Manny on Manny (a Chat About the Steroids Era )

With the return of Manny Ramirez to the LA Dodgers today, I thought it would be appropriate to post a conversation had with a good friend of mine recently about Ramirez' suspension for 'performance enhancing drugs' a few weeks ago.

This is transcript of our conversation:

[14:32] Manny: manny ramirez suspended for 50 games for being so maricon taken enhancement drugs fu** bitch me pissed now
[14:33] Alan: lol... i know!!!
[14:34] Manny: that's why I don't watch the game anymore
[14:34] Manny: lost faith in baseball
[14:34] Alan: but he says it was something his doctor gave him and neither him nor his doctor knew it violated the drug policy
[14:34] Manny: yeah Ok
[14:34] Alan: (and it wasn't confirmed to NOT BE steroids)
[14:34] Manny: like the rest of them
[14:34] Alan: i know... makes the average fan very cynical
[14:34] Alan: it's too bad but good that it's happening...
[14:34] Alan: in about 10 years there will be more confidence in the players as being more "natural" athletes
[14:34] Manny: im done with baseball
[14:34] Manny: long time i have my gloves in the attic
[14:34] Manny: inside a bag inside another bag
[14:35] Alan: haha!
[14:35] Alan: damn man!
[14:35] Manny: in another 10 years there will be another way to cheat the game that's untraceable
[14:36] Alan: that may be true but for as long as there has been sports (of any kind) there has been someone looking to find the one thing that would give them the competitive advantage
[14:36] Manny: credibility is down the toilet - i followed the game but I wont waste my time anymore
[14:36] Alan: nothing new in mankind's history
[14:36] Alan: will you abandon all sports because of this?
[14:37] Manny: credibility - I follow something to be true if it's not true then why follow
[14:37] Manny: it becomes a fictitious game
[14:38] Alan: so my question again is, will you give up on all sports?
[14:38] Alan: b/c they're really all the same no matter what era you talk about
[14:38] Manny: if they are not true yes
[14:38] Manny: i will - then just believe in my game and what I'm capable of
[14:38] Alan: I'm telling you there is no sport immune to the effects of mankind wanting to make themselves just a little better than the rest
[14:38] Alan: the issue is have they been caught or not
[14:40] Alan: the only game you can truly rely on and have 100% confidence in is your own
[14:40] Manny: just like the others - every single big player has something
[14:40] Manny: proven!
[14:42] Alan: true
[14:42] Manny: is like going to school to become a janitor@
[14:42] Alan: but big players and small alike are not immune to trying to find an edge somehow
[14:42] Alan: why don't we get upset at the scrubs that get caught but give up on baseball when manny and a-rod get caught?
[14:43] Manny: if you are a big player you don't need to try anything because you are already BIG
[14:44] Alan: HAHA.... ok so this argument only applies to players you like?
[14:44] Manny: A-Rod is a different case - didn't like the guy from the get go! So I don't care about him
[14:44] Manny: never did - has too much ego going on - But Manny? cmon ? is there a true player out there?
[14:44] Alan: lol... good to know
[14:44] Manny: nooo actually
[14:45] Manny: to all players
[14:45] Alan: i never liked a-rod but i respected his talent
[14:45] Alan: manny i liked and respected (even if he was a bit of a character)
[14:45] Alan: i mean let's be honest... the Rome that baseball built after the players strike in '93 is finally burning
[14:45] Manny: I always thought bout A-Rod using steroids
[14:46] Manny: just like McGuire and Sosa
[14:46] Alan: you know what? i actually NEVER did... i thought alex was clean from the beginning... so it upset me to learn he used steroids
[14:46] Manny: and Bond c'mon? Barry !

[14:47] Alan: dude... barry was obvious.... just like giambi and palmeiro
[14:47] Manny: my question is : What percentage of players you think are dirty?
[14:49] Alan: oh man... define dirty? do you mean based on what is tested for now? or anyone trying to find an edge?
[14:50] Manny: anything that gives you an edge is unfair to the game
[14:50] Manny: therefore dirty
[14:51] Manny: if you use anything on a test that helps you pass that test is consider cheating
[14:51] Manny: unless specified by rules - disclaimer
[14:51] Alan: ok... then i'll say this... other than mechanical adjustments and studying your opponent's behaviors, patterns, etc, focusing simply on injecting, ingesting, or in any way consuming some drug to help your game....
[14:52] Alan: i'd say it is more likely that batters would be dirty than pitchers
[14:52] Manny: watching the game is just like studying for a test so that's fair
[14:53] Alan: pitchers make up approx 33% of MLB rosters so looking only at batters... from the bench players to the stars.... i'd be willing to be roughly half of the batters are "dirty" which would mean about 1/3 of MLB is dirty
[14:53] Manny: injecting, ingesting or any mechanical help is dirty
[14:53] Alan: but i don't think it's more than that
[14:53] Alan: by mechanical i meant body mechanics (adjustments to body motions to be more efficient, etc)
[14:54] Alan: not like cyborg attachments, etc... lol
[14:54] Manny: that's adapting yourself to a movement to improve so that's studying
[14:54] Alan: right...
[14:54] Manny: corked bats falls under mechanical help
[14:55] Manny: bats LOOOL
[14:55] Alan: yes!!!
[14:55] Alan: ugh... i HATE that more than anything else...
[14:55] Manny: yeah that's f-up
[14:55] Alan: they should have one type of wood... and the ONLY difference would be weight/length....
[14:55] Manny: grease balls
[14:55] Manny: that's the worse
[14:56] Manny: or mechanical helps
[14:58] Manny: if I want an unrealistic game - just like the game of baseball we see everyday - then I would just turn my PS3 on and play any MLB game - at the end of the day I know for a fact that the players are going to be the same !
[14:59] Alan: lol... good point...
[14:59] Manny: and not even that -
[14:59] Alan: but you know what? why should we abandon the game when we have players that ARE out there playing the game the "right way"
[14:59] Alan: it's not fair to those players who ARE clean
[14:59] Manny: what makes you think they are playing the right way?
[15:05] Alan: the right way meaning the clean ones...
[15:05] Manny: credibility is an unknown word for the sport of baseball - I guess I go back to playing video games and spending my $50 baseball ticket money on something else
[15:05] Alan: they worked their way up to the majors with hard work, dedication, and love for the game
[15:05] Alan: and now they have to pay for the sins of the cheaters
[15:06] Manny: isn't that what happened when Adam and Eve?
[15:06] Alan: HAHA!
[15:06] Manny: not to be religious or anything
[15:07] Alan: no not at all... i understand
[15:08] Alan: but it's a fair point...

On an added note, I don't feel that Manny should be allowed to play in the All Star Game primarily because he was suspended for "cheating". MLB can always justify the decision to freeze him out of the big game by saying he didn't play that many games in the first part of the season to warrant being selected over other players who did play the majority of games this season.

Until next time, faithful reader......

Back on the East Coast (or Viva Las Vegas)

Helloooooo there,

I got back from Las Vegas late Sunday night. I was exhausted and hated being back. I had a massive headache and didn't even feel like driving home. (Yes, for those of you wondering, I DID park at the airport. It was for a good reason, trust me on that one).

I was in Vegas for three days with some friends and had a great time. Three days wasn't nearly enough time and I need to go back soon.

I also found out they're building a bridge that will replace the roadway over the Hoover Dam! The bridge should be finished in a year or so. No one will be allowed to drive on the Hoover Dam once it's finished. We're on the clock, folks. Pretty soon we won't be able to stop at the Arizona-Nevada border and make a wish over the dam so now's the time to head out there.

AND if you're in the area, boys and girls, be sure to stop by Boulder City to check out the Bootleg Canyon Flightlines (website). Simply amazing! I'm afraid of heights and I can tell you wholeheartedly, this is a MUST for anyone whether you like thrill rides or not. Not a fan of roller coasters? This is soooo much safer and soooo much more fun. Beautiful landscape, great staff, and an exhilarating experience!!!

Here are some other tidbits I'll share from my trip --

Overheard at the Palms:
A guy, who was playing on the same craps table as me about an hour earlier, walks over to some women sitting at the penny slots and says to one of them, "Hey girl, I'll give you $10 if you get up so I can see your ass."
[The girl did not take him up on his offer.]

True story on the roulette table:
A woman was down to her last $8. She didn't know what to play and was convinced by a group of girls to play $8 on 8. Sure enough, 8 comes up on the wheel. She won $280 with that bet. Nice work, ladies! lol.

Last day on the craps table @ Caesar's Palace:
[I had been winning money on a bet I placed on 4-4, a.k.a. "hard eight". It was off the table when this conversation occurred.]
Dealer - Want to play hard eight again?
Me - No thanks. I'll pass this time.
[The next dice roll was 4-4]
Dealer - Told you you should have played hard eight (She smiles as if she knew something I didn't).
Me - Next time I'll get it.
[Yeah! Thanks lady!!! lol]

At McCarran International Airport:
A small boy, no taller than 2.5 feet - a little half pint, walks by me cheesin' with pride because he is pulling his own mini-suitcase by himself. It's a "Cars" Lightning McQueen bag with the #95 emblazoned on it. Too cute!!

Drink of the trip:
Vodka and RedBull - kept me awake long enough to do what I wanted to do each night in Vegas. We can sleep when we're dead, right?

Lesson learned:
NEVER (EVER!) get in a situation where you have to accept a dare from a group of girls. smh. (That's all I'm saying about THAT one!)

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I came across a blog post the other day (click here to read it) and it claims that: "Much like single friends, I think that single bloggers are generally better bloggers."

This made me wonder if the reason this blog is even MILDLY entertaining is because I'm single. Hmmmm... I may not be posting stories of my dating experiences here or any "wild" nights with the guys but I definitely feel there is some truth to the claim. I have time to actually sit and write at the ol' laptop. Otherwise, this time writing blog posts could be spent with a girlfriend. Who knows... We'll see when that day comes.

Until next time, faithful reader......

What I Learned About Life from a Puppy

A mini-post for today:

Most of you who know me personally know I've always been more of a cat-person than a dog-person. However, after observing the behavior of a certain puppy this weekend, I had a quasi-epiphany.

The world could be a better place if we take time to learn a lesson, or two, from dogs when it comes to dealing with other people:

- All we really need in life is a roof over our heads, regular meals, some love and attention, and a daily walk outside. The rest is gravy.

- There is nothing wrong with running up to a person you like and acknowledge them wholeheartedly

- If you don't like or trust someone, there is no shame in snarling, growling, or barking at them to let them know how you truly feel about them (a.k.a. don't be fake. If you don't like/trust someone, don't pretend to like/trust them)

- If you want to play, share your toys.

- Getting in someone's face doesn't have to be a sign of aggression. It may just mean you really like that person.

- Take the time to size someone up before you decide, with good reason, whether you like them or not.

It certainly is food for thought. Does anyone out there have any more lessons we can learn from "man's best friend"?

Until next time, faithful reader......

A Peek Inside My Soul (or Opening Up Some More)

"In a world full of everything, there are still days where I feel I have nothing." - my tweet from Jun 17, 2009 @ 4:43PM

I hate to admit it but I'm starting to think this rainy weather has begun to take it's toll on me. I've been really moody lately and hadn't been able to put my finger on what was causing it. Little insignificant things have set me off. I've gotten angry really easily lately. I've gotten extremely ecstatic very quickly. I've also become quite melancholy at the drop of a dime. I am trying hard to keep my emotions in check but for this past week it has been a challenge at times. Maybe some sun will do me some good. Thankfully, my workouts have helped a little over the past few days.

I've been known to sometimes wear my heart on my sleeve. I have slowly realized, over the years, that it is mainly because I don't know how to let my emotions out verbally. I often find myself tongue tied and don't know how to express myself. Some people have told me it's as simple as saying 'X', 'Y', and 'Z', but it isn't. Not for me, anyway.

If we ever share a moment where I express any gratitude, show appreciation for something you did or said, or I'm in the unfortunate circumstance to tell you how sorry I am for your loss... understand that it is one of the most difficult things for me to do. I find it hard to find the right words to convey the message I have deep inside. The feeling is there but the words aren't always.

This blog of mine helps me get over this character flaw a little. There are no faces looking back at me. Although, I will see some of you in person, I feel like I can get away with saying some things here that I may not be able (or have the nerve) to say in person - whether it is meant for you directly or not.

Nevertheless, there are still some things that I will keep close to the vest. Things that are either too personal to share or that will violate someone else's privacy. I try hard to keep the focus on me in this blog. This is not out of some sense of narcissism. I just feel like the only person I can really sound off on, or open up about, with reckless abandon is myself.

I even have some blog entries that I have written than remain unpublished. These entries will stay unpublished for the immediate future. Posting them would be inappropriate until I actually talk to the individual(s) that the posts are about. Only then will I know whether it's ok to publish it for all the world to see, or not. Also, some of my unpublished entries were written as a form of catharsis. Writing about that experience/feeling/moment was simply an exercise in letting things out. Those entries are meant for my eyes only... for now. ;)

Now that I've gotten THAT off my chest...

At this time next week, I will be having fun under the bright lights of Las Vegas!!

I'm super excited and am looking forward to this trip! Not just because it gets me out of NYC (and this dreary weather) but it's one of the places I have been wanting to visit (did I remember to put that on my "to do list" blog entry a few months ago?). I always figured one day I would have the balls to actually enter into one of the WSOP tournaments and that would be at the heart of my Vegas trip. Now, it's all about leisure!

Preliminary plans include seeing Blue Man Group, dinner (and partying) at Tao, and getting a tan. Vegas weather forecasts for next week show sunny skies with highs in the low 100's and nighttime temps in the low 80's. It's a lot hotter than I would like but it's not going to keep me from enjoying myself.

If any of you have been there before and have any advice, suggestions, tips, etc. for things to do, places to see, etc., please comment.

I hope to get one more entry in before I leave for Vegas.

Until next time, faithful reader......

Thinking back - part 2

Welcome back,

Previously, I started recounted the story of my path from HS to when I dropped out of NYU (and the subsequent regret I had over that decision). This is the story of how I ended up at Queens College.

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After spending several years away from a classroom, I realized my life wasn't really progressing and I wasn't happy where I had been working. Some of the jobs I had in this time included working at a car parts warehouse, a car rental agency (both ends of the transaction: the guy that gives the customer his/her car AND later as the rental agent printing up contracts), and a video store, among others. In all these jobs (except the warehouse), I had either become, or was on the verge of being promoted to, a manager (whether it was P/T mgr or ass't mgr). But despite the increase in pay and responsibility, it was not the life I felt I needed to be living.

I made the decision to go back to school. I had been out of NYU for some time and two of my closest friends were in Queens College. I knew I would be disappointed with myself if I were to never go back and get a college degree. I went to Bronx-freaking-Science for Christ's sake!! I had friends who went to Ivy League schools. Others went to top universities throughout the country studying with faculty that were the experts in their fields of interest. What did I have to show for my time at Science? NOTHING. I was an NYU-drop out. I was bitter and needed to get back on the intellectual horse for my own sanity otherwise I'd never be able to live with myself.

I knew I couldn't afford a private university and opted for a CUNY education. I applied to all the CUNY's in Queens: LaGuardia CC, Queens College and Queensborough CC (QCC). Queens College was my first choice. Though I was willing to settle for admission to one of the CC's and transfer after a year or two. I was only accepted to Queensborough which was a blow to my ego but, at least, it got my foot in the door.

I tried to make the most of my time there but, quite frankly, I was so bored with my classes that I didn't feel challenged. I would spend more time hanging out with new friends than working on my class work. I fell behind in my course work and was very unmotivated. In the span of a year, I managed to pass 2 classes, dropped a few (I forgot how many exactly), and the others I failed outright for lack of attendance. I knew I had to get out of there.

I decided a transfer would do me some good. After all, the school I really wanted to go to was Queens College (QC). I need to confess that my primary motivation for going to QC was the fact that my friends were there. They'd tell me about how they spent time there, the people that they've met, and it sounded like fun. So much so, I even started spending my free time at QC and really liked the vibe on the campus. I often rushed out of class at QCC (when I actually went to class) and took the buses to QC just to hang out. I spent my time at the office for the student organization Alliance of Latin American Students (ALAS). It got to the point that people in ALAS thought I was a QC student and were shocked to find out I was going to QCC.

My decision to attend QC was not solely based on the social scene there. After all, it's not as if QC is a bad school, academically. It actually had (and still has) a very good reputation and is one of the few "respected" schools in the CUNY system.

I applied for a transfer during the summer. I didn't get a letter from CUNY Central telling me whether the transfer was accepted or not. Instead, I received a phone call from the Director of Admissions at QC (to this day, I wish I could remember her name). She wanted to interview me in person. I was surprised and excited. I didn't know what to expect but, even though I was extremely nervous, I figured this must be a good sign.

I walk into her office and I'm greeting by a friendly woman. She asks me to take a seat and proceeds to tell me that she has been looking over my application repeatedly. Immediately, my heart sank. I began wondering why I was even called here in the first place. This was a waste of my time! She's seen how badly I've done in QCC. She knows that I've been out of HS for so many years. I only had a B (maybe B-) average at Science. What do I really have going for me??

Well, it turns out... something in my application had caught her eye. Something that made her call me in for the interview. Something that she couldn't quite wrap her head around that caused her to want to meet me in person rather than make her decision based on what was on paper. She asked me how someone who graduated from Bronx Science could do so badly in QCC. Essentially, I explained that I didn't feel QCC was the place for me. I explained having visited QC and feeling a sense of belonging there. She reasoned, aloud, that I wasn't being challenged academically and I hadn't realized that until she said it. It was the first ray of sunshine in what had been a cloudy collegiate experience for me.

She reviewed my SAT scores (which, for the record, were quite good) and told me that my academic pedigree was strong. She understood why I didn't do well at QCC and she was willing to give me a chance to succeed at QC. This was based on a hunch. An intuition that she had gotten after speaking to me for about 10-15 minutes. I could not believe what had just happened. I was going to attend Queens College!

After completing a few formalities such as writing a short reply to a generic question she had prepared (to prove I can write in English) and filling out some forms, I was officially a QC student. The director then made me promise to follow up with her every semester to let her know how I was progressing. I easily agreed to this condition. After all, this woman had just changed my life!! In hindsight, she changed it in more ways than I could have EVER imagined.

I'll talk about my time at QC some other time but I did want to say one more thing about the QC Admissions Director. I successfully completed my first semester at QC the following fall and was beginning to erase the memory of QCC on my record. I made arrangements to swing by the Director's office in January. It was after the new year but before the start of the spring semester. When I walked into the Admissions Office, I learned that she had transferred to another school and was no longer working at QC. I was disappointed since I really did want to give her a progress report and to thank her for letting me transfer to QC.

If she could only see me now: a graduate of the MA program at QC and teaching other QC students. I don't know where she is now and I am fairly certain she isn't reading this entry but THANK YOU! Thank you for for believing in me and for taking the chance on me. It was just what I needed and I don't know where I would be without you!!

Until next time, faithful reader......