For Part 1 of the story click here.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The details of the second game of the tournament are lost to me. The only thing I remember is all the shit talking that took place prior to the game. All the talk centered around how it would be 8-4 vs 8-5 in the finals, an honors class final.
It turns out that 8-4 lost their semifinal game so there would only be one honors class in the finals, either 8-5 or 8-3. The only detail that I recall was the outcome of our semifinal game. My class won the game. I vaguely recall it being a close game. 8-5 had their chances but they threw too many deep balls and executed poorly when it mattered most.
Now my class, 8-3, was in the finals. We were the least likely of all the honors classes to make it. You could go so far as to call us the Cinderella story of this tournament. We even had guys from other honors classes asking if they can be ringers on our team. Clearly, we made it this far without them and I wasn't about to go into the finals with a new team full of egos. We were going to win or lose on our own!
It was the morning of the final game. It was also the last day of classes before the winter break. I woke up and it seemed like any other school morning: I was slow to get up. I kept asking my mom to come back in 5 minutes so I can squeeze in a little extra sleep. I finally decided to get up, not because of any sense of responsibility: I had to pee pretty badly. I swung my legs out of bed and tried to stand up. I had a tremendous shooting pain throughout both my feet and part of the way up my shin. I couldn't walk.
I would have asked for help from my mom but I didn't hear her nearby. We lived in a duplex apartment and I suspect she was upstairs, though I don't actually know where she was at the time. I figured the pain would pass the same way the pins-and-needles sensation goes away when your leg falls asleep. I dragged myself across the floor and down the hall to the bathroom commando-style, forearm over forearm. I slowly propped my body to an upright position first using the knob on the bathroom door, then the sink, and finally with the towel rack on the wall. I was doing some strange form of dips using the sink and towel rack to hold my body up while I pivoted to try and sit on the toilet to relieve myself. I was not only humiliated for having to go to such extremes to get to the bathroom but I was also really scared. When I finished, I called out for my mom and I remember feeling like it took her forever to come over to the bathroom. I didn't have the will to drag myself back to bed.
She came over and helped me back to my bedroom. It was clear I wouldn't make it to school that day. Normally, I wouldn't care about missing a day of school, especially when it meant an extended vacation, but this time it was different. I felt like I was letting my guys down. At the same time, I was concerned about what was afflicting me. My father, who woke up hours after my sister and I left for school, was surprised to see me in the house that morning. He tried soothing my feet by soaking them in a warm Epsom salt bath. It didn't help but at least he tried something (one of the few things I give him credit for in our life together).
My only course of action now was to go see the doctor. By the time I went to see the doctor, my feet felt better and I no longer had any pain. I was able to put my weight on my feet once again ans walk normally. Whether this was due to the bed rest or some other stroke of luck is unknown but we took no chances. My mother called a cab for us to go to the doctor's office.
I was embarrassed to be in the doctor's office explaining to him the pain I felt in the morning only to have him question my ability to walk into his office unassisted. It turns out he had a strong hunch as to what was wrong with me and insisted I see a cardiologist as soon as possible. He scheduled an appointment for me with one of his colleagues (and friend) a day or two later.
I was out of the doctor's office and home by 3 o'clock. I was feeling better and I was only a short walk away from school. If I left the house around 3PM, I knew I could make it in time. I seriously considered going to school to play in that final game. In the end, I decided against it. It was partly due the fear of the pain returning while I was on the schoolyard. I also didn't want to explain to my math teacher why I wasn't in school for class but was there for the game. To this day, Mr. Kralick is my all time favorite teacher and he was also the referee for the football games. He was an intimidating SOB and I honestly didn't want to deal with him after the morning I had. All I could do was hope that my guys did well.
After seeing the cardiologist, I was diagnosed with rheumatic fever (if you want more info, click here). My doctor told me that had I waited a few more days I could have had severe damage to my heart. Had I waited a few more days, I could have died from this. It's hard for me to put myself in that position again. As a 13 year old, it was almost impossible to imagine what dying truly meant. I knew enough to know it was serious but every time I think back on that diagnosis it chills me to the bone. I could have died! All my experiences since then would be unknown to me. The people whose paths I've crossed would have been altered forever, for better or worse.
Consider what you are doing at this very moment. This would never be happening since there would be no RaUM, no Alan, and I suspect neither one of us can imagine what our lives would be like had I not gone to the doctor, had I gone to play that last game, had things been different on that fateful December morning.
Fast forward to my return to school in January. It was a new year, I had been treated for the pain and was taking daily doses of penicillin. I'd be required to get a shot of penicillin every month of my life until I turned 18. It was preventive treatment to stop any recurrence of the disease. I don't recall ever catching a cold or being sick in any way shape or form from that moment until I became an adult. It was awesome!!
I had no idea what happened in the final game of the football tournament. I was eager to find out how it went. When I walked into homeroom at the start of the day, I was greeted by several of my classmates. They then immediately started peppering me with questions. Where was I that last day of class before the break? How could I abandon them? Why did I leave them on their own? What was so important that I missed the ONE GAME that mattered? I didn't quite understand why I was forced to answer all these questions until someone finally told me what happened in the game I missed. We got massacred. Destroyed. Humiliated. Outclassed. Run over. You're welcome to continue inserting relevant adjectives here.
They were venting their frustration at losing and blaming the loss on my absence. I must admit I was flattered, a bit upset they were saying it was my fault, but it definitely made me feel good since they felt I was important enough to be considered the primary reason we lost. Never mind the fact that we weren't even the best team in the tournament. I often think back to that time of my life and wonder what would have happened had I played in that game. I'll never know. But it's nice to imagine us finishing what we started and become the 8th grade football champs that year.
Once I explained to my classmates why I missed class that day they all fell silent and started apologizing for blaming me. After a few minutes, all the talk of the game and my illness was forgotten and we moved on. But for me, the memory lingers. Occasionally it creeps back into my consciousness and brings a smile to my face.
We played our hearts out and, whatever my influence may have been in our two wins, we won as a team. More importantly, I'm now in good health and I'm alive to tell the tale. I don't mean to over-dramatize that point but I have always been one who has taken my health for granted. That experience I had in the 8th grade always humbles me and reminds me how lucky I am to be where I am now.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
For years, this was one of my favorite stories to tell. This was my "Al Bundy" football story. I hadn't told it in years and I don't even know why it came back into my consciousness recently. Hope you liked it.
And for those of you who are wondering... YES! It really did happen to me. =)
Until next time, faithful reader......
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
Sunday, August 2, 2009
The Glory Days of My Childhood (Part 1)
It was December in the middle of the 8th grade. The snow hadn't fallen yet that winter but it was beginning to get cold enough for it to happen soon. In my Junior High School, there was an intramural football tournament scheduled between several 8th grade classes. The tournament was to last 3 weeks and would be completed before the winter break.
I was in one of the four honors classes at my school in the 8th grade. Needless to say, none of the honors classes were given a chance to win because we were the "nerds" - despite having several athletic guys in our four classes. Of all the honors classes, my class (8-3) had the worst chance of all. You see, each honors class had it's own concentration, a specialty if you will. One class (8-4) was the band class, 8-6 was the art class, and there was the computer class (8-5). My class was the chorus class. Not only did we have the fewest numbers of boys out of all the classes in the 8th grade but we were also seen as inferior due to our status as choir boys. The only honors class not to participate in the tournament was 8-6.
When we put our team together, made up of practically every guy in the class - not all were athletic - I became the de facto leader of the team. My goal was to make sure we didn't get overly embarrassed in our first game and that we had fun playing in, what most expected to be, our one and only game. Yes. I admit I thought we were going to lose, as well. There were 7 others teams/classes in the tournament that we would have a tough time beating even on our best day.
In our first game we faced a solid opponent in 8-17. There were a lot of tall guys in that class and we clearly had our work cut out for us. If things looked bad for us before the tourney, things looked even bleaker when you sized us up in that first match-up. It was probably the worst possible match-up for us. Compared to 8-17, we were under-sized and a bit slower overall.
They got an early lead on us and my focus as the "coach" was to make sure everyone got to play (since we were unlikely to play again). I even took myself off the field to allow my classmates to get in the action. As I managed the game from the sidelines I started noticing two things about our opponents: (1) they were extremely cocky, especially after getting the early lead and (2) on defense, they only focused on our best players. I called in a few basic plays from the sidelines telling our QB to drop short passes to the "scrubs" (though I'm pretty sure I didn't call them that to their faces). The strategy paid off. We started moving the ball down the field very easily on 8-17 and even scored our first touchdown.
This is where their cockiness came into play. They began throwing bombs to the endzone on every play to quickly regain their lead. Our defense managed to keep them from scoring. In their frustration, they started getting upset at each other. With every completed pass by our QB, with each touchdown we scored, they became increasingly frustrated. They didn't have the "mental toughness" to stay in the game and play as well as they did in the start. We took advantage of that, mixing up our passing plays: short/long, sidelines/middle of the field, stars/scrubs.
We managed to pull off the upset in our first game against a solid team. We did it by playing smart and making it a complete team effort. When word got out of our win, everyone considered it a fluke. The other two honors classes won their match-ups so no one considered 8-3 a threat. If anything, it would be an easy win for our next opponent in the semi-finals: the most athletically talented honors class, 8-5.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
What happened to 8-3 in the semis? Will the boys in 8-3 overcome another difficult match-up? What befell our blogging hero that changed the tournament (and his life) forever?
Stay tuned for part 2 of this true story.
Until next time, faithful reader......
I was in one of the four honors classes at my school in the 8th grade. Needless to say, none of the honors classes were given a chance to win because we were the "nerds" - despite having several athletic guys in our four classes. Of all the honors classes, my class (8-3) had the worst chance of all. You see, each honors class had it's own concentration, a specialty if you will. One class (8-4) was the band class, 8-6 was the art class, and there was the computer class (8-5). My class was the chorus class. Not only did we have the fewest numbers of boys out of all the classes in the 8th grade but we were also seen as inferior due to our status as choir boys. The only honors class not to participate in the tournament was 8-6.
When we put our team together, made up of practically every guy in the class - not all were athletic - I became the de facto leader of the team. My goal was to make sure we didn't get overly embarrassed in our first game and that we had fun playing in, what most expected to be, our one and only game. Yes. I admit I thought we were going to lose, as well. There were 7 others teams/classes in the tournament that we would have a tough time beating even on our best day.
In our first game we faced a solid opponent in 8-17. There were a lot of tall guys in that class and we clearly had our work cut out for us. If things looked bad for us before the tourney, things looked even bleaker when you sized us up in that first match-up. It was probably the worst possible match-up for us. Compared to 8-17, we were under-sized and a bit slower overall.
They got an early lead on us and my focus as the "coach" was to make sure everyone got to play (since we were unlikely to play again). I even took myself off the field to allow my classmates to get in the action. As I managed the game from the sidelines I started noticing two things about our opponents: (1) they were extremely cocky, especially after getting the early lead and (2) on defense, they only focused on our best players. I called in a few basic plays from the sidelines telling our QB to drop short passes to the "scrubs" (though I'm pretty sure I didn't call them that to their faces). The strategy paid off. We started moving the ball down the field very easily on 8-17 and even scored our first touchdown.
This is where their cockiness came into play. They began throwing bombs to the endzone on every play to quickly regain their lead. Our defense managed to keep them from scoring. In their frustration, they started getting upset at each other. With every completed pass by our QB, with each touchdown we scored, they became increasingly frustrated. They didn't have the "mental toughness" to stay in the game and play as well as they did in the start. We took advantage of that, mixing up our passing plays: short/long, sidelines/middle of the field, stars/scrubs.
We managed to pull off the upset in our first game against a solid team. We did it by playing smart and making it a complete team effort. When word got out of our win, everyone considered it a fluke. The other two honors classes won their match-ups so no one considered 8-3 a threat. If anything, it would be an easy win for our next opponent in the semi-finals: the most athletically talented honors class, 8-5.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
What happened to 8-3 in the semis? Will the boys in 8-3 overcome another difficult match-up? What befell our blogging hero that changed the tournament (and his life) forever?
Stay tuned for part 2 of this true story.
Until next time, faithful reader......
Friday, July 24, 2009
Apology, Thank You, and Tweets
I suppose this should be directed to those readers who, in all likelihood, are no longer regular visitors to RaUM. Damn. Well here goes:
I've gotten really long-winded in my posts the last few months. I'm gonna try and keep the entries more concise. Sorry for forcing you to read through 1,000+ word entries filled with nonsense and frivolity. I'm not apologizing for the content, just how much of it appears in recent posts. =)
With that said, I'd also like to send out a HUGE 'thank you' to those of you who have stuck around. I appreciate the follows and general readership. I hope I've managed to keep you mildly entertained and offered a worthwhile distraction at work, at home, at the airport (you know who you are!), or anywhere else in the world you may have been.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Here are a selection of tweets I posted via @agsilver51 during July 2009:
1 - It's going to take A LOT to get this smile off of my face!!! =D
(7:12 PM Jul 1st)
[It also served as my Facebook status for that day. No... it wasn't because I got laid. lol. But the month started off on the right foot]
2 - I'm starting to think the American population is getting dumber by the generation! smh. Either that or I must be brilliant! (1:58 PM Jul 2nd)
3 - NBC should be embarrassed showing Roddick-Murray on tape delay rather than broadcasting it live. What an insult! (12:19 PM Jul 3rd )
[I was genuinely incensed when I realized NBC was not showing the Wimbledon's men's final live. What a bad decision!]
4 - The envelope with swabs is in the mail. Feeling good after completing the last step to be a part of the 'Be The Match Registry' (3:40 PM Jul 4th)
[I had to rub the swabs against the inside of my mouth, four times. I can't wait to see if I can actually do some good and help a person out with, what will amount to, a small sacrifice.]
5 - RT @citycynic: At exactly 12:34pm and 56 seconds today, it will be 12:34:56 7/8/09!!! Beat that, math nerds! (bwo @theropolitans) (10:24 AM Jul 8th)
[That was, admittedly, kinda cool!]
6 - Just heard Kings of Leon's "Use Somebody" on Z100. I've got mixed emotions about this. (4:51 PM Jul 11th)
[Even my boy in VA was telling me about this 'new song' he heard. He was shocked to know this song was released months ago on rock stations around the country.]
7 - OK. I know the AL has been dominant in years past but I say P.Fielder wins the #HomeRunDerby tonight #mlb (8:11 PM Jul 13th)
["Experts" said he was too big and would tire before it was over! Needless to say I was quite proud of myself for having called it! =D]
8 - *sigh* Patience is a virtue that I will always have to work on. (4:08 PM Jul 16th)
[Self-explanatory]
9 - Made it to VA after being pulled over b/w Baltimore and DC. Off to bed after Wii Sports for an hour. (6:12 AM Jul 17th)
[I got pulled over for speeding and tailgating but got off with just a warning for tailgating. WHEW!]
10 - I'm starting to believe I'm her "non-gay, 'gay' friend" (3:24 PM Jul 19th)
[Something my best friend told me recently and after talking to the fellas at the reunion, I see what he meant.]
11 - There is no "manly" way to eat a corn dog. There just isn't! (4:22 PM Jul 19th )
[My boy Javon was eating a corn dog and I gave him a hard time every time he took a bite. I can't see how men can eat a corn dog and not have it look "manly".]
12 - Lessons learned through others' experiences: Don't pick your nose around the time your alarm will go off, you may hurt yourself (10:02 PM Jul 20th)
[Words of wisdom from my roommate!]
13 - If I were a cannibal, I'd like to eat myself. I think I'd be rather tasty (1:53 PM Jul 21st)
[When I posted this as my Facebook status I had a lot of comments reacting to it. I stand by this statement. I TRULY think I'd be a tasty treat for a cannibal.]
14 - Sweet! ~~RT @grantimahara I fully endorse any table that has bacon, ninjas, and robots. "The Periodic Table of Awesome" http://bit.ly/8Bsl (8:26 PM Jul 21st)
[Check out element #11 for a LOL or 2]
15 - Teaching stats and playing craps: I may have found my calling in life! #livingthedream (12:59 PM Jul 23rd)
[The two things I happen to love in life, esp. since I have never lost money at a craps table]
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Until next time, faithful reader......
I've gotten really long-winded in my posts the last few months. I'm gonna try and keep the entries more concise. Sorry for forcing you to read through 1,000+ word entries filled with nonsense and frivolity. I'm not apologizing for the content, just how much of it appears in recent posts. =)
With that said, I'd also like to send out a HUGE 'thank you' to those of you who have stuck around. I appreciate the follows and general readership. I hope I've managed to keep you mildly entertained and offered a worthwhile distraction at work, at home, at the airport (you know who you are!), or anywhere else in the world you may have been.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Here are a selection of tweets I posted via @agsilver51 during July 2009:
1 - It's going to take A LOT to get this smile off of my face!!! =D
(7:12 PM Jul 1st)
[It also served as my Facebook status for that day. No... it wasn't because I got laid. lol. But the month started off on the right foot]
2 - I'm starting to think the American population is getting dumber by the generation! smh. Either that or I must be brilliant! (1:58 PM Jul 2nd)
3 - NBC should be embarrassed showing Roddick-Murray on tape delay rather than broadcasting it live. What an insult! (12:19 PM Jul 3rd )
[I was genuinely incensed when I realized NBC was not showing the Wimbledon's men's final live. What a bad decision!]
4 - The envelope with swabs is in the mail. Feeling good after completing the last step to be a part of the 'Be The Match Registry' (3:40 PM Jul 4th)
[I had to rub the swabs against the inside of my mouth, four times. I can't wait to see if I can actually do some good and help a person out with, what will amount to, a small sacrifice.]
5 - RT @citycynic: At exactly 12:34pm and 56 seconds today, it will be 12:34:56 7/8/09!!! Beat that, math nerds! (bwo @theropolitans) (10:24 AM Jul 8th)
[That was, admittedly, kinda cool!]
6 - Just heard Kings of Leon's "Use Somebody" on Z100. I've got mixed emotions about this. (4:51 PM Jul 11th)
[Even my boy in VA was telling me about this 'new song' he heard. He was shocked to know this song was released months ago on rock stations around the country.]
7 - OK. I know the AL has been dominant in years past but I say P.Fielder wins the #HomeRunDerby tonight #mlb (8:11 PM Jul 13th)
["Experts" said he was too big and would tire before it was over! Needless to say I was quite proud of myself for having called it! =D]
8 - *sigh* Patience is a virtue that I will always have to work on. (4:08 PM Jul 16th)
[Self-explanatory]
9 - Made it to VA after being pulled over b/w Baltimore and DC. Off to bed after Wii Sports for an hour. (6:12 AM Jul 17th)
[I got pulled over for speeding and tailgating but got off with just a warning for tailgating. WHEW!]
10 - I'm starting to believe I'm her "non-gay, 'gay' friend" (3:24 PM Jul 19th)
[Something my best friend told me recently and after talking to the fellas at the reunion, I see what he meant.]
11 - There is no "manly" way to eat a corn dog. There just isn't! (4:22 PM Jul 19th )
[My boy Javon was eating a corn dog and I gave him a hard time every time he took a bite. I can't see how men can eat a corn dog and not have it look "manly".]
12 - Lessons learned through others' experiences: Don't pick your nose around the time your alarm will go off, you may hurt yourself (10:02 PM Jul 20th)
[Words of wisdom from my roommate!]
13 - If I were a cannibal, I'd like to eat myself. I think I'd be rather tasty (1:53 PM Jul 21st)
[When I posted this as my Facebook status I had a lot of comments reacting to it. I stand by this statement. I TRULY think I'd be a tasty treat for a cannibal.]
14 - Sweet! ~~RT @grantimahara I fully endorse any table that has bacon, ninjas, and robots. "The Periodic Table of Awesome" http://bit.ly/8Bsl (8:26 PM Jul 21st)
[Check out element #11 for a LOL or 2]
15 - Teaching stats and playing craps: I may have found my calling in life! #livingthedream (12:59 PM Jul 23rd)
[The two things I happen to love in life, esp. since I have never lost money at a craps table]
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Until next time, faithful reader......
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
Reunions and Looking Forward
Greetings,
It occurred to me today that I managed to upload pics from my trip to VA this past weekend to my Facebook profile but I still haven't posted my pics of my cousin Nelson's visit to NY yet!! What's wrong with me... smh. AH YES! I remember what happened now... Problems with the Facebook photo uploader. [Update: I managed to make it work while writing this blog entry. Hooray Beer!]
Speaking of VA, I HAD A BLAST this weekend catching up with old childhood friends in Richmond. This was the first time that all of us have been together under the same roof in almost a decade. We even made time (at the last possible minute, of course) to recreate the photo we took the last time we were together on that cold December night years ago back in T's house. This reunion also included a few new additions to the 'family' (a high school friend of T and Lex, and Lex's girlfriend, Cyn).
The only regret I have from this past weekend (it's a minor one, mind you) is that I missed out on the chance to check out the bar scene in downtown Richmond. I will say, though, that visiting Busch Gardens and spending time with childhood friends was a fair trade-off. On a related note, Busch Gardens was surprisingly fun and was better than Six Flags in NJ, if I do say so myself.
What else do I have planned, you ask? What's next for me?
Well... after talking with the fellas... we're trying set up a week-long cruise in Sept/Oct to the Caribbean. It'll be a chance for all the single guys of the crew to hang out and do our thing. Sorry Lex, though I'm sure you'd rather spend the time with Cyn anyway. =)
A few days ago, I had announced on Twitter that I was considering stopping by Atlantic City to get some money to go on this cruise (without having to tap into any savings) to which a friend responded: "geez vegas, road trips, ac, and a cruise! Lol crazy." I suppose it is... but I'm loving every second of it!!
To add to that "crazy" list of activities, I'm considering going skydiving in late August right before the Fall '09 semester starts. I'd prefer to do this with a friend but I'm willing to do it solo if no one steps up to join me. Anyone down?
I may also get my tattoo once the summer is over. I'll probably do it at the start of the school year (with that first paycheck of the semester). Some of you may have heard me talking about it since the start of the year but when deciding between ink or traveling, sight-seeing won over every time. I am serious about getting it so you can expect it to happen before the year's end.
There are a few things to sort out in my life between now and the end of the year but everything will happen in due time. Maybe I'll write about it next time, who knows.
Nevertheless, I have visions of craps tables in my head and may head out to Atlantic City soon. I've been dying to go since I've been back from Vegas. Wish me luck in case I decide to go!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I added a new MCB playlist today. It's been a while and my apologies to those of you who actually tuned in weekly for them in the past. This week's playlist features Beatles songs. No real reason other than it's great music that will never go out of style.
I'm also working on some new "Ultimate" playlists so keep your eyes open for that. For those who haven't read some of my earlier writing, the 'Ultimate's are lists of quintessential songs that define a genre and are must-haves in anyone's mp3 collection. They're an excellent starting point for people that are new to a particular genre looking to build their musical collection. I've completed playlists for Salsa, Bachata and Freestyle thus far. The genres I plan to tackle next are Vallenatos, Merengue, and Samba. When considering 'Ultimate's for English music, it gets a little more complicated but I will probably work on songs by genre and decade (a.k.a. rock from the 80's, R&B from the 90's, etc)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I'll leave you with this thought, borrowed from a blog I stumbled upon today:
"IF I HAD MY LIFE TO LIVE OVER
I'd dare to make more mistakes next time.
I'd relax, I'd limber up.
I would be sillier than I've been this trip.
I would take fewer things seriously, take more chances, take more trips.
I'd climb more mountains and swim more rivers.
I would eat more ice cream and fewer beans.
I would perhaps have more actual troubles, but I'd have fewer imaginary ones.
You see, I'm one of those people who lived seriously, sanely, hour after hour, day after day.
I've had my moments, and if I had to do over again, I'd have more of them.
I've been one of those persons who never goes anywhere without a thermometer, a hot water bottle, a raincoat, and a parachute.
If I had my life to live over, I would start going barefoot earlier in the spring, and stay that way later in the fall.
I would go to more dances, I would ride more merry-go-rounds, I would pick more daisies."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Until next time, faithful reader......
It occurred to me today that I managed to upload pics from my trip to VA this past weekend to my Facebook profile but I still haven't posted my pics of my cousin Nelson's visit to NY yet!! What's wrong with me... smh. AH YES! I remember what happened now... Problems with the Facebook photo uploader. [Update: I managed to make it work while writing this blog entry. Hooray Beer!]
Speaking of VA, I HAD A BLAST this weekend catching up with old childhood friends in Richmond. This was the first time that all of us have been together under the same roof in almost a decade. We even made time (at the last possible minute, of course) to recreate the photo we took the last time we were together on that cold December night years ago back in T's house. This reunion also included a few new additions to the 'family' (a high school friend of T and Lex, and Lex's girlfriend, Cyn).
The only regret I have from this past weekend (it's a minor one, mind you) is that I missed out on the chance to check out the bar scene in downtown Richmond. I will say, though, that visiting Busch Gardens and spending time with childhood friends was a fair trade-off. On a related note, Busch Gardens was surprisingly fun and was better than Six Flags in NJ, if I do say so myself.
What else do I have planned, you ask? What's next for me?
Well... after talking with the fellas... we're trying set up a week-long cruise in Sept/Oct to the Caribbean. It'll be a chance for all the single guys of the crew to hang out and do our thing. Sorry Lex, though I'm sure you'd rather spend the time with Cyn anyway. =)
A few days ago, I had announced on Twitter that I was considering stopping by Atlantic City to get some money to go on this cruise (without having to tap into any savings) to which a friend responded: "geez vegas, road trips, ac, and a cruise! Lol crazy." I suppose it is... but I'm loving every second of it!!
To add to that "crazy" list of activities, I'm considering going skydiving in late August right before the Fall '09 semester starts. I'd prefer to do this with a friend but I'm willing to do it solo if no one steps up to join me. Anyone down?
I may also get my tattoo once the summer is over. I'll probably do it at the start of the school year (with that first paycheck of the semester). Some of you may have heard me talking about it since the start of the year but when deciding between ink or traveling, sight-seeing won over every time. I am serious about getting it so you can expect it to happen before the year's end.
There are a few things to sort out in my life between now and the end of the year but everything will happen in due time. Maybe I'll write about it next time, who knows.
Nevertheless, I have visions of craps tables in my head and may head out to Atlantic City soon. I've been dying to go since I've been back from Vegas. Wish me luck in case I decide to go!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I added a new MCB playlist today. It's been a while and my apologies to those of you who actually tuned in weekly for them in the past. This week's playlist features Beatles songs. No real reason other than it's great music that will never go out of style.
I'm also working on some new "Ultimate" playlists so keep your eyes open for that. For those who haven't read some of my earlier writing, the 'Ultimate's are lists of quintessential songs that define a genre and are must-haves in anyone's mp3 collection. They're an excellent starting point for people that are new to a particular genre looking to build their musical collection. I've completed playlists for Salsa, Bachata and Freestyle thus far. The genres I plan to tackle next are Vallenatos, Merengue, and Samba. When considering 'Ultimate's for English music, it gets a little more complicated but I will probably work on songs by genre and decade (a.k.a. rock from the 80's, R&B from the 90's, etc)
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I'll leave you with this thought, borrowed from a blog I stumbled upon today:
"IF I HAD MY LIFE TO LIVE OVER
I'd dare to make more mistakes next time.
I'd relax, I'd limber up.
I would be sillier than I've been this trip.
I would take fewer things seriously, take more chances, take more trips.
I'd climb more mountains and swim more rivers.
I would eat more ice cream and fewer beans.
I would perhaps have more actual troubles, but I'd have fewer imaginary ones.
You see, I'm one of those people who lived seriously, sanely, hour after hour, day after day.
I've had my moments, and if I had to do over again, I'd have more of them.
I've been one of those persons who never goes anywhere without a thermometer, a hot water bottle, a raincoat, and a parachute.
If I had my life to live over, I would start going barefoot earlier in the spring, and stay that way later in the fall.
I would go to more dances, I would ride more merry-go-rounds, I would pick more daisies."
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Until next time, faithful reader......
Saturday, July 18, 2009
Venting and Reflecting (or Getting Something Off My Chest)
[Note: For those of you who read my "A Peek Inside My Soul" post from a few weeks ago, consider this a follow-up post.]
I need to get this off my chest. Bear with me as I open up a little...
There have been times this year where I would become insanely furious with my ex-fiancé. I didn't understand why. I knew I was angry at her and thought it would be better to stay quiet. I wasn't exactly sure what it was that set me off each of those times. I had pieces of the puzzle but I think I now have a clear picture as to what I was feeling.
Ultimately, I can't shake the feeling that we wasted time being together. Not for the duration of the relationship but for the latter part of it. It could be due, partly, to convenience since we lived together and we got along just fine so cohabiting was easy. Part of it is also the convenience of simply being together. There's a saying in Spanish "el costumbre es mas fuerte que el amor" (a roughly translation of the idiom could read "routine is stronger than love"). I think that's what happened to us.
What actually caused us to 'fall out of love' is likely different for us both though I feel like I was the only one willing to speak up about our situation. And we DID try to make it work for a little while but I sensed it was probably too late. I didn't feel like there was any real effort on her part to make things work. I stopped trying to force things work. I succumbed to the inevitable and suggested we break up.
As I mentioned months ago, the feeling was mutual. Ultimately, our decision to split was based on the premise that we were both unhappy. The split would allow us to move on and find our own happiness. We still get along great and I'm glad (and admittedly a bit relieved) that she's moved on.
So why is it then that I have had these moments of bitterness, anger, and regret? It's because there is a part of me that feels I wasted time being with her. What really gnaws at me is being stuck with wondering whether I lost months or years staying with her for as long as I did.
When DID she start 'losing that loving feeling'? Why didn't she say anything to me if she sensed any trouble? The more I think about these things the more I feel like I was taken advantage of. I feel bad feeling that way but it's hard to shake that thought.
I'm willing to bet she doesn't know why, or when she knew, the love was gone. These aren't the types of feelings that are tied in to one occasion or specific event. It's a process that occurs over an extended period of time and slowly erodes the foundation of a relationship. I'm not completely innocent and I'm sure I helped contribute to it in some way.
I am not posting this to simply air out my dirty laundry or to reveal some emotional vulnerability. Putting this on paper helps me process my thoughts and allows me to sort things out. I can say with the same certainty as I said it back in the winter, I'm ready to move on and, looking back on things, I wish the break-up had happened sooner.
['Broken record' warning!!] Throughout my life, I was never really comfortable being single. In the past, it was due to insecurities and low self-esteem. Now, I don't feel like I know what to do. I was never good at flirting and don't feel like I would even be able to do it effectively. Also, I'm "socially stupid" when it comes to interpersonal relationships. I don't pick up on signals, signs, etc. from women so I don't even know if I'd be able to recognize when someone is interested in me unless she was blatant about her interest. Ultimately, the relationships will come in due time and I'm in no hurry - even though there are times where I feel like the sands in my hourglass are running out.
My primary focus this year has been enjoying my life. There's so much I haven't done, places I haven't seen, people to reconnect with, and once-in-a-lifetime experiences to revel in. My long-time friends have taken to calling me "Alan 2.0" because of how much I've changed in the past few years. I'm more carefree and I make time to go out more. I may not have made the most of my life to date but, in some ways, I am making up for lost time. I don't want any regrets when I look back on my life.
After all, isn't that what it's all about in the end? Live and enjoy life, ladies and gents! Don't settle for less than you feel you deserve.
Until next time, faithful reader......
I need to get this off my chest. Bear with me as I open up a little...
There have been times this year where I would become insanely furious with my ex-fiancé. I didn't understand why. I knew I was angry at her and thought it would be better to stay quiet. I wasn't exactly sure what it was that set me off each of those times. I had pieces of the puzzle but I think I now have a clear picture as to what I was feeling.
Ultimately, I can't shake the feeling that we wasted time being together. Not for the duration of the relationship but for the latter part of it. It could be due, partly, to convenience since we lived together and we got along just fine so cohabiting was easy. Part of it is also the convenience of simply being together. There's a saying in Spanish "el costumbre es mas fuerte que el amor" (a roughly translation of the idiom could read "routine is stronger than love"). I think that's what happened to us.
What actually caused us to 'fall out of love' is likely different for us both though I feel like I was the only one willing to speak up about our situation. And we DID try to make it work for a little while but I sensed it was probably too late. I didn't feel like there was any real effort on her part to make things work. I stopped trying to force things work. I succumbed to the inevitable and suggested we break up.
As I mentioned months ago, the feeling was mutual. Ultimately, our decision to split was based on the premise that we were both unhappy. The split would allow us to move on and find our own happiness. We still get along great and I'm glad (and admittedly a bit relieved) that she's moved on.
So why is it then that I have had these moments of bitterness, anger, and regret? It's because there is a part of me that feels I wasted time being with her. What really gnaws at me is being stuck with wondering whether I lost months or years staying with her for as long as I did.
When DID she start 'losing that loving feeling'? Why didn't she say anything to me if she sensed any trouble? The more I think about these things the more I feel like I was taken advantage of. I feel bad feeling that way but it's hard to shake that thought.
I'm willing to bet she doesn't know why, or when she knew, the love was gone. These aren't the types of feelings that are tied in to one occasion or specific event. It's a process that occurs over an extended period of time and slowly erodes the foundation of a relationship. I'm not completely innocent and I'm sure I helped contribute to it in some way.
I am not posting this to simply air out my dirty laundry or to reveal some emotional vulnerability. Putting this on paper helps me process my thoughts and allows me to sort things out. I can say with the same certainty as I said it back in the winter, I'm ready to move on and, looking back on things, I wish the break-up had happened sooner.
['Broken record' warning!!] Throughout my life, I was never really comfortable being single. In the past, it was due to insecurities and low self-esteem. Now, I don't feel like I know what to do. I was never good at flirting and don't feel like I would even be able to do it effectively. Also, I'm "socially stupid" when it comes to interpersonal relationships. I don't pick up on signals, signs, etc. from women so I don't even know if I'd be able to recognize when someone is interested in me unless she was blatant about her interest. Ultimately, the relationships will come in due time and I'm in no hurry - even though there are times where I feel like the sands in my hourglass are running out.
My primary focus this year has been enjoying my life. There's so much I haven't done, places I haven't seen, people to reconnect with, and once-in-a-lifetime experiences to revel in. My long-time friends have taken to calling me "Alan 2.0" because of how much I've changed in the past few years. I'm more carefree and I make time to go out more. I may not have made the most of my life to date but, in some ways, I am making up for lost time. I don't want any regrets when I look back on my life.
After all, isn't that what it's all about in the end? Live and enjoy life, ladies and gents! Don't settle for less than you feel you deserve.
Until next time, faithful reader......
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