I'll get right to it today....
I'm often bitter of people that don't have to "pay their dues". This sentiment is born out of a resentment that I have since I didn't have parents that could provide me with the opportunities that others seem to have. Mommy and daddy weren’t able to take care of me during my college years. Quite frankly, I had to eat shit for a while before I could get to a place where I was relatively comfortable in life. I can say with a certain sense of pride that everything I have now, for better or worse, was earned, literally, through much blood, sweat and tears. Please don’t think this is something I want others to experience because I don’t. But it annoys me when others have the support that I didn't have whether it is financial, emotional, or academic. It's been a long road but I am beginning to feel a sense of fulfillment now that I haven't had before.
It all started when my parents separated when I was in high school. I won’t go into the details as to why they separated or why my mother, my sister, and I moved out of our apartment. During my senior year, the three of us lived in a room that we rented on a weekly basis. Yes... you read that correctly. It was a single room where we somehow managed to set up two twin sized beds with the rest of our stuff carefully arranged in the remaining space. The kitchen and bathroom was shared with other renters and it was a miserable experience. But it kept us away from the dangerous man I used to refer to as “Dad”.
My senior year at Bronx Science, arguably the most important of the 4 HS years, was spent with more pressure than any teen should ever experience. The academic and social pressures of taking the SATs, applying for colleges, going to the prom, etc. were compounded with the worry of what we would be eating each night for dinner or managing my personal spending to make sure I didn’t put any financial pressure on my mom. I still wonder how we survived those years. I remember many days that I went without eating lunch. I would mooch off of friends to survive the day. I was really skinny back then. I was an active kid (handball during free periods, soccer on the quad during lunch) but the main reason I was thin was because I didn’t eat.
Fast forward to the first year out of high school when I was in my second semester at NYU. I had done pretty terribly in my first semester because I wasn’t really focused on my studies. I had a job at an electronics store and knew that I needed to work more hours to be able to help my mom out with the expenses. We had moved into an actual apartment by this time (a basement in a private house a block away). I ended up dropping out of NYU during that second semester. I hated to do it but I needed the money more than I needed the education.
I hated dropping out of NYU for several reasons. For one, I feel like I cheated myself out of a chance to get a degree from a well known school. Secondly, I hated giving up on college only because I needed to work and earn money to live. It’s one thing to have a part time job to cover frivolous expenses. But I had to work to help pay the rent, to have food in the fridge, to help my mom in any way I could since she now had two children in college each with their own expenses. I had very little financial aid and had a lot to pay back in student loans, with nothing to show for it. I managed to pay off my NYU student loan several years ago and even paid the last 1/3 of the parent loan my mom took out for me as well. I felt guilty that she put had to her name and credit on the line for a kid who, essentially, wasted his time while in NYU. She worked long hours sometimes 6 days a week to get us to where we were. She dealt with the aggravation of talking to my father, who tried to exploit the fact that he was helping to pay for my sister’s college expenses as a way to be a part of all our lives again. [Side note: By this time, I had stopped speaking to him and didn’t want anything to do with him. I certainly wasn’t going to take his money thus giving him an excuse to get back into my life.]
To be continued next time, faithful reader......
Friday, June 12, 2009
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
48 Hours (the June 6-7 Edition)
Ladies and gents, now that was one helluva weekend!!!
I had a pretty packed weekend and loved every second of it. I got to do 4 different activities with 4 different social circles! Apparently, diversity was the theme of the weekend!
Let's review how things went down:
Saturday (6/6) - MORNING:
Drove to Belmont Park to watch the 141st running of the Belmont Stakes (the 3rd leg of horse racing's Triple Crown)! An old HS friend had an extra ticket and I was the first to step up to take it off his hands. I've always wanted to go to the three major races of the year (Kentucky Derby and the Preakness are the other two for those of you who don't know) and finally got to check one off my To-Do-List. =)
There was also the chance that Calvin Borel would be the first person to win horse racing's Triple Crown on two different horses. He won the Kentucky Derby on Mine That Bird and won the Preakness riding Rachel Alexandra (the first filly to win at Pimlico in 85 years). On this day, Borel would be back on the morning favorite, Mine That Bird.
I arrived with plenty of time to go over the past performances for the horses in the first few races. Post time for the first race was roughly 11:30am and I stayed until the finish of the Belmont Stakes (race #11 on the day with a post time of 6:30pm). I did place some bets throughout the day. I won early and won some on the big race but overall it was a net loss. Oh well, that's why they call it gambling. There were 2 other races after the Belmont Stakes but I had plans for the night and wanted to get home, have a decent meal, get a workout in, before going out. The lack of funds with which to gamble also played a major role in that decision, sadly... haha.
[Oh, for those of you wondering, Calvin Borel was NOT able to make history on this evening. Mine That Bird's half-brother Summer Bird win the big race taking the lead with about 1/8 mile left. Mine That Bird finished 3rd.]
NIGHT:
Saturday was a friend's birthday and I had been looking to hang out with her and the rest of the crew. She's been working so hard finishing up grad school (Columbia University, tyvm) that she's pretty much been MIA for most of the last year and a half. If it wasn't for Facebook and the major gatherings in that time (the Asqui wedding, BBQ, etc), I may not have ever seen her at all in that time. I got a ride from my friend who agreed to be my designated driver for the night only because he says he's been boozing too much lately and wanted to keep his alcohol intake to a minimum (better for me!).
When we arrived at the bar/lounge, it was pretty empty and the DJ was mediocre at best. Not simply because of his song choices but his transitions were bad as well. Most of you who know me personally know I do NOT dance. I get more enjoyment from the people I'm around and the music that's being played. A bad DJ can ruin my night faster than a drunk chick vomiting on my leg (which thankfully has never happened to me). This was shaping up to be a difficult night for me because I love the people I was hanging with but the DJ was really ruining it for me. I realized that leaving to another spot was NOT an option so I only had two choices left: (1) drink MUCH more or (2) take a breather and regroup. I went with option #2.
I decided to leave the lounge for a few minutes and go for a walk to collect myself. I reminded myself I was there for my homegirl's b-day and shouldn't let one bad DJ ruin that. I also didn't want to be everyone else's buzzkill. I came back and decided to get another drink and make the most of the night.
When I got back something miraculous occurred. Around 2 am... the DJ actually developed some skills. I don't know if someone came by and handed him a CD with pre-recorded mixes or if he was "saving his good stuff" for the end of the night but I was having an AMAZING time! There was a good mix of all music... even a little Spanish Rock which warmed my soul ("...y yo estoy aquí... borracho y loco!!!....")
Keeping in touch on fb with new friends during my walk, enjoying good company in person at the lounge, and loving life by the end of the night! I can't expect Sunday to top this!
Sunday (6/7) - MORNING:
I get to finally play some softball this 2009 season!!! We were set to start at noon so I had the chance able to sleep in a little... or so I thought. That was until I woke up really really angry at 9:30am. I was upset because I had missed my flight on Lufthansa. And the stupid employee at the gate didn't even try and help me out when I was trying to figure out what my options were.
At least that's how things went down in my dream. I had such a vivid recollection of the dream, I swore it really happened to me. It wasn't until I was awake for a few minutes that I realized it was a dream. Very strange feeling... that's never happened to me before.
AFTERNOON:
Game time!! I barely got any warm-up throws and had NO BATTING practice whatsoever so, needless to say, the first game of our annual ALAS v Bookstore battle was not a shining moment for yours truly. I got overanxious at the plate, had very opportunities to make any defensive plays at third base (my fave position), and just felt really rusty in Game 1.
Game 2 was a different story as I swung the bat a little better and even had a chance to pitch as well. There were at least 2 innings I can recall clearly where my team got two quick outs to start the inning and then an error on a potential 3rd out led to rallies of three runs or more. Oh well, can't win 'em all!
Are we gonna do this again next week, fellas? Lemme know!!!
EVENING:
My sister was freaking out a little when she saw my Facebook status indicating I was playing softball. You see, folks. She had called me earlier in the week asking if I wanted to go with her to a concert at Jones Beach. I'm not one to turn down a free ticket and a chance to hang with the baby sis. I asked her who was performing and she tells me Nine Inch Nails and Jane's Addiction.
I know she's a huge JA fan (an old friend of hers put her on to them several years ago). I only knew a handful of songs by JA and NIN. I figured the best way to introduce myself to a full discography of these bands was to see them perform their songs live. The thought of being around crazed white kids with pent up rage did concern me for about 3 seconds but I told her "I'm down".
After reading my status on Facebook Sunday afternoon, my sis starts panicking as if I won't be able to make the show (now would be a good time to mention that she doesn't drive and didn't want to go alone). I reassured her that I would make it as long as she met me in Queens. All I would need is time to shower, eat something, and we'd be good to go.
I did just that and she met me at my place. Despite leaving "late", we got to the Jones Beach Theater at 7:30pm for a show that was scheduled to start at 7. I tried telling her 7:30 was NOT late but she just didn't want to miss JA. Needless to say, the show had not begun yet. I had overlooked one tiny detail that would come back to haunt me by the end of the night. I was underdressed for an outdoor, night time concert by the ocean. All I had on was a t-shirt and shorts. The shorts were not an issue but my upper body was FREEZING for more than half the show. My hoodie would have done me a world of good!
NIN opened the show at 7:50 and at one point in their set Trent Reznor told the crowd they were keeping the bullshit to a minimum so they could get in as much music as possible. Thank God for a band that GETS IT!!
I'd like to take this time to recognize the polite girl sitting in front of us who turned around to ask "Is the smell bothering you?" At first, I wondered "What smell?" Despite not smelling anything, I quickly realized what she meant. We're in an OUTDOOR venue. At a rock concert. I EXPECTED there to be a huge cloud over the seats (and not from the smoke machines)! I assured her it would not be a problem at all. She later turned around to ask (with her bloodshot blue eyes) if it would be alright for her to stand up. Really dude?? Go for it!!! Just don't be a dick about it and abuse it, you know? My sis is a short girl and if she stands up, she won't be able to see over you and your boyfriend. (FYI, they didn't abuse it)
Any who.... NIN did their thing... great start to the show!
About a half hour later, JA came on stage. But I was not in my seat. No. I was on a freaking line. For the men's room. For almost 25 minutes!!! How insane is that!?!? Thankfully, I was almost inside but I didn't get to see the excitement on my sis' face when they first came out. I have a mental picture of how it probably looked. I'll have to live with that.
I have to admit, despite how much fun JA's lead singer, Perry Farrell, had performing his set (my sis and I were SURE he was higher than the full moon), NIN was the better band on this night (Sorry, sis... lol).
After the contact high wore off, I drove my sis home (in Brooklyn) and made it back to my house (in Queens) around 1am. A great end to a wonderful weekend.
Until next time, faithful reader......
I had a pretty packed weekend and loved every second of it. I got to do 4 different activities with 4 different social circles! Apparently, diversity was the theme of the weekend!
Let's review how things went down:
Saturday (6/6) - MORNING:
Drove to Belmont Park to watch the 141st running of the Belmont Stakes (the 3rd leg of horse racing's Triple Crown)! An old HS friend had an extra ticket and I was the first to step up to take it off his hands. I've always wanted to go to the three major races of the year (Kentucky Derby and the Preakness are the other two for those of you who don't know) and finally got to check one off my To-Do-List. =)
There was also the chance that Calvin Borel would be the first person to win horse racing's Triple Crown on two different horses. He won the Kentucky Derby on Mine That Bird and won the Preakness riding Rachel Alexandra (the first filly to win at Pimlico in 85 years). On this day, Borel would be back on the morning favorite, Mine That Bird.
I arrived with plenty of time to go over the past performances for the horses in the first few races. Post time for the first race was roughly 11:30am and I stayed until the finish of the Belmont Stakes (race #11 on the day with a post time of 6:30pm). I did place some bets throughout the day. I won early and won some on the big race but overall it was a net loss. Oh well, that's why they call it gambling. There were 2 other races after the Belmont Stakes but I had plans for the night and wanted to get home, have a decent meal, get a workout in, before going out. The lack of funds with which to gamble also played a major role in that decision, sadly... haha.
[Oh, for those of you wondering, Calvin Borel was NOT able to make history on this evening. Mine That Bird's half-brother Summer Bird win the big race taking the lead with about 1/8 mile left. Mine That Bird finished 3rd.]
NIGHT:
Saturday was a friend's birthday and I had been looking to hang out with her and the rest of the crew. She's been working so hard finishing up grad school (Columbia University, tyvm) that she's pretty much been MIA for most of the last year and a half. If it wasn't for Facebook and the major gatherings in that time (the Asqui wedding, BBQ, etc), I may not have ever seen her at all in that time. I got a ride from my friend who agreed to be my designated driver for the night only because he says he's been boozing too much lately and wanted to keep his alcohol intake to a minimum (better for me!).
When we arrived at the bar/lounge, it was pretty empty and the DJ was mediocre at best. Not simply because of his song choices but his transitions were bad as well. Most of you who know me personally know I do NOT dance. I get more enjoyment from the people I'm around and the music that's being played. A bad DJ can ruin my night faster than a drunk chick vomiting on my leg (which thankfully has never happened to me). This was shaping up to be a difficult night for me because I love the people I was hanging with but the DJ was really ruining it for me. I realized that leaving to another spot was NOT an option so I only had two choices left: (1) drink MUCH more or (2) take a breather and regroup. I went with option #2.
I decided to leave the lounge for a few minutes and go for a walk to collect myself. I reminded myself I was there for my homegirl's b-day and shouldn't let one bad DJ ruin that. I also didn't want to be everyone else's buzzkill. I came back and decided to get another drink and make the most of the night.
When I got back something miraculous occurred. Around 2 am... the DJ actually developed some skills. I don't know if someone came by and handed him a CD with pre-recorded mixes or if he was "saving his good stuff" for the end of the night but I was having an AMAZING time! There was a good mix of all music... even a little Spanish Rock which warmed my soul ("...y yo estoy aquí... borracho y loco!!!....")
Keeping in touch on fb with new friends during my walk, enjoying good company in person at the lounge, and loving life by the end of the night! I can't expect Sunday to top this!
Sunday (6/7) - MORNING:
I get to finally play some softball this 2009 season!!! We were set to start at noon so I had the chance able to sleep in a little... or so I thought. That was until I woke up really really angry at 9:30am. I was upset because I had missed my flight on Lufthansa. And the stupid employee at the gate didn't even try and help me out when I was trying to figure out what my options were.
At least that's how things went down in my dream. I had such a vivid recollection of the dream, I swore it really happened to me. It wasn't until I was awake for a few minutes that I realized it was a dream. Very strange feeling... that's never happened to me before.
AFTERNOON:
Game time!! I barely got any warm-up throws and had NO BATTING practice whatsoever so, needless to say, the first game of our annual ALAS v Bookstore battle was not a shining moment for yours truly. I got overanxious at the plate, had very opportunities to make any defensive plays at third base (my fave position), and just felt really rusty in Game 1.
Game 2 was a different story as I swung the bat a little better and even had a chance to pitch as well. There were at least 2 innings I can recall clearly where my team got two quick outs to start the inning and then an error on a potential 3rd out led to rallies of three runs or more. Oh well, can't win 'em all!
Are we gonna do this again next week, fellas? Lemme know!!!
EVENING:
My sister was freaking out a little when she saw my Facebook status indicating I was playing softball. You see, folks. She had called me earlier in the week asking if I wanted to go with her to a concert at Jones Beach. I'm not one to turn down a free ticket and a chance to hang with the baby sis. I asked her who was performing and she tells me Nine Inch Nails and Jane's Addiction.
I know she's a huge JA fan (an old friend of hers put her on to them several years ago). I only knew a handful of songs by JA and NIN. I figured the best way to introduce myself to a full discography of these bands was to see them perform their songs live. The thought of being around crazed white kids with pent up rage did concern me for about 3 seconds but I told her "I'm down".
After reading my status on Facebook Sunday afternoon, my sis starts panicking as if I won't be able to make the show (now would be a good time to mention that she doesn't drive and didn't want to go alone). I reassured her that I would make it as long as she met me in Queens. All I would need is time to shower, eat something, and we'd be good to go.
I did just that and she met me at my place. Despite leaving "late", we got to the Jones Beach Theater at 7:30pm for a show that was scheduled to start at 7. I tried telling her 7:30 was NOT late but she just didn't want to miss JA. Needless to say, the show had not begun yet. I had overlooked one tiny detail that would come back to haunt me by the end of the night. I was underdressed for an outdoor, night time concert by the ocean. All I had on was a t-shirt and shorts. The shorts were not an issue but my upper body was FREEZING for more than half the show. My hoodie would have done me a world of good!
NIN opened the show at 7:50 and at one point in their set Trent Reznor told the crowd they were keeping the bullshit to a minimum so they could get in as much music as possible. Thank God for a band that GETS IT!!
I'd like to take this time to recognize the polite girl sitting in front of us who turned around to ask "Is the smell bothering you?" At first, I wondered "What smell?" Despite not smelling anything, I quickly realized what she meant. We're in an OUTDOOR venue. At a rock concert. I EXPECTED there to be a huge cloud over the seats (and not from the smoke machines)! I assured her it would not be a problem at all. She later turned around to ask (with her bloodshot blue eyes) if it would be alright for her to stand up. Really dude?? Go for it!!! Just don't be a dick about it and abuse it, you know? My sis is a short girl and if she stands up, she won't be able to see over you and your boyfriend. (FYI, they didn't abuse it)
Any who.... NIN did their thing... great start to the show!
About a half hour later, JA came on stage. But I was not in my seat. No. I was on a freaking line. For the men's room. For almost 25 minutes!!! How insane is that!?!? Thankfully, I was almost inside but I didn't get to see the excitement on my sis' face when they first came out. I have a mental picture of how it probably looked. I'll have to live with that.
I have to admit, despite how much fun JA's lead singer, Perry Farrell, had performing his set (my sis and I were SURE he was higher than the full moon), NIN was the better band on this night (Sorry, sis... lol).
After the contact high wore off, I drove my sis home (in Brooklyn) and made it back to my house (in Queens) around 1am. A great end to a wonderful weekend.
Until next time, faithful reader......
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