Close Call

I write to you now while agitated and still on edge from what just happened to me. I suspect parts of this story may seem incoherent or unclear. But I need to get this story off my chest and I don't plan to edit it once I'm done. Tonight was the first time I have ever felt as if my fate was not in my own hands when driving my car. It is a scary feeling.

Typically, I try hard to be conscientious of those around me and try to anticipate the actions of others. Heck, my driving pet peeves list is based on behaviors that I have trouble understanding. Then, there are the few times where you are in a situation that is unavoidable no matter how many contingency plans you may have in place, no matter how much you "anticipate" the actions of other, and regardless of how "careful" you are as a driver. Tonight, I experienced one of those moments.

I went out to dinner with a few friends and, for the most part, had a good time (the company was good but it didn't make up for the terrible food). It didn't take long for me to get home but parking, apparently, was an ordeal. It was taking me longer to find a parking spot than it did to actually get to the neighborhood!

I went around my usual spots to no avail. I decided to go back to one of my old stand-by's from when I first moved to the neighborhood. On the way to that side street, I came across an intersection that I cross practically every time I'm driving. Though I am always on the street with the stop sign, tonight I was on the cross street that doesn't require you to stop.

My gut reaction was to come to a full stop. The cynic in me feels it is necessary to say that it could also have been my familiarity with the intersection that caused me to stop. I stopped at the intersection despite: not having a stop sign to have to stop on; there being NO sign of a car coming on the cross street; and the clear violation of one of my own pet peeves (though there was no one around me to prove I did it). When I realized what I had done, I figured I could use that chance to look around for a parking spot but there was none in sight so I moved on to the area where I used to park.

One of these streets is a one way road that is parallel to train tracks (not MTA). On this road, there is a curve that redirects traffic back to the grid where my residence is. Typically, as I approached the curve, I tend to coast into the curve and begin accelerating halfway through it. Tonight, however, I approached it at a much more "casual" speed than I'm used to driving at and didn't even consider accelerating as I entered it. I am now grateful for this change in routine because for some inexplicable reason there was a car coming in the opposite direction along this one way street. We both came to an abrupt stop and came within a few inches of hitting each other. If it was a parking spot, even the skinniest of my friends would have had trouble walking between our cars.

My heart was in my throat and I could feel it pounding harder than it ever has in my adult life. I felt my blood rushing through every vein and artery in my body as the other car began the slow retreat in reverse up the street to give me room to pass. I took several deep breaths - it was all my body would allow me to take - and closed my eyes. At that moment, I decided to not let my anger take a hold of me. I was grateful for the fortuitous turn of events and would simply drive past the fool that nearly changed my life (to varying degrees, of course, but I'll leave that up to your interpretation). As I passed the car, I didn't look at the driver. I didn't want to have a reason to hate someone with the intense passion that I knew I would be feeling later.

I drove past the curve and did not find a spot to park in which made me resentful for even going to that area to begin with. I drove around the neighborhood for a few minutes more before finding a space several blocks further than I'm used to parking around. My nerves were still rattled but I was beginning to calm down.

I walk up the sloped street on the way to my house. On this street, the sidewalks are slippery - due to irresponsible neighbors - making them fairly treacherous to walk on. Pedestrians have the option of taking their chances walking through that (might I remind you, on an incline) or walking in the street. I chose to walk on the street. Just mere moments after I set foot on the cold asphalt, a car turns onto the street from the top of the slope and approaches me slowly. I immediately recognized the car! It was the same one that almost hit me just a few minutes prior!

As the car comes to a stop next to me, several thoughts race through my head: maybe the driver wants to apologize for being a complete asshole; maybe it's the exact opposite and he wants to give ME shit for nearly crashing into HIM; or maybe the guy is having trouble finding an address (considering there is a 60th Road, 60th Avenue, and 60th Place in the immediate area, I can imagine someone being easily confused). As he rolls down his window, it becomes instantly clear to me that he doesn't know me from Adam and he proceeds to ask me how to get to a street that he is NOWHERE nearby! This was a slight relief as I wasn't in mood for his shit but I also was repressing a lot of anger and just wanted to ask him what the fuck he was thinking back there on the curve. I gave him very general directions since I feared any additional use of my voice would result in me reading him the riot act and I wasn't really eager to start a fight (verbal or otherwise) when all I wanted to do was get home. The man thanks me and drives off in his POS car as I continue up the 'hill'.

My hands weren't quite as shaky as they were when I parked but I still felt my blood coursing through my body and my breathing had only steadied slightly. I decided to update my facebook status to reflect my mood: "Alan is grateful for his instincts and, on nights like tonight, believes there are spirits watching over him". As a believer of the occult, I truly feel fortunate and these occasions make me think again about the existence of entities in realms/dimensions/planes of existence other than our own. I'm thankful I have the opportunity to vent about a close call and not recalling a story of how my car needed to be repaired (or worse yet, me needing to be repaired).

It also brought to light many things that I've taken for granted. I hope to not put myself in a position where I may live to regret my actions (or inaction) should something more serious and devastating ever happen to me in the future.

Until next time, faithful reader... (there will be a next time)

UPDATE: For those of you who are curious to see the intersection in question:
View Larger Map

RaUM: La Reconquista

Hello again,

Welcome back.

I've been staying true to the purpose of this blog which is, essentially, to not post anything if it feels like I'm forcing myself to write something. Posting an entry for the sake of writing anything seems to ruin the spirit of what I've got going here. The main reason why I haven't written a lot lately is not a lack of inspiration but rather a lack of time.

Much of this has been due to my indulgent personality. Once I find something I really enjoy, I tend to stick to it like glue. It's a bit obsessive, I know, but it's probably built into my DNA because I always seem to default to that. I often find myself fighting the urge to continue with the same old thing - whether it's a person, place, or thing - until I (1) finally give in and manage to forget about it or (2) find a new thing to focus on. Call me stubborn... or whatever else you will... =P

With my teaching job at QC starting at the end of January, I knew that I wouldn't be able to go out as often as I could in the weeks leading up to the start of the Spring semester. I took advantage of my free time by going out practically every night (there was a stretch where I honestly could not recall the last time I had been home before midnight). I spent the majority of my free time traveling around town, satiating my wanderlust with weekend getaways, keeping myself in good company, and simply enjoying all of these experiences. This has also forced me to give up pieces of the "old" me, for better and for worse. I stopped being a couch potato which is a good thing (though I still manage to make time for certain shows like Lost and 24, e.g.). I stopped blogging which, between you and me, is bad - for you and for me. I may have posted, albeit sporadically, in January, I'm sure there would have been more to read had I not been out gallivanting.

My current 'indulgence' is my teaching gig. I LOVE my new job!! I can't say that in enough ways to truly express how fortunate I feel to have the opportunity to teach others and to have found something that I am truly passionate about. Knowing I'm having a direct impact on others' lives - No! that isn't overstating the truth - is an intoxicating feeling. But that feeling is tempered by the understanding that after they're done with my class, they are now representative of me and my work. I take that seemingly minor fact seriously and I do everything I can to make sure that my kids come out of my class learning SOMETHING that they can apply in their other classes and in the 'real world'.

Now... I don't want to make it sound as if I regret how I've spent my free time. On the contrary, I've had an amazing start to the year! There is so much more for me to do, to see, and experiences that I hope to discover (and, in some instances, rediscover) in the near future. Though I did feel like I've neglected the blog a little over the past few weeks and didn't want to lose this part of myself. Despite my inability to properly manage my time, I will continue to compose my musings on my digital acres (brought to you by Blogger.com) so long as they continue to be random and unforced entries.

Well... that's all I've got for now (FYI, there is another entry in the works... should be posted some time this weekend).

Until next time, faithful reader...