My New Apartment (Part 3)

(NOTE: Sorry that this took weeks to write. This arguably has been the hardest of the 3 parts to write...... I hope it was worth your wait.)

If you need to catch up on the story, here are the links to Part 1 and Part 2

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My last week in the old apartment was fairly uneventful. The one thing I should have been dedicating my time to was packing. I had found the new apartment relatively quickly and there was a very small window to get my things over to the new place.

Instead, I was overwhelmed and exhausted with my work schedule. After getting home late after teaching each night, the LAST thing I wanted to do was PACK. Each night that week, I reasoned I had time the next day. That line of thinking didn't work when it got to be Thursday and I knew I had friends helping me move Friday night. I started getting things together in earnest on Thursday night.

I had devised a GENIUS plan to move all of my things to the new place. I was going to recruit several of my male friends to help me take furniture and bulk items to the apartment on Friday night and another group of "volunteers" would come by on Saturday (for the morning and afternoon) to take everything else. This would afford me a little extra time to pack (last minute, of course) on Friday night and MAYBE even Saturday morning. It would also allow me to rent the truck for only 24 hours.

The one snag in the ill-conceived plan was the timing of it all. You see, for those of you who don't remember, Halloween fell on a Saturday this year. I was basically asking my friends to help me move on Halloween weekend. This didn't prove to be a problem on Friday night as I got several dudes to come by and help me with what I figured was the more difficult part. The problem I had was finding people willing to help me out on Saturday. In the end, I only had about 3 people helping me the entire day.

I picked up the keys to my new apartment on Friday afternoon and picked up the UHaul truck before 5pm. My friends began arriving shortly thereafter for the big move. After several hours of heavy lifting, I took my boys out for some pizza and wings. The next morning, with many things still left to pack, I was disappointed to find that very few people were available to help me. Everyone's Halloween plans was beginning to interfere with my moving plans (grrrr). Not that I blame them but I have to admit being a little disappointed with the lack of help.

Eventually, with the help of a select few, I managed to get everything moved to my new apartment by 2AM (yes, you read that correctly*)! Oh, did I forget to mention that this was also when daylight savings time ended? When I say I was done at 2AM, I mean 2AM AFTER the clock was turned back one hour (so I was done by 3AM by my internal clock). There was JUST enough time for me to wash up and head out to my friend's Halloween party.

......

The first few weeks in the new place took some getting used to. There were many things about the life I knew that had been disrupted by the move. For starters, I was always used to living with SOMEONE. For most of my life it was my mom and for a couple of years it was with my ex. There is a lot to be said about having someone in close proximity to you. A residual closeness that I had gotten so used to and found so comforting. I didn't have to speak to the person but knowing someone was around was a nice feeling.

Now that I was living on my own I was more aware of how alone I was. Being forced to a position of self-sufficiency wasn't the issue. It was not having anyone to talk to. Not having anyone ask me a question or even tell me about their day. I had gotten so accustomed to these things in my life that I didn't realize how important it was for me to have someone with me.

There was so much alcohol that I had brought from the old apartment I figured I either needed to start drinking it myself or plan for the housewarming party. I recall the first night in my apartment I decided to have a celebratory cocktail and I made myself a margarita. The next night, I mixed myself another drink which I had with dinner. The following day I was in the mood for my 'nightly' drink while I was cooking. I had a pre-dinner cocktail and another one with dinner. Over the next few days, my own personal Happy Hour progressed to the point where I would have at least 3 drinks a night. I would go to bed buzzed daily (there were a few nights were I can say I was legitimately drunk).

This couldn't continue long term and there were two factors that led me to stop drinking as much as I did those first two weeks on my own. The first was a practical reason and it was financial. Drinking is an expensive hobby if you do too much of it and I wasn't ready to commit to buying a bottle or two every week. The second factor was much more personal. I've alluded to my father in my blog before... and it is partly due to him that I was able to stop drinking as much as I did.

My father was an alcoholic. He was in severe denial and I suspect that to this day he probably still believes he never really had a drinking problem. Though he had his moments of kindness, overall he was not a good man to my family. His way of coping with the stress in his life was to drink. To be honest, he was a better person when he was drunk. But it was this realization that really hit home with me.

I was dealing with the loneliness I was experiencing by distracting myself with my daily drinks. Alcohol was incorporated into nearly every aspect of my nightly routine. Since I got home late after teaching, I would mix a drink before starting to prepare dinner. I'd drink during dinner. I'd drink after dinner. I'd regularly fall asleep on the futon in the living room and wake up to a TV that had been on all night and staring at a half empty glass by my side.

I've since stopped drinking in excess thought I still enjoy a drink or two every now and again. In the weeks leading up to my move (and even a little after), many people told me that a person starts learning a lot about themselves when they live on their own. I didn't quite see that learning process manifest itself until I managed to clear my head of some clutter that had been keeping me from discovering who I am. I understand that the process is an ongoing one. It's an awakening of sorts; a discovery, if you will. And it is one that I'm genuinely excited about and I cannot wait to see where this journey takes me.

Until next time, faithful reader......

* A special thank you goes out to Anthony for his help on my moving weekend. He was the only one who came to help me on both days and even helped me almost until midnight on Halloween. He was heading out to the same Halloween party I was going to and I felt guilty that it was my move that made him go to the party so late. I am eternally grateful for his help during my move and I hope to someday repay him in kind. From the bottom of my heart, thank you brother! I owe you big time!

Gratitude and Acknowledgments

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

In the spirit of the season, I'd like to take this time to express my gratitude and thank everyone who has had an impact in my life this past year (in no particular order, a.k.a. as you pop into my head):

My Twitter peeps - I shout you out first because in a year of craziness you guys and gals have provided me a modicum of sanity (by showing me how much crazier you all are!! LMAO). Thanks for letting me vent without judgment and criticism, for offering me feedback when I needed it, and for giving me my daily dose of entertainment.

INNER CIRCLE:
Alexis - To the man I've known the longest out of anyone in my entire life. We may not have our spontaneous Dunkin runs like we used to back in the day, but I still appreciate you being there for me at the end of 2008 when I was at an emotional low point (and when we broke the "Dunkin code"). Though we may not hang out as much as I'd like, I will always value our friendship and want you to know I will always have your back!

Jorge/Frans - These two guys are my road dogs for life. Words cannot adequately relate how much I value having you guys as friends. We have been there for each other through thick and thin for the majority of our lives and I hope this continues until we're old and gray.

Tito - You're irreplaceable, bro. Forever my Cuban/DR brother for life!! Thank you for always making me feel at home (going back to our PS148 days!). I don't see you nearly enough and plan to remedy that in the upcoming year. When will you be coming up to NYC?

JV - Despite all the time and distance between us, it still feels like yesterday every time we meet. Memories of Madrigal will never fail to bring a smile to my face. Hopefully, the New Year 2010 plans will pan out.

Liz - I'm always grateful for my 'twin' who is always there to lend an ear (and to come asking me for advice which she NEVER takes). When are you inviting me to one of your dozens of annual cruises?

Sofia - You aren't old enough to read this or even know what these words mean. But I need to tell you that you have no idea how much your smile brightens up my day. I can't help but laugh and smile every time I see the "Palpatine" video I took of you during one of my recent visits. Tio Alan loves you very much!

Valued Friends/Colleagues:
Jessie/Miko/Tara - I'm grateful for having you ladies back in my life. Even if it is only for a few drinks every few months, I feel grounded when hanging with you all and value your friendship as much today (if not more) I did back in the BxSci days.

ULF - For the road trips we took at the start of the year! I had a blast (even though it may not have seemed like it at times). OH... and for late-night murder burgers.

BJB - For Trivial Pursuit and Tanqueray (never again!!). I owe you a drink (at least one)! In loving memory of Jean Pierre... lol

ES/KL - For helping me out on the day I needed it most (when you could have been doing ANYTHING else) and for not throwing your relationship in my face.

J(w/a'K')D - a new friend who I've been comfortable enough to laugh with and share with. I hope we remain friends for years to come. May there be many more FU's in our future. =)

EZ/MdlS - For being my 'release valve' when I needed a shoulder to lean on or someone to listen when I was beginning to keep things inside again.

SL/JO - For Vegas. Nuff said.

CM - The greatest TA a professor could ask for. Thank you for making my life so much simpler this semester!!

D - For our weekly chats in the department that cause me to be late for class.

My colleagues at QC - To those of who who continue to support me and offer guidance when I need it, I am eternally grateful!

Family:
All my cousins (NMR, AR, NP, VP, among others) - I adore you all and am glad we've been able to reconnect this year. I hope we continue to grow closer.

Euli - Thank you for being a part of my life again. I'm sorry for the time I spent away from you and hope that we can continue growing closer and learning from each other for a very, very long time. Love you, baby sis.

Mom - For always keeping me grounded and reminding me how to love unconditionally. For showing me how to be strong in the face of adversity. For showing me how to remain positive even when the world seems to be crumbling down around you. For teaching me to appreciate the little things in life and to value contact with our family, even if it is only for a moment. I love you, Mom.

Dad - Wherever you are. I no longer hate you like I did before. And though I have not forgiven you, I often wonder what you're doing now. For better or worse, te quiero viejo. You helped shape who I am today. There's not a week that goes by that I don't think of you (though that's not always a good thing, sir).

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I am sure there are others who have been left off this list. Do not take offense for this does not mean I care for you any less. It was not a bout of negligence that led me to keep you off of this list but rather I blame my faulty memory. But those of you who have had a significant impact in my life this past year know who you are. If not, I'll do my best to remind you who you are in the coming days, weeks, and years.

I wish you all a happy and healthy Thanksgiving 2009. May your feast tonight be bountiful, your drinks plentiful, and your hearts full of love and joy this holiday weekend.

Until next time, faithful reader...