base here in Queens, NY. But I've had hits in CA, SC, HI, MN, Canada, and even Italy. To all of you, thank you! I hope you hang on tight and buckle yourselves in cuz this train ain't stoppin' any time soon! :)

Secondly, for this holiday season, I'd like to take some time to thank some people for being in my life. I won't name names - sorry to disappoint you. =)

To those of who who have had my back through the darkest of nights and the worst of storms; to those who have been fair-weather friends and those who kicked me when I was down; to those with whom I've shared my greatest triumphs and successes; to those who have broken my heart and caused me pain; to those who have shown me joy and taught me to love; to those who I have known my whole life and those who I've met recently; to those who I have lost touch with and those who I have reconnected with; to those who have offered me sage advice and those who have led me astray; to acquaintances I've known for brief moments and to those who will be in my life forever; to those who overreact to me and my ways to those who totally get me; to the wingmen and the cockblockers; to my alcoholics and my non-drinkers; and to those who I will grow apart from and those who I have yet to meet...

Thank you for being a part of my life. I do not take the time to measure how big or small your contribution has been because, ultimately, without any of you I would not be the man I am today.

My hope this Christmas (and holiday season) is that you recognize the impact that others have had in your lives and that you take some time out to appreciate them even if it's in a small way. I can't ask anyone to be anything more than who they are. And for that I appreciate you, reader. Thank you for taking time to visit my page.

During this holiday season, may your days be full of joy, hope and love, may your cups be full, and may you enjoy the time spent together with family and friends for these are the moments that create memories for a lifetime.

To you, faithful reader:
Merry Christmas. Happy Hanukkah. Happy Kwanzah.

Until next time......

P.S. Be sure to check out the Special Xmas edition of the MCB on the right column of this page.

The meaning of life... (on the blogosphere)

The other day I was talking with a friend about blogging and what it has meant to me. Despite only writing for 5 weeks now, this blog has come to be a source of comfort and has given me an outlet for my thoughts that I never imagined I could have.

I came to realize that blogging is much more personal that I first realized. It is also very cathartic. Yet, due to the very personal nature of the words, the author of any blog leaves themselves exposed, in way. It is a double-sided sword as the vulnerability can be very liberating and at the same time it can cause trepidation in future postings.

I can only speak for myself when it comes to blogging. Nevertheless, I think it can apply to others who decide to walk this path as well.

The conversation I mentioned previously came about as a result of a request for suggestions for this person's own blog. I felt this would be disingenuous to his audience as it wouldn't be HIS blog but rather a reproduction of someone else's idea.

Below are some of my observations from that very chat:
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*sigh* never mind
if i think of anything that you can do weekly...
then it wont really be YOUR blog...
blogs have to be more... organic...
a reflection of who YOU are...
you know?
YOU need to create a uniqueness to your blog
it needs to be for (and from) your brain...
and don't fear experimentation
try something out and if it doesn't work for you... then move on to something else
if you work too hard to try and make a poignant statement... it usually falls flat
NO
you DON'T need a concept...
that's what I'm trying to say...
the "concept" should just be the natural evolution and maturation of the blog itself
otherwise, the novelty wears off and what was deemed cute and innovative simply becomes a gimmick
the blog needs to have an identity...
but it also needs to be "born" out of the writing effort
not something a friend suggested... or b/c you have a weekly deadline to post...
I established a self-designated weekly deadline b/c for me it's cathartic
not b/c I'm trying to FORCE myself to write
even tho I may bitch about writing and trying to get something in weekly... it's more b/c I have so much to say and don't feel everything I want to say needs to be out there for everyone to read
so the stress is in how to limit myself but stay true to the nature of the blog...
THAT is my struggle
but, again, your blog has to be a reflection of you
cuz otherwise... it's just work
and I don't volunteer my time for bullshit

you see how you WANTED to write...
that's how it should be
the desire to write should come naturally.. and it should be something you WANT to do
(it also shouldn't be a DIARY unless you're a masochist and WANT to bare your soul to everyone)
for me... the general theme (and purpose) of my blog is to have a repository for random thoughts that occur to me...
I chose that specifically b/c I didn't want to pigeonhole myself into one topic...
I wanted to have the freedom to write about goddamn near anything
but with a purpose... to get things off my chest or to simply put my thoughts to paper (digital shapeless paper... lol)

I try and put my best foot forward
in terms of my writing style... not necessarily in content... lol
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And ladies and gents, in many ways, this... this is the essence of what I am doing here. If you want to continue on this wild ride with me, then stay tuned as there are several things I am working on for me (and I suppose in some ways for you as well). Expect a handful of entries between now and the new year.

With that, I shall leave you for now, until next time faithful reader...

Calling all Facebook addicts

I thought some of you may enjoy this one... Consider this a stall tactic until my next post. ENJOY!

Why we’re no longer friends on Facebook.


Hi. This is awkward. Well, awkward for you anyhow. You might have noticed that I recently terminated our friendship on Facebook. Please try not to be too upset. This decision is by no means a reflection on you or on the validity of your thoughts, feelings, and posted items. I’m just really, really tired of hearing about them. The reasons for your termination include the following:

* Status updates that could apply to every single person on Facebook. Really, you hate Monday? You’re glad it’s Friday? You’re looking forward to the long weekend? Well somebody alert the goddam media.
* Using your status updates solely as a vehicle to promote your website, consulting company or crocheted cat sweater store on Etsy. Violation will be considered particularly flagrant if accompanied by a sleazy headshot and words like “Deals” or “Opportunity.”
* Gratuitous banality.
* Overuse of exclamation points and/or emoticons. If you need them to tell me how! happy! you are!!!!!! you should probably just work on becoming a more effective writer :) !!!
* Missing the irony
* The sincere belief that song lyrics express your unique emotions
* Repeatedly harassing me about your lil green patch. I do not want to know about the size and/or color of your patch.
* Posting things everyone has already seen, fifteen times, more than a week after we saw it. What? Sarah Palin made an ass of herself with Katie Couric? Well let me get right on THAT.
* I never actually liked you anyway.

Please note that the above list of Facebook Friend Violations (FFV) is not intended to be exhaustive and that we reserve the right to terminate friendships for any reason and without prior notice. Kthx.

[The above entry was "Borrowed" from http://urbzen.com/]