I have been slowly unpacking a lot of my boxes. I have too much stuff and no where to put it. But I decided that I should go through some of these boxes to see what I can throw out (or sell on eBay and craigslist).
In one pile of old papers and notebooks I found some assignments I did back in junior high school. Among that pile o' junk I found Christmas cards I had gotten in the 7th grade. There was an envelope with a present drawn on it, meticulously colored in, and with the word "SUPRISE!" on the ribbon tied on the drawn gift box.
Inside the envelope was a nice card, presumably coming from a box of 15 other cards with similar designs and styles. From inside the card, out came a folded up note. The note was written in that neat penmanship - the kind of handwriting most girls seem to have in junior high school - on a small pink Hello Kitty notepad paper with tiny hearts along the top (where, incidentally, my name was spelled out with each letter inside it's own tiny heart).
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"Alan,
You were right I do have some questions I'd like you to answer (You dont have to answer the questions if you dont want to but you do have to answer)
1) If you do like me wouldn't you want to know more about me? (If you want me to like you I would like to know more about you)
2) Why do you like me? (I know they are stupid questions but I have to get them out of my head)
P.S. Please answer them in a really answer if you know what I mean
P.P.S. Please write (or call) back
Love
S-----"
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I found myself experiencing many mixed emotions as I processed what I had just read. This note was written almost 20 years ago. Why did I keep this card (and all my JHS junk) all this time? Why did this card/note re-appear in my life at this precise moment? What can I learn from this?
-- I was amused by how she told me I didn't have to answer... but I had to answer. =)
-- I have always claimed to be signal stupid and not someone who could gauge interest from women in my past. However, in hindsight, had I paid attention to what this girl was telling me in this note, my love life could have been different. Sometimes people want to know more about you because they find you interesting or are simply fishing for information. But it could also be that they might actually like you... not that this is the ONLY indicator but thinking back on moments in my life, I could have avoided confusion and missed opportunities had I learned this little lesson back in the 7th grade.
-- Why did I like her? An important question. Was it simply a physical attraction? Were there personality traits that drew me to her? These are not trivial details... but why DID I like her??...
-- The sad thing about this note is that I don't remember this girl. She isn't in my 8th grade yearbook (trust me, she isn't there. I checked... twice!) which means she probably switched schools at some point. *sigh* Yet another one of my JHS crushes abruptly exiting my life.
-- Nothing ever happened between me and this girl. I honestly cannot remember why... I don't think I ever answered this note. Is it possible I was a snob back then and was turned off by the fact she couldn't spell 'surprise' on the front of the card?? Did I get the card before the winter break and forgot all about the note by the time we came back to school?
-- The important thing about this note, for her, was that it gave her a chance to clean out the clutter from her head. I've realized this past holiday weekend that the clutter in my apartment isn't the only mess I'm dealing with. There is something I've been wrestling with lately and I'm using the emergence of this note as a catalyst for giving myself some piece of mind...
I've said it before and I'll say it again now: I'm a firm believer that coincidences aren't mere accidents. They occur in our lives for a purpose. We just need to be receptive to the reasons for these 'coincidences'. I don't claim to know why this happened to me now at this point in my life, but I do know it opened my eyes to something I should have taken care of a while ago.
Until next time, faithful reader......
5 comments:
LOVE IT LOVE IT LOVE IT!!! I was just having the same convo with my friend who "coincidentally" is in the process of moving into the 1st house he and his wife just bought. we were discussing the "old shoebox with memories" and why we feel the need to hold onto it even though we're in happy relationships. the answer was that it reminded us of our youth, innocence, and how far we've come in thoughts/feelings about relationships. i know i always smile at something i find in that box when i open it up after 5 or so years.
Intresting...20 yrs ago a girl would write a note with little hearts. Today, a girl could use email, text, social networking and even blog posts to get to know you better.
For me, I never believe in coincidences. It's always fate. Fate,that you meet a person or, that you found a 20 year old letter at this point in your life. Not to sound religious or anything like that, but I just believe there is a higher power making a little story for us. At times it's a crappy story, but then it could be a wonderful story. But whatever it is, you always grow from these "coincidences" Just my two cents :)
Aretie -- I didn't keep these things because of this card (and note inside). A lot of the other papers and cards are junk, essentially. Yet, I kept it after all this time...
Anonymous #1 (from 8:51pm) -- I had considered that too, actually. There is so much technology at our fingertips (and since I wear my heart on my sleeve so much on my blog and Facebook) that I don't really make it hard for anyone to know me well at all. I'm creating a whole new problem which is wondering just how much a girl might know about me simply from what I put out there. Also, WHO is taking the time to learn about me without asking me a word? lol...
Anonymous #2 (from 8:54pm) -- It's always a wonderful story. It may just have a crappy chapter or two. =)
I agree that those 'coincidences' are meant to be learning experiences. Somewhat like a cosmic slap in the face reminding you of something you should be aware of.
She may not be in the 8th grade yearbook but she may be on FB.....
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