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From last night's How I Met Your Mother (5/11/09)
[In Stella's car]
Ted: OK, but just tell me this. Why Tony? I mean, is it the money? The kung fu pajamas? Like, wha- what is it?
Stella: He's the one.
T: The one.
S: Yeah, I know it's kinda sappy but... yeah.
T: *sigh* OK, I'm going to say something out loud that I've been doing a pretty good job of not saying out loud lately. What you and Tony have, what I thought for a second you and I had, what I know that Marshall and Lily have. I want that. I do. I keep waiting for it to happen and I'm waiting for it to happen and... I guess I'm just... *sigh* I'm tired of waiting. And that is all I'm going to say on that subject.
S: You know I once talked my way out of a speeding ticket.
T: Really?
S: *nods* I was heading upstate to my parents' house doing, like, 90 on this country road and I got pulled over. So this cop gets out of his car, he kinda swaggers on over and he's like "Young lady, I've been waiting for you all day." So I looked up at him and I said "I'm so sorry, officer. I got here as fast as I could."
T: *chuckle* For real?
S: *chuckle* No. Small joke. I know that you're tired of waiting and you may have to wait a little while more but, she's on her way Ted. And she's getting here as fast as she can.
T: Bye, Stella
S: Goodbye, Ted.
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Now I'm not planning to get all melancholy and depressing proclaiming "FML", and whining about how I'm not where I wanted to be at this stage of my life. But I must admit watching that scene last night really tugged at the ol' heart strings.
I see several of my friends in happy and fulfilling relationships, starting families and I want that. When I thought I had it in the past, things were good and now that I don't, well... I feel like I'm adrift at sea. I may just be a hopeless (and maybe a little helpless?) romantic but I don't really enjoy being single.
Don't get me wrong... I'm not looking to dive right in to another relationship but I feel like a social retard when thinking about hooking up with someone. I may just be taking myself too seriously or simply over-thinking things but I haven't gotten very comfortable being single. So my primary focus has been on "doing my thing". Learning to do fun things that I normally didn't (and wouldn't) do in the past.
Nevertheless, I just can't shake the feeling that "time is running out". I'm a big believer in age being a state of mind and that you can be as young as you feel (within reasonable limits, of course). I also am always flattered when people think I'm younger than my actual age. But there are times when I'm left alone with my thoughts and I consider the "what if"s more than the "what now"s. In those moments, I can't stop the little voice in my head, the sappy romantic in me, who reminds me that we are simply waiting for the moment where I find "the one" instead of just going out there and sticking my neck out. I can't accept that things work that way... not any more.
But I'll keep waiting. I know that for as many friends of mine who are "happy", there are many others in the same boat as me. They're out there looking, waiting, or seeking their "one". And with that thought, I sit back and simply take a deep breath. My time - our time - will come. Whether I've met "the one" already or if she's coming into my life in the future, now is not the time to worry about it. I just need to live my life. And she - whoever it is - will get here when she gets here.
And that's all I feel like saying now on that subject.
Until next time, faithful reader......
6 comments:
You'll never know til you stick your neck out above the crowds and see the other one sticking their neck out just the same.
Totally know exactly what you're saying, and said it perfectly!
I have read all your blogs for this year. I think your best work is when you talk about yourself and express through writing what you have difficulty expressing in person (fears, hopes, past difficult situations etc). I think it's interesting because it makes you relatable to your readers since we may have similar experiences (I was struck by all the many similarities we share).
I think a good follow up to this blog would be detailing what "the one" would be for you. What are you hoping to find someday?
I look forward to continue to read your great blog.
-Faithful reader
Thanks for your reply in your most recent post. I was wondering what you thought of the comment.
I'm glad you are blogging again. =)
-Faithful reader
It was great to see your most recent post detailing "the one". I must say it was a great suggestion. =)
I agree that our concept of "the one" should not be so skewed that we find it hard to find anyone to fit our ideal of perfection. I think people get lost thinking about all the many trival characteristics when it would be more productive to focus on the top most important characteristics.
That being said I think it's good to see that your concept is down to earth. I've heard writing down your ideals increases your chances of actualizing them. Who knows maybe there is a cute, funny, smart, witty and affectionate girl reading your blog?
I also agree that it's important to find someone to evolve with you. I think the most important thing is to find someone who is looking to experience all the beauty and excitement of life with you and who is willing to grow and continue to want to self improve along with you. The beauty of life is to learn from our experiences (especially the negative ones) and change for the better. Hopefully your "one" will be excited to see Alan 4.0, 5.0 and beyond because she would be there cheering for you and supporting you in the adventure that is life.
I truly hope you find what you are looking for one day.
-Faithful reader.
Hello Mr/Ms Anonymous,
Thanks again for your feedback and your excellent suggestion (I'm assuming you're the same "anonymous" that suggested I write about 'the one' originally).
- It was nice to finally put the idea of 'the one' on paper, so to speak.
- "Who knows maybe there is a cute, funny, smart, witty and affectionate girl reading your blog?" -- Who knows... =)
- "Hopefully your 'one' will be excited to see Alan 4.0, 5.0 and beyond..." -- I hope to do the same for her.
- "I truly hope you find what you are looking for one day." -- I'm sure I will. All in due time. She's getting here as fast as she can. =D
One last comment... I think our idea of 'the one' HAS to be skewed. It needs to be a hyper-realistic model of perfection. We then strive to find someone that comes as close to our ideal person as possible. The moment we lower our standards for our perception of 'the one', we could end up with someone that falls short of the lesser ideal (the 'lesser one' if you will).
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